bruised || h.g

ch.17 "I still love her"

Hayes finally agreed to coming to see Tess, I knew it would make everything better. At least, a little.

The entire drive was silent, Hayes was thinking so loud I could practically hear his thoughts. Something was bothering him and it was obvious.

"What's goin on bro?" we sat at a red light.

"Thinking about her.." Hayes replied shaking his leg.

"Tess?" I asked.

Hayes nodded taking a glance at me then to the dirty window of my pickup looking out as trees passed by.

Hayes POV:

I never thought this would happen to me, Ever since I met Tess, my life has been a never ending whirlwind. All these twists and turns changing my life.

My life was ordinary, just a regular kid doing whatever he wanted, living life and now I'm sitting in my older brothers pick up because a girl I thought I loved, tried killing herself because she didn't love herself as much as I though I did.

I don't love her, I can't. I'm incapable of loving someone, I'm only fourteen. I dont even think I know what love is. I made a promise, that I wouldn't be with Tess, and I can't. I can't be with her because that's wrong. We're two very different people, living two very different lives. We don't work.

We were like a puzzle, Tess & I, when you try and look for the missing piece you've been struggling to find. You think it fits perfectly, but the longer you look at the two pieces you realize that the two simply do not work like you once thought before. Our eyes tricked us, we looked perfect for each other, but we really weren't. We were close, but just not enough.

Knowing that she tried killing herself because of me, I can't live with myself. All these times I wasn't here for her like she needed me, makes me sick to my stomach. Tess deserves someone who can help her with the issues she's having, and I just can't give that to her. As much as I wish I could, I'm just not able too. I have to let her go, and she's gonna hate me, but, it's the right thing to do. For the both of us. Maybe one day we can try again, but she needs help. And I just can't give that to her. She doesn't need an extra weight on her shoulders because of me. She needs to focus on herself, and how to make herself happy. Because that's what's important.

I walked into her hospital room and saw her laying there peacefully, without a care in the world. I watched as her chest rose and fell with its own rhythm.

Nash stood behind me pushing me forward forcing me to walk into something I wasn't ready to do.

When I sat down, her eyes began to flutter open slowly. Her pink lips curved upwards forming a perfect smile placed upon her face.

"Hi" She said her voice so weak and exhausted.

"Hey Tess" I looked down at my lap.

"I'm glad you came" Tess started to sit up, her innocent eyes looking at me.

I sat there still fiddling with my thumbs not knowing exactly what to say to her.

"Tess.." I started off.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna be fine. I can go back to school in like two days!" She smiled.

"That's great, but there's something I think you should know.." My voice trailed.

She seemed so happy and upbeat. I didn't know how to tell her this.

"What is it Hayes" Her pink lips formed into a straight line, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"I can't do this .." I mumbled.

Her eyes drooped down, her chin dropping to her chest. She place her lips in between her teeth, biting down holding in something that was dying to escape her. I didn't say what I couldn't do, but she definitely knew exactly what I was talking about as soon as the words left my mouth.