Stockholm Syndrome

Mine

Sky Eyes. He's so close to me. I can hear his gentle breathing, his steady pounding heart. I kiss his neck softly, my teeth grazing his skin, hunger burning inside me. I hold him close to me, a deep growl escaping me. He shivers and shifts, his hand resting over my throbbing heart. Be careful with him. The mother voice says. Why do you even try? He's a cold-blooded animal, he doesn't care. Tears sting my eyes; Hate hurts me. "I d-do care." Yeah right, don't lie Subj- "My name, is Derp-!" Oh get a grip! Leave him alone!, Hope spoke up. Why should I? Let him alone Hate! It's his life to live, not yours! I shut my eyes tight, warm tears escaping as I do so. "Please be quiet." They fall silent. I'm alone again, alone with Ian. I open my eyes. We're in his cell, on the broken and uncomfortable mattress in the corner. It's better than a chair though; and The Master would hurt Ian if he found him with me outside the cell. He opens his eyes and I gaze into them, imagining the clouds drifting across and the warm sunshine on my face. I close my eyes. "Sun. Warmth. Sky." Sky Eyes' lips touch mine and I feel waves of heat pass through me, igniting the hunger inside me. My heart pounds. Head spins, mind shakes. I want to pull him closer and dominate him, tear off his clothes and run my hands over his skin, my heart beating faster as his soft moans would fill my ears.

I gasp and pull away, a strangled whimper escaping me. New voices. Don't fight it. He's your prey. I grit my teeth and Ian slips his fingers between mine, holding my hand. "Derp?" He says my name softly. He's not my prey. I'M NOT AN ANIMAL! "Derp. It's ok, I'm here." I open my eyes, Ian's' inches away from mine. I can't hold back any longer. I lose control and force my mouth onto his, wrapping my arms round him and holding him tightly. He wriggles, trying to get away, but I have control. Need to...taste. My tongue finds his. Bite down. He whimpers, trying to push me away. I disconnect the kiss, my vision going red. "D-Derp, stop, please!" I snarl and tighten my grip on him, biting his neck. "You're mine." I growl through gritted teeth. He gasps for breath. "You're hurting me! Please!" Hurt. Knives. Screams. I bolt away from him, panting. He sits up, looking at me in fear. I choke back a sob. "I-I can't...control." I bow my head, gritting my teeth; I hear Ian's rapid breathing. "I'm sorry. I hurt you.", I say, looking up. The sky has turned cloudy and tearful from shock. I bite down on my own tongue and look away. "W-What happened?" He asks. "New voices. Told me not to fight it. I-I lost control." He doesn't say anything, just waits. Waits till I have control over my mind once more. When I do, I move close to him again, holding him in my arms. "Ian. Why do you...like me?" He sighs and tilts his head back, staring up at me. "Ever since I first met you, I've felt drawn to you. I felt like there was someone buried beneath all the wreckage of suffering and hurt, and only I could dig them out. I want to help you Derp. You don't have to be alone anymore." Hot tears run down my face. "Voices said I was an animal." Ian closes his sky eyes and the sun goes out. "We're all animals Derp. That's what makes us human."
***
I acted calm, but inside I was still freaking out. I seemed to fool Derp into thinking that I was asleep though and soon his breathing evened out. That was scary. He'd changed in a heartbeat. I slipped out of his hold and got up off the mattress that was serving as a bed in the cell. As I stood I felt something in my jacket pocket hit my leg. I took it out and smiled when I saw my sunglasses. The one thing they hadn't confiscated when I got here. They had taken my watch and phone. I put them on and felt like SSundee again. I sighed wearily. I missed my friends and family. I had been trapped in this dark place for god knows how long. Time had no meaning here. It was like we were suspended in reality. I glanced back at Derp, who was asleep. He looked like a different person in his sleep. Peaceful and calm, his breathing even. Then, I saw him tense up, his neck muscles straining as I heard him emit a low, spine-chilling growl. I stepped back slightly as his hands curled into fists. Then, he went silent and relaxed. I cautiously approached him, going down on my knees and resting my hand on the side of his face. "Knives." I heard him whisper. A shiver went down my spine. "Derp?" "Knives...and needles..." He sighed gently through his nose. "Sky eyes..." I sat back, rocking on the balls of my feet. I wondered what I was to him. Was I an anchor? An anchor to reality? Or was I just a toy? Something he could love just to see what it felt like. I sighed too. Ever since I'd been brought here, I had entered a world that made no sense. A world where sadistic scientists could take people apart like papier-mâché and put them back together again as a completely different person. I bit my lip. Who was Derp before he became Subject 304? Who was he before he was kidnapped, turned into a psycho through obviously illegal and crazy experiments?

