Stockholm Syndrome

Nightmares

Rose and Ian were yelling. I don't like it. Ian looked angry. Rose looked scared and worried. Did Ian hurt her? He wouldn't do that. He doesn't hurt. I'm the one that hurts. I curl up on my bed. The room is cold and damp. Lonely without Ian. Like it was before... I close my eyes. Cover my face. Screams echo around my mind...

Darkness. Heartbeat. Loud. Pounding head. I hear Ian's scream. Try to run. Feet cannot move. Eyes sting. Bleeding. Crying. Scrape. Scrape. A hoarse, dull crunch of concrete scraping against metal. Cold hands running down my spine. "Don't move boy, you'll only make it worse."

Eyes snap open. Cold metal chills the flesh. I see equipment surrounding me. IV drips; a metal table with a rusty tray on it, sterilised scalpels and syringes lying on it. No, no no no! I don't want to be here! I tug at the bonds on my arms and ankles. Skin is tight, scars stretching over my body. "Stop. Struggling." A malicious hiss in his voice. A gloved hand goes for the syringe, a white gloved hand. Long, bony fingers slip round it, lifting it off the tray. I struggle more. A hand slams down on the back of my neck, holding me still. I whimper, tears streaming from my eyes. I feel the needle slice into my skin, icy cold liquid rushing through me, numbing my upper body. The syringe goes down. Scalpel is picked up. No warning as it is suddenly stabbed into and dragged through my flesh, cutting through tendons and veins. I cry out, teeth biting down on my tongue. "Shut your mouth boy!" My head is banged against the metal. Vision blacks out and returns with spots blinking at the sides. Scalpel sinks deeper and deeper. I flinch, whimpering and shaking, mewling in pain. "P-p-please s-stop!" Fingernails dig into back of neck. Skin weeps crimson blood. "St-stop! I-" Head is banged against the metal even harder. Cry out. Blackness.

"Joseph. Joseph wake up. You were dreaming." I sat up. Sunlight was streaming through the windows of my bedroom. Rose was sitting on the duvet beside me, pale pink eyes shimmering in the morning glow. She laughed a little. "Why do you look so startled?" She rested her hand against my forehead. "You feeling okay?" I embraced her, nuzzling into her hair. It smelt of coconuts and honey. "I've missed you so much." She giggled. "You weirdo." Suddenly there was a scream from outside. We both looked to the wall, alarmed. A deathly, frozen silence. Then the house exploded into flames. Rose was torn away from my grip. Suddenly I was on the ground. Deafening screams were all around me. I covered my ears, shutting my eyes tight as smoke stung my throat and eyes. I cried out for my mother as she screamed my name. "Joseph! Joseph RUN!" Rough hands round me. Dragging me away kicking and screaming through the fiery wreckage of my home. "Rose! Rose!" A cloth was pressed to my mouth. Chucked into ice cold water. Can't...breathe. Vision slowly faded out. Eyelids closed. Joseph...Joseph...

"Joseph!" I bolt upright. Hands shoot out, gripping rough fabric. I open my eyes. Inches away from Ian's wide ones and frightened face. He grabs the sides of mine, bringing it closer to his. "Deep breaths Derp, calm down dude." I inhale shakily. "I-I-Ian-!" "It's ok Derp, I'm here! It's ok. Hush now. Breathe." I blink, tears running down my face. "Rose...wh-where's Rose?!" "In the kitchen where I last left her." "N-no, R-Rose! M-my sister!" He looks at me sadly. Doesn't say anything. He kisses my forehead softly, lingeringly. "Shh. Just breathe. Just, breathe." My sister...
***
I paced the corridors, searching for the room on the blueprints held out in front of me. The dimming light of my torch shone upon them. A chill went down my spine as I crossed into an unknown part of the labyrinth, blackness wrapping round me like an ominous cloak. I ran my fingertips along the dry serrated brick of the walls, wondering how long it had been since someone had crossed into this forbidden part of the maze. I suddenly tripped over something. Taking a step back I saw something glimmer in the torchlight. I reached down and felt my hand around a metal object. Cold. Hard. I picked it up with difficulty and caught my breath when I saw it was a pair of heavy manacles. "Oh god..." I remembered seeing Randel chain Derp up with a pair of these once. I really hoped they weren't the very same ones. I could sense the feeling of dank misery in the musty air. Muffled screams ringing through the pitch blank corridors. The distant scritch-scratching of metal on metal. I swallowed hard and pressed forward. "I have to do this...for Ian, for Derp..." I pushed my glasses further up my nose. "For Rose."

