Ｙａｎｄｅｒｅ {Sapnap x reader} [Discontinued]

chokehold (28)

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𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝓎-𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇, 𝐼 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓈𝑒

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I walked out the front door. The garden was a little away. I looked up at the window, watching my two friends wave at me. I didn't want them to come along. They had helped me a lot. I wasn't scared of Nick or what he would do. I smiled and started walking towards the garden. Nick had no power over me. None at all. 

I started walking onto the cold grass, walking off the path. A big Bush fence surrounded the garden. The entrance gate almost made it look like I was walking into a wonderland. I opened the gate. It creaked loudly. I stepped into the big flower garden. The garden was filled with beautiful flowers in every colour imaginable. I started walking. Taking my time, Enjoying the flowers and beautiful scenery. 

I heard the sound of water running. Of course, he was gonna be at the lake. I let out a sigh walking towards the sound- I Could hear his familiar voice. I felt my heart beating fast. He was singing. I walked a bit closer. 

I stood there listening to him. A part of me had missed him. A part of me was, Sorry for him. Who messed you up-? Can I be around people without you wanting to murder everyone in sight? I started listening to what he was singing.

''oh, necromancer, put a spell on me. With kisses so sweet, they rot my teeth. Oh, Necromancer, why are you so far away. Another day rolls by without me kissing your face.''

His voice seemed calm. Almost different. It didn't sound sad, Or happy. It just sounded cold. I stood still. Listening to him. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't. He couldn't go a few hours without me. He needed the distance more than I did.

'' Oh, Love, won't you meet me in the city? The street lights and corner store signs make you look so pretty... But when will you just be with me. I'm so infatuated. I'd swim across the sea.''

He needed help. But Is that something I can let myself do? I honestly just want a normal life with my friends. I took a few quiet steps. There he sat on a bench. Hunched over, looking at his palms. He had a little fire in his hand. It was a small calm fire.

'' I guess you're just fading all away. And I guess I have nothing much to say. And you can call me and tell me if you're okay. I just wish I could see you every day. '' 

I gulped, listening to him. He looked up at me. His expression didn't change. He looked sad. He sat up straight. Keeping his eyes on me. I didn't have anything to say. Seeing him was almost enough. 

'' Hi. '' He said, looking at me.

I looked down. Hugging myself tighter. I walked over to the bench sitting down beside him. I looked into the water. I didn't want to look back at him. Even tho I knew he was looking straight at me.

'' Nick, You are unbelievable. '' I just said, staring at the water. I heard him humming.

'' I know its not a nice thing to do. Even though the things I do are bad, they are for you,'' He said, rubbing his hands together, making the fire disappear. He was right. It didn't feel nice. It didn't at all. 

'' Why are you like this. '' I said, looking at him. He seemed thrown off by the question. He opened his mouth slightly. He was looking into my eyes. He looked like a helpless puppy. He let out a chuckle. 

'' I guess its a lot of different things, really. '' He let out a sigh as he thought. He started shaking his head a bit. I waited for him to speak. I really wanted to know who messed him up to the point of him being a possessive freak. 

'' There was this one guy, Called Karl. I've been with people of all genders- but I've never, Dated any of them. '' He said, looking at me. I hadn't heard anything about his past relationships. I looked at him with curiosity.'' Karl and I were official- My first official relationship. But Karl had never been with a guy. I guess I wanted to be a good boyfriend, you know- so I just let him go to parties and hand out with his 'friends'. Didn't think anything of it. '' He ran a hand through his hair.

'' It was the first time I've ever been devoted to someone. The first time I've been boiling. If you know what I mean '' He looked at me. I gulped and nodded. The first relationship is special... I understood where he came from. Liam wasn't perfect either.

'' He didn't give the same loyalty I did. We were together for almost a year. And had been seeing other people since we got together. I guess I just got angry and blamed other people. Even tho Everything was Karl's fault. '' He paused and took a deep breath before talking. He was thinking about his words. 

''Karl isn't at our school because I wanted him to know what he did. Every person he got with after I found out about everything, I got rid of. He, of course, called me insane and broke it off right then and there. '' He chuckled a bit, leaning back.

I looked at him. He smiled at me softly. '' I do fucked up shit, I know that. But I honestly can't control it most of the time. '' I didn't know what to say to him. It really didn't give him the right to stalk and hurt people around me. He and I were never an official thing, were we? I really don't know anymore. I had gotten so used to his lips that it felt weird without his kisses. 

I looked into the water again. He grabbed my chin, turning me to face him. '' One thing he said was right tho, I am insane. Manic. But that's all for you. I am yours.'' He smiled.

'' If anyone tries to hurt you or take you away. I won't hesitate to do anything. '' He smiled. His hand found its way around my neck. '' You are mine. Only mine. Nothing will change that. Karl made it clear that I need to have control if I want to keep someone I love. '' Nick smiled.

I Gulped, looking at him. He gave me chills. This was wrong, So wrong. But I felt my eyes constantly looking at his lips. I wanted him to kiss me, but it was so wrong. I felt him pressing the sides of my neck. His hand was warm. Almost burning me. I let out a breath. He smiled at me softly. '' I won't kiss you~ '' He said before letting go. I breathed heavily, holding around my neck. 

We were just talking about his past relationship, and- He switched like that. I looked into my lap. He had me wrapped around his finger. He stood up. '' Sorry to distract you from your sleepover Y/n. You wouldn't have come out willingly if I just knocked on your door. '' He smiled before putting his hands in his pockets, walking off. I watched him walking. I kept breathing heavily. He was mad, Insane! But oh, was he lovely...

No, no, no- no, he doesn't have power over me. I do not want him. I do not. I sighed and stood up. I want him so much it hurts. I started walking back to the house. He could trick me closer with his songs and sad face. But he switches instantly. I rubbed my neck softly. My hands were cold. 

I almost forgot how warm he was. My heart was beating out of my chest. 

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{1343 words}