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn't realised that Derp had opened his eyes and was staring straight at me. It was a little unnerving and definitely jolted me back to reality. I stared back at him. "Who are you?" I whispered. He blinked before saying one word; a name. "Joseph." I frowned. "What?" He didn't break my gaze, his wild crooked eyes deepening, revealing the insanity and twisted mind lying behind them. But I saw warmth in them too, a flickering spirit that grew restless, trapped inside a body that didn't belong to it. I couldn't even imagine trying to live in someone else's skin; talking with someone else's voice. "Joseph. Old me was called Joseph, Ian." The hairs on the back of my neck stood up when he used my real name. "Old you? You mean the person you...used to be?" His eyes filled with sadness and tears as he nodded. "Yes." Sympathy washed over me as I moved and lay back down beside him. He slowly pulled my sunglasses off, looking at them. "Why do you hide sky eyes?" I blinked. "It's like my signature thing. Back...home, I'm known as SSundee. It's my internet, well, Youtube, alias." He frowned. "Like, a second name? Like me?" I looked at him, watching his hundreds of personalities flick behind his eyes like an old black and white roll of film. Subject 304; the psycho experiment who got pleasure from other people's misery and laughed at their screams. Derp SSundee; the confused and vulnerable victim of fate's harshest cruelties. Taken from his family and torn apart, moulded like clay into the person he was never meant to be. Joseph...Rose...Sky Eyes. I smiled a little. "Yeah, like you."

He smiled too and I saw a shadow of the person he used to be flit across his face, trapped in his wild eyes. I felt him cautiously slip his arms round me, resting his forehead on mine. My stomach twisted and I fought the urge to push him away. I was always conflicted. I wanted him to kiss me and reveal the passionate and dominating side of him that I wanted to see. But I still wasn't sure; I knew damn well I was treading on dangerous territory with Derp. I had no idea of what I was to him, or if he even knew and would ever recognise love for what it was. If we ever did share a love, it would surely be a twisted and confusing one. We were polar opposites, never meant to meet. He probably wasn't even meant to exist in this form. But as I locked eyes with him, I saw it in his crooked ones. "Derp?" "Yes?" I blinked a few times, but didn't break our gaze. "Do you...love me?" He looked thoughtful. "Love...it sounds, familiar. What is it?" I fought back tears. He doesn't love you Ian, you made a mistake. "Love is...it's when you want someone. You want to protect them and help them through the bad times in your lives. You want to hold them, or want them to hold you. Want to kiss them and stand beside them; follow them everywhere because you're theirs. But it works both ways; if you share a love, you share a heart, a life and a sense of peace in your mind." Derp seemed transfixed on me, silent as I told, unawares to him, my deepest passions and wants. "Is love...good? What does it feel like?"

I looked at him, resting my hand on the side of his face. "It can be good and bad. Love can hurt, but it's worth it to feel it from someone else. As for what it feels like..." I took a deep breath and full on kissed him on the lips, closing my eyes. His scent and taste was all around me, his hands sliding up my back, his thumbs running over my shoulder blades and his leg entwining with mine, sending cold shivers through my body. He was kissing me back now, passion and lust joining the mix of emotions running through the kiss. I felt suspended in time, my thoughts swimming in warm tears. I was scared. I knew why I was scared. I was scared of him. Scared of what he was capable of. I was scared of myself too. Scared of what he had made me. Scared of who or what I really was. I had changed, become a different person, like him. Maybe we were similar in that way, that both of us had suffered and delivered the same blows to one another. He drew away, his eyes welling up with tears of an emotion I didn't know. "I-Ian...do you...love, me?" I stared at him, my heart in my throat. "I-I don't know Derp." I croaked, blinking back tears as his ran down his face. He shut his eyes. "Only animals can love eachother. A human can't truly love an animal." "Derp, you're not an animal." He opened them, glaring at me. "Then what am I?" I was taken aback, but his sudden burst of anger quickly faded as he gazed at me questioningly. I swallowed hard, answering him. "Y-You're mine." He didn't say anything, just held me closer and tighter, resting his face in my hair, breathing in my scent deeply. "I-If I'm yours...are you, mine too?" I knew I would of had to make this decision sometime, now that time had come. I took a deep breath.

"Yes Derp SSundee. I-I'm yours."

He smiled.