I rolled out of bed and clambered into the bathroom. My dark red curls fell to my elbows. They didn't need much primping. I lined my eyes with black and held off on the eyeshadow, I didn't need to look good today. I tried to find the right shadow but could never succeed, my eyes were a mix of grey, green, brown and blue. And today the also held the color red.
Great.
Sometimes it's hard to cope. But my everyday problems were trivial, today I had to push away someone who might have loved me.
**
I sat down in my and Jc's corner, taking out my phone awkwardly. I had to go about this gently, so he wasn't hurt but gruff enough to where he would understand. When Jc noticed my presence, he immediately set down his book and began to pull out two joint with a smile.
"Want one?" He offered, his pleading eyes were already blood shot.
"No" I shook my head quickly, not looking up at him.
"Hey, are you okay? Are you still stoned?" He laughed and pushed the smoke into my lips gently.
I glared at him menacingly and hit it out of my mouth, stomping it into the floor.
"You idiot! I said no! I don't want to end up some dead beat with a sign on some street corner!" I spat at him.
"Oh, sorry." his eyes softened and he bent down to pick up the remains of the weed. I knelt beside him, I should have thought about my words before just spewing them.
"I'm just gonna...." My voice trailed off as I headed to the other reading cubicle across the room.
I felt his gaze follow me, but I didn't care. I couldn't end up like my uncle. I want to be successful and throwing away dead weight, like drugs is the first step.
All of these were just justifications, I really liked Jc. I guess I'll just have to move on, no matter how much it hurt me- or him.
**
It was Thursday, only six more days of this room. And having to be near Jc this while time. Luckily I still could keep Elise up to date during lunch