Chapter 24: Confused Feelings-Alynne's POV

12 1 0
                                    

It was morning of a Sunday so I wouldn't have anything therapeutic at least until two this afternoon, this leaving me stagnate in my room border than a Monopoly game, if you get what I mean. However, Benji's day is filled to the brim with events and meetings that he needs to attend as well as things that he needs to accomplish. I wish that I had something I could do. I am the one who can't stand no being productive and Benjamin being the procrastinator who will avoid work he doesn't want to do at almost any cost. 

"Well, might as well check online and see if anyone actually misses me," I quietly thought to myself. As soon as those words had passed through my mouth, I knew that the answer was already no. The only friends I really had were Benji and Maddy, and they were already here with me. Other than that, no one. There was no one on the outside world that cared about me, or enough to shoot me an email or even send me a little message on Facebook. I slid my laptop out of it's case, sat it on my lap, and threw open the screen just for the hell of it. Worst comes to worst I could play Pet Rescue Saga or some other stupid game like that online.

I logged onto Facebook to see that my feed was flooded by sponsored pictures of bags of chips or of cute animals. On any normal day I would be overjoyed and fangirling over the pics of the latter, but right now, I honestly couldn't possibly care less. However, my message inbox was as dry as a desert. I pulled up my email and it held a slighly different story. There was one sole unread email in my inbox.

Benji King-Subject: Video{Open ASAP}

I made up a little video that was suggested by our superiors. However, I'm not allowing them to watch it. I find it more important that you do, so here it is. 

I was slightly surrpised to see this kind of message in my inbox, to say the least. It's very unlike Benji to no follow given orders, unless his personal beliefs majorly trump what others want. I guess I better do what the subject text instructs. I downloaded then launched the video. My hands were tapping against the desk on fron of me that my laptop was placed on out of anticipation wih only one question on my mind. 

What could possibly be on here that he only wants me to see?

The video popped right up and showed Benji sitting on the couch in the common room. He was running his fingers through his hair out of nervousness, like he always does when this particular feeling washes over him. 

"My very few friends keep asking me why the hell I stick with Alynne," Benji said ino the camera. "They ask me why do I say with her when she's so sick like this. Why don't I just leave and forget about her? Well, in all honesty, I wouldn't be able to even if I tried. Even if I was offered anything my heart desired, I wouldn't be able to,"  He added before cradling his head in his hands. These kind of confessions must be hard for him. He usually doesn't hold his feelings in like the typical man, but he usually doesn't openly exploit them to a camera lense and say 'Here you go! Take a look at it and feel free to pick it clean of whatever you can!' 

"The truth is, I love Alynne so much."  This caught me slightly off guard. I know he loves me a lot, and I love him just as much if not more. I guess I just didn't expect him to jump right onto that statement. 

"If I didn't really love her, I would have just abandoned her from day one and not have even gone through any of this shit wih her. I would have just left, found some oher girl, and continued my life." This was slightly surprising as well, but it was only said to defend his point, if he had been able to leave without any guilt then he didn't really love me. He can't leave, so he loves me. He loves me a lot. 

"I didn't leave not only because I love her so much it's probably not healthy, but because I can't live without her." That was the last bit I heard before tears started to escape my eyes, but for once not those of sadness, but those of joy. 

I know that I've known this and Benji's constantly reassured me of this on a daily basis and I've believed him every time, but this gesture that was seemingly forced was the biggest one that's come yet and I need not question anymore. 

He really loves me. He loves me a lot. 

The Broken MirrorWhere stories live. Discover now