I was yet to tell her how I felt about her. I was very protective over her. She'd seen more pain and suffering than anyone should deserve to see. I knew that she wouldn't get the chance to do what I was doing. It had been challenging enough for me to get ahold of these blueprints, let alone her attempt it with Randel permanently breathing down her neck. I also knew that Ian deserved to go home. He hadn't asked for any of what had happened to him. But he had handled it better than I could've. And when Derp got a romantic interest in him, he realised he had to protect him. He'd take a huge responsibility upon him. Derp wasn't a stable person. Far from it. He'd hurt Ian more times than he'd been able to love him. It was that place I swear. That dark place where I had grown up. Where Rose had grown up. Where Derp had been dragged into and drugged, tortured, violently torn apart with blades and had needles sunk into his flesh when he dared to scream. That place turned anyone crazy who dared venture into it. I had managed to stay sane, but at a great price. The price was my nightmares I had every night. Haunting. Screaming. Clawing at my thoughts and being.

I looked up and shone my torch up in front of me. I saw a huge metal door. I reached out and touched it, seeing scratches all over the surface and bloodstains on the dusty floor. I took a deep breath and slipped my fingers into the handle and pushed it down with all my might, hearing the gears grinding hard inside. I opened it with difficulty, revealing the suffocating darkness lying behind. I gasped. This wasn't what I had been looking for...but while I was here... I took a cautious step into the area behind the door and shone my weak torch into it. My face went slack with horror at what the beam of light fell upon.
***
I reach over Derp and blow out the candle on the bedside table. In the darkness that follows I hear his faint breathing, shallow and unsure. I lean down and find his face, trailing my lips down to find his and kissing them softly. I hear a whimper in his throat and entwine my fingers in his hair, drawing away a little. "Hey, it's ok..." "I-Ian?" "Yeah?" "Why were you and Rose shouting earlier? I've never heard her shout before...and you sounded, different. I didn't like it." I bite the inside of my lip. "She was talking about escaping." "Y-you don't want to leave? I do." My heart tears apart. "D-Derp, wh-what do you remember from the outside?" "I remember sunshine. It was warm. Birds. I think they were singing. My mother used to hold me when I had nightmares...she doesn't do that anymore..." "Is that all? You don't remember the people or-?" "1991. That was the year I was born. I was taken in the year 2007 and I've been here for nearly 8 years. That's what I remember. I lived in a small village in the east somewhere. I remember watching the TV and on the BBC 1 channel they were advertising the first handheld phones. And...and..." I stare at where he is in the dark. "Where did all that come from?" "Ian...I do remember things...I just...can't say them. The words don't form right in my head and my mouth spits them out and they come out all wrong." I furrow my eyebrows in pity.

"Oh..." I feel his arms snake around me and pull me closer. I hear his breathing in my ear and shiver at the memory of his hot breath on my skin before. His cool fingers slip under the hem of my shirt and caress the skin. It reminds me of the freezing chill of the knife blade pressed flat against my neck. He leads little kisses down my neck and I feel something rising inside of me. A feeling I've never felt before. It rushes up through me and gets into my brain. I draw away, suddenly feeling a little dizzy. "Ian?" I shake a little "I-I'm fine." Derp sits up and his hands go to my midriff, the bridge of his nose resting against my forehead. "I'm fine..."

Liar.