Dark Paradise - Joel Miller x OC

Home

"It's ok Molly, you can go home.

-You sure?

-Yeah... I need to do this alone. Please."

Her hand is resting on the doorknob, but she's not quite ready to open it. It's the first time she's returning to this house they shared for so long. Even when she was going to the cemetery to visit him, she would do everything to avoid their street. But it's time for her to come home. She no longer feels comfortable with Maria. She needs her own space, to find back her memories, her home. The blonde was a little reluctant to the idea, too afraid that the young woman would try to end her life on a whim. But she couldn't really stop her.

So, with Molly by her side, Chloe made her way through the streets. A lump squeezed her stomach as soon as she saw the facade. Mountains of bouquets and papers had been placed on the porch. The knot quickly turned into a ball of boiling bile. All these flowers made her want to vomit. Why would they do that, what good in those exuberant expressions of affection? He is dead. Did they really believe that a few flowers and words saying how exceptional he was would make a difference? Her heart is on the edge of her lips, anger boiling in her veins. She just wants to come in and be alone with his ghost.

"Well. You know were to find me if you need anything.

-Actually... Could you ask someone to remove the flowers and all? I'm grateful, but it's too much."

Molly nods and pulls back, feeling that even a simple kiss on her friend's cheek would be too much of an intrusion. Chloe waits until she can't hear her footsteps any more to finally gain courage and enter the house. As the door closes behind her, silence greets her. A small part of her still believe he will appear, descending the stairs or entering the back door, logs for the fire in hand.

But after a few minutes, she has to face the facts. She is alone. The still cold sun of this early spring gives a nostalgic light to the place. A lump forms in her throat. Part of her wants to go upstairs, see their room, go to bed until the winter, hoping that by then the sadness will vanish. But she can't. Not yet.

Like a shadow, she moves towards the living room. She ignores the shelves on her left, full of his books and sculptures. She walks over to the fireplace and begins to arrange the logs in the hearth, as he has taught her. When the fire starts to catch on, she stays for a few moments to lose her gaze in the flames. Without realizing it, she automatically go settle into his chair, as she has done hundreds of times. She finds herself idle, not knowing what to do. Her world and her routines are turned upside down, and she finds herself inane. What will her life be like now?

She would like to put on a movie or music, distract her negative thoughts by drowning in one of these works. But she doesn't know what to put on. Everything reminds her of him. The ones he loved, the ones he hated. The ones they'll never see together.

She looks towards the sofa, towards the ghost of her past. To her own body which stood rigid and uncomfortable as they settled down to watch a movie when they were still only roommates. When she spent those hours throwing discreet glances at him, admiring him, observing the slightest of his reactions. Above all, she loved when they watched a movie from his childhood. Then his features relaxed, and he looked like he was ten years younger, maybe even more. It was in those moments that she discovered who he really was, behind the shell of hardened survivor. That she started to fall for him.

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"You have to get up Chloe, you can't stay in bed like this forever.

-Why?

-It's not what he wanted, and you know it.

-What does it change?! He's not here.

-You promised him.