Dark Paradise - Joel Miller x OC

Ice cream

Warning: eating disorder, physical/psychological violence, sexual allusion, drug allusion. 

Cover: Brendan Church, Unsplash.

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She clenches her fists on her legs, trying to resist the overwhelming urge to vomit that grippes her stomach. Tommy and Maria don't seem to notice, quietly discussing about their day. Her plate is steaming under her nose, the smell of the different foods adding to her ordeal. Tommy turns to her.

"You don't eat?

-It's still a bit hot for my taste. But it smells good" She lies.

"Great. You'll see, Maria is a great cook.

-No I'm not, you're just still comparing it to what you were used to in QZ."

She smiles as she listens to the couple bickering tenderly. She remembers the rationed food well, when there was any. Of course, Talia always found a way to make it better. Him, he wasn't a great cook, but he always found wonderful things to treat her. As for them... They were the ones who robbed her of the taste of food.

Since she arrived two days ago, she found all kinds of parades to avoid being at the table with her hosts. Managing the day was easy, as they're both working. All she has to do is to hide the food Maria left for her and pretend to have eaten it. At the end of the afternoon, she lies down and pretends to sleep soundly when the blonde comes upstairs to check on her.

But today, she hasn't managed to escape it. This time, she was really asleep when Maria woke her up. It was always easier to sleep during the day. When she comes out of her nightmares, light is flooding the room, chasing away any fear of still being back there. She came downstairs and already the smell of cooking lifted her heart. But she put on a good face and sat down with Tommy in the living room to chit chat.

Now she's facing this full plate. She no longer has a choice. Maybe it will be okay. She takes a bite, observes it, inhales discreetly and opens her mouth. She chews, chews again, but the food doesn't want to dissolve. It remains conglomerated into a disgusting lump in her mouth, banging between her tongue and her palate, endlessly pushed back by one or the other without wanting to descend into her. She finally manages to swallow it, a grimace twisting her face as she feels her throat tighten over this intruder sliding down to her stomach.

"You ok?" Tommy asks.

She doesn't answer and hurriedly gets up to go to the bathroom. Head over the toilet, she spits out what little she has inside. Her body is shaken with spasms as a dark bile rises, burning everything in its path. When it's finally over, she sits up and rinses her mouth. She meets Tommy's worried gaze in the mirror.

"You want to take some fresh air?"

She nods and follows the man outside. Barely out, the gentle breeze of this late summer day makes her feel good. The man sits on the steps, admiring the greenery in front of him. She approaches to sit next to him. He tries to lighten the mood.

"You have to excuse Maria. She has many qualities but is unable to stand next to someone who vomits. It makes her sick immediately. Hey, she needs to have some flaws, she would be perfect otherwise, it wouldn't be fair."

She smiles slightly at this remark. Silence slowly settles in as she focuses on her breathing, returning to normal. The nausea seems to have subsided as well.

"So... You've trouble eating? I guess it's been a long time since you got that much food in front of you. I remember in Boston, we had ration tickets, but no food was delivered. It was a mess. When Joel and Ellie arrived here, they would eat as if they were three. I swear, they must have gained a pound per meal for the first few weeks."