Stockholm Syndrome

Broken

(A/N: I had tears in my eyes at one point writing this. No word of a lie.)
I wake up to the sound of gentle breathing and quiet murmurs. Someone is stroking my forehead gently, talking to themselves in a hushed tone. "Sky Eyes wouldn't betray me. I won't hurt him." The back of my eyelids is a warm red; there's a light nearby. I crack one eye open, looking up. Derp is lying beside me, propped up on one elbow, playing with my hair, eyes shut, talking to himself. The candle is burning on his bedside table, soft firelight washing over us like gentle red watercolours. "Hurt made me want to kill. Can't...control. But I will for Sky Eyes." I relax, closing my eyes again, breathing in deeply. Derp shifts and I feel him move closer to me. His forehead touches mine and I open my eyes. He smiles, crooked eyes gleaming. "You're awake." I nod sleepily. My shoulder and legs ache, my body worn and tired. He kisses me softly and I feel the same old conflict within myself. I ignore it and kiss him back, watching as he draws away. Then, I feel my insides twist as a wave of hunger suddenly smashes into me. I groan and sit up, gritting my teeth as my stomach growled loudly. Derp tilted his head to one side.

"Do you need to eat?" I look at him. "H-how long have I been here?" He shrugs. "I don't know. A while though." No wonder I felt so weak and exhausted. I'd probably gone days without food or water. I sigh heavily. "Uh Derp? C-can we get some food?" He nods. "Yes. But I'm not allowed food. Master said." I frown at him. "Derp." "Mm?" "T-Take your shirt off." "Ok." He takes off his jacket and unbuttons his shirt, slipping it off. I take a sharp intake of breath, my eyes widening. He's covered in scars. Some thick and knotted, running all the way round his body. Others thin and faded, streaking across his skin like arrows. His ribs are sickeningly prominent; I can count each one as they stick out of his body like drying racks. "D-Derp..." He looks at me. "Yes Ian?" I swallow hard, trying not to stare at his horrific injuries. I notice an angry red brand mark on his shoulder. Numbers burnt into his skin, like he's cattle or something. SUBJECT 304. "Y-you need to eat. How have you not starved to death by now?!" His eyes turn sad. "I don't know Ian. I wanted to die, but my body wouldn't let me." "Why would you want to die?!" He sighs, eyes filling with tears. "I-if you were me Sky Eyes, why wouldn't you?" I stare at him, speechless. He bows his head and picks up his shirt, pulling it back on again.

I watch as his scars crinkle and move over his lean muscles, like a second skin. It disgusts me that someone could do this to another human being. Take away their life, their sanity and past. Make them a new body, make them live in shame of it for the rest of their life because they've been made into a monster. I look at Derp's eyes. So sad. Crooked. Mismatched. Weird. He looks at me, the icy iris' reflecting the candlelight, softening and deepening his gaze. Unique. Beautiful. I move slowly onto my knees, moving in front of him and cupping his miserable face in my hands. He's left his shirt open and my stomach turns when I see his mutilated body once more. I lean forward and kiss him softly, feeling his tears running over my lips, giving the kiss a salty tang. I draw away, swallowing my repulsion and dropping my hands, slipping them under his shirt and round his waist. I realise I can actually hook my thumbs into his pelvis; he's so thin, it's unbearable. "H-He starved you. Why?" Derp wiped away his tears. "H-he said it was a question of will. The will to live. H-he wanted to see just how long I could go without food, or water." I kiss his lips again, running my thumbs gently over his ribs. "Or love." He bit his lip. "Yeah." I sigh and rest my forehead on his, running my hands over his thin figure, slipping off his shirt and kissing his shoulder where the brand mark was.

He shivers. "I can't believe they did this to you." He blinks back tears. "I-It's not the worst thing they've done." I stare at him. "W-what's the worst thing?" I ask, dreading the answer. He swallows hard. "They left me in a dark, cold cell. Without food or water. Minutes became hours, hours became days. I was trapped there for so long, screaming for help that never came. It was so dark. No light. Always dark. And when someone did come, it was to gag me." I had lost the will to speak, staring into his broken and tortured eyes. "When they were bored, they'd tie my hands together and cut my wrists so I had to tear off my own skin to get free of the ropes." I looked down at his hands, their palms turned upwards. There were thick scars criss-crossing his wrists like spider webs. I swallowed hard, bile rising in my throat as my stomach twisted in hunger and horror. "I-Is that what you did to me?" I look back up. He nods, shaking, starting to twitch spasmodically. "M-Master tied m-me down. Stabbed knives into me. N-no escape..." The tears are running down his face now, silent sobs making his shoulders shake. "He told me there was n-no e-escape from him. And l-later on...from m-myself. From what h-he'd m-made me." I wipe his tears away, kissing his forehead tenderly as he leans into me, sobbing.

I wrap my arms round his bony body, holding him tightly. "Ssh, it's ok. I'm here now. No more pain or darkness. I'll keep you safe." He whimpers, lifting his head and placing it on my shoulder, running his fingers over the scars on his arm. "Safe in your Sky Eyes." He whispers. I blink back tears, smiling sadly. "Y-yeah. Sky Eyes." He draws away, his forehead on mine, his mesmerising eyes staring into mine as I found myself falling away into them once more. "What are my eyes?" I gaze into them. I see the broken and neglected soul trapped behind them. I see the pain and suffering inside. I see the intense passion and lust I always found myself craving. I see the soft affection and love. The fierce protective side and the terrifying side of him, always conflicting. I swallow hard. "Your eyes are...your eyes." He tilts his head to one side. "My eyes?" I nod, placing a hand on the side of his face. "Yeah." I whisper, smiling a little. "No one else has eyes like yours. No one has such...beautiful eyes." They fill with tears as I gaze into them. He blinks and they spill over, tracing down his cheeks. "M-my eyes aren't beautiful Ian. The Master says their horrible. Rose-m-a-r-y avoids looking at them. Max doesn't trust them. My eyes make me a monster."

The tears I've been trying to hold back are unleashed, running down my cheeks as the lump in my throat chokes me. I hold his face in my hands, gripping his head, shaking. "Derp, you're not what people th-think you are! You're not a monster! You're not a creature of the darkness that tears people apart! You're Derp SSundee! Y-you're mine...and..." He looks at me, shaking as sobs wrack his insides. "I-I'm what Ian?" I choke back a sob. "I love you." I whisper. He frowns. "W-what?" I fit my mouth to his, kissing him hard as his arms go round me, pulling me with him as he falls onto his back, passion and pain running through the kiss, clashing and entwining in spiteful combinations. I break off, holding his face still, crying and smiling at the same time. "I-I love you Derp SSundee." His eyes widen slightly as he gazes up at me. "I-I love you too Sky Eyes." I break down again and cry into his chest, all the past ordeal rushing back to me. So far from family and friends. My emotions twisted and broken again and again. My body bruised and battered. Knives being stabbed through my skin so many times. My blood splattering on the metal and pooling on the ground. My life draining away. Derp screaming my name in his nightmares. I realise Derp is crying with me. We're both so broken. So hurt inside. I draw away, kissing him again, needing his taste and scent running through me.

I feel his sobs jerk through me, sharp intakes of breath, his pounding heart straining to get to mine. I'm still crying, my eyes stinging and bloodshot. Derp tangles his fingers in my hair, bringing me closer. My grip on him tightens as his other hand slips round my waist, his fingers creeping under my shirt, his cool fingertips brushing my warm skin gently. I need this. I let him take the kiss further, tears still falling from my eyes. His sobs have calmed now, the occasional shudder running through him as I kiss him harder, craving the passion and lust, my emotions and mind twisted together in a confusing mess. Derp's hand moves from my waist, down to my leg, his fingers curling round my thigh as he flips us over. He leans hard on me, my heart pounds as I run my fingers down his spine, feeling the goosebumps break out on his scarred flesh. This is what I need. His taste is inside my mouth, his thick scent evading my senses and sending my breathing into spasms. This is what I want. Want the dominating and passionate side of Derp. Suddenly he breaks away, body shaking as he sobs hard.

"Derp? What is it?" He swallows hard, eyes tight shut, still crying. "I-I can't Ian, I have to hurt...have to-" He whimpers and I stiffen in horror as his eyes snap open, burning blood red. "D-Derp?" He snarls and I panic, trying to get away from him. "Derp!" He grabs my arms though and pins me down on the bed, snarling again like an animal, grinning madly. "No escape from me Ian." He hisses my name maliciously, laughing insanely. I had forgotten about this side. I had been so foolish. So...selfish. Why did I let this happen?! "No! S-Stop! I-" A loud moan escapes me as he bites my neck hard, growling loudly. "You're m-mine Ian." He draws away, grinning, baring his sharp canines. He's panting like an animal as he stares down at me, madness raging in his livid-red crooked eyes. "Sky Eyes is...mine." He laughs again. What have I done?!

Love is evil.
Love is good.
Love will play games with your mind,
And confuse you beyond what anything else could.
But if you want to play the game, play your cards well,
Or you'll find yourself bound forever in its eternal spell.