bruised || h.g

ch.15 "im hoplelessly in love with you"

Have you ever felt like you were drowning? Like not when you're in the pool and your younger brother pushes you under, like mentally. You're constantly struggling but no one can tell? I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean, everytime I pop up for air a wave gets thrown at me pushing me back under. All these thoughts are weighing me down. I've became a monster. People ask what's wrong but how am I supposed to explain how I feel when I don't even know myself? The voices in my head are screeching louder than a train on the tracks. My head feels like it's spinning in one full motion and I just can't stop the thoughts from coming.

All I saw were white walls, was I finally dead?

I didn't feel sad, I felt exhausted. All my hatred towards Hayes were gone. I felt mellow.

My vision became clear and I saw Skylynn sitting on the chair next to me on somebody's phone playing games.

I glanced at myself, I was in a hospital bed with a night gown on.

All I could hear was repetitive beeping to the monitor next to me reading my heartbeat. I saw IV's hooked into my arm and a clip on my finger.

Nash was on the couch against the ugly patterned hospital walls next to Nash who was fast asleep.

Why were they here? Why was I here? Where was my mom?

It finally worked.. After years and years of trying to kill myself, I almost actually did it.

I started to open my eyes fully slowly and looked at Nash who quickly got up and rushed to me.

"Hey kiddo" he whispered.

"Hi" I said my voice frail.

"How are you feelin?" He asked sitting on my bed.

"Okay, tired" I answered still feeling weak.

"why'd you do it Tess. You were legally dead for a long time" Nash said choking on his words.

"I wasn't happy" I answered.

"that's so cowardly. You have lots of people who love and care about you." Nash defended.

"go ahead, leave me. Like everyone else does. I'll be sure to add you to the list" I sat there.

"I'm sorry.. I was just so scared Tess. I thought you were gone" Nash held my hand.

"You're skin is so cold" he commented.

"Where's my mom?" I asked.

"Talking to your doctors with my mom"

"Why is hayes here?" I said.

"He's been up the entire time. Refused to leave you at any given moment. It's 3 am.. You were unconscious since 2 pm. Hayes found you in your bathroom. He tried waking you up and when you wouldn't he called 911. He's been crying since we got to the hospital, at 4"

I swallowed loudly feeling like such an asshole.

Hayes cares about me so much, but why? I mean I'm not beautiful. I have more problems than anyone I know. I'm not funny, I'm nothing special.

I completely blew him off, he was my first crush, my first kiss. I could die and be okay with it, because I kissed the one I cared about so much. But none of that matters anymore. I told Hayes I didn't love him, for a reason. Everything happens for a reason.

Maybe Hayes and I are meant for eachother, but it's just simply the wrong time. Nothing is worst when two people are supposed to be together but it's just not the right time.

After trying for so long to commit suicide, it almost happened. I was there and Hayes found me. He saved my life.

"Tess, you were dead at one moment" Nash reminded.

"I'm such an asshole" I mumbled.

"It's okay.. I'm sure Hayes would love to talk to you"

But why did I think he'd disagree? He'd probably scream at me. I hurt him. I lied to his face saying I didn't love him when I did. I attempted killing myself once again but this time I succeeded and he saved me. Hayes Grier saved my life. Why would he love to talk to me when all I did was cause trouble for him and make his life harder.

"Let him sleep; he's tired. When he wakes up we'll talk"

Nash nodded and left to get me some water. Skylynn passed out next to Hayes and I didn't even realize. I saw Hayes start to wake up so I quickly shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

I know I said that when he wakes up I'll talk to him, but I didn't think it would be this soon. The door shut and he was awake, what was I to say?

Hayes rubbed his eyes slowly looking at his surroundings. His face was drained, his eyes looked swollen and he didn't look like himself. He took a seat next to my bed. Hayes grasped my hand gently and rubbed it with his thumb slowly.

"Why Tess?" He whispered.

"Why would you do this to me?" He added.

"I gave up everything for you. I made a mistake, I did. It was so stupid. I thought it was just some stupid bet, I didn't think you would actually fall for me, let alone me really fall for you. But I did. And you're one of the most wonderful people I've ever met. When I saw you on the cold floor passed out, my heart dropped. I don't want to see a world without you, and I thought that I was going to be forced to. Im sorry I drove you to where you are now, I never thought you would be here because of me. I love you so much Tess. Please wake up, please talk to me." Hayes cried.

"I promise, God. If you wake Tess up, I will never be with her. I will never hurt her. I just need this girl in my life. Please." He voice cracked.

I slowly blinked my eyes open pretending as if I just woke up.

"Hey" I smiled weakly.

"Tess. Thank God you're alright." He hugged me.

I was shocked at hayes' actions but hugged him back.

"I lied to you." I blurted.

"what?" He said.

"I told you I didn't love you when I knew I did. Hayes I am in love with you. Hopelessly in love with a boy I met a month ago. I was scared" I admitted.

Our eyes locked together and before I knew it we were both leaning towards each other. Our lips laced together. Like they did a short few hours ago.

I didn't know what to do, let alone say. I was still in shock about what he said. I never knew this was how he truly felt about me.

Our lips parted, but our faces were still inches apart from one another. I could feel his breath on my lip, it was hot. It made my cold body tingle.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this." Hayes quicky sat up and speed walked out the door.

Slamming the door, taking my broken heart with him.

What had just happened?

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Guys, it's been like two months. Holy shit. I can't believe I've taken forever to update. Much apologies. I will try and update as much as possible💓 Love you all🙊

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