The Broken Mirror

Chapter 13: How Do You Expect This?

"How do you expect Alynne to get any better when you're isolating her?" I questioned the rest of the team. Like I had predicted, they indeed bring up the fact that I had spent the night with her in her room even after everyone on her medical team had made it very clear that it was strictly forbidden for me to visit her when not under surveillance.

"She's supposed to be learning to self-sooth," Was the reasoning that I was given, these words coming out of the mouth belonging to the psychiatrist Dr. Mi. I know she's the one with the degree in psychology, but sometimes I swear I know more than she does.

"How are you supposed to self-sooth if you pretty much hate yourself?" I questioned. "After all, that is the reason she's here." No matter how much I hated to say it, I, as well as everybody else, knew it was the truth. Alynne was here because she hated her outer appearance, and that's a huge part of self-hatred. So simply, how are you supposed to soothe yourself if you hate yourself. It just isn't going to work, and you're insane if you think it will. Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing repeatedly but expecting a different result or something like that?

"She's not here because she hates herself, she's here because she has a mental disorder," Dr. Mi muttered under her breath, feeling the need to correct me even though her response was flawed.

"The mental disorder gives a distorted body image, body dysmorphia, she hated the way she looked, deeming herself too fat. Isn't this a form of self-hatred?" I questioned, believing that it is but wanting the psychologist's viewpoint on my claim as well as anybody else's from those who cared to speak up and let their views be heard.

"The mental disorder is making her feel this way," Dr. Mi said in the same hushed tone. She took in another breath to continue to speak but I cut her off.

"And you don't think I already know this?" I questioned. "I may not be a dietitian or a doctor or a psychologist but I do have some idea as to what would be best for Alynne," I added. "After all, I do know more about her than medical files can tell you."

"You may think you know what's best for her, but we didn't earn a medical degree from just knowing things. Now please, we know what's best for you and I suggest that you let us do our job," Dr. Mi almost snapped at me, but somehow managed to keep a calm tone even though it was easy enough to see that there was an underlying tone of annoyance.

"And if you think that keeping her cooped up and not being allowed to talk to any of her friends or loved ones is going to help her recover then I think that medical degree of yours belongs to somebody else," I snapped, not being able to contain my anger that was obviously directed towards Dr. Mi. "Dr. Mi, you're at least supposedly a psychiatrist. What does social isolation do to a person?"

"I'm not sure," I heard her under my breath. A part of me really felt like pointing it out and laughing in her face but I knew that it would.

"Social isolation, better known as loneliness, is more deadly than obesity. It impairs your immune system functionality and increases inflammation which can ultimately lead to things such as arthritis, type two diabetes, and even heart disease," Maddy shared, her face beaming. She appeared to be very proud with having shared this knowledge that she only seemed to possess.

"Is your attempt to have Alynne self-soothe really worth all of this potential trouble?" I inquired, curious as to what their reaction would be, but Dr. Mi's in particular. "Is it?"

"Benjamin, we have nothing to prove that our attempt to have Alynne learn to self-soothe is effecting her," She said, this being yet another cruddy excuse. Are you shitting me?

"And her screeching for me day and night isn't enough for you?" I was really losing my temper now, now that I hadn't already. "How dare you say that this isn't affecting her. When I visited her last night because I couldn't tolerate her screaming out for me anymore, she said to me, and I quote. 'Oh wait, let me guess. You're one of those workers that have come in to check on me to make sure I haven't jumped out the window to commit suicide because I can't stand being in this shit hold of a place any longer," I informed. "This was in response to my appearance."

"She doesn't want to be here because she believes that she's being treated for an illness that she doesn't have," Dr. Mi snapped, not being able to contain herself anymore.

"But what harm could it do, letting her talk to friends in a private setting?"

"Dr. Mi, Benjamin does have a point," Maddy agreed, about time that somebody did. "After all, you do know the things that could result from us keeping Alynne in her room, and that's a risk we don't want to take because that's just another unnecessary thing that we'd have to treat in it's occurrence."

"Also, cognitive therapy has been proven more effective when at least one friend or family member is present," Nurse Byrnes added.

"Fine, you can visit Alynne and attend the therapy sessions alongside her," Dr. Mi finally gave in, reluctant to it but her doing so was all that mattered. "But, if you get any information that could even potentially help us with her recovery, you must tell us or the deal is off."

"I definitely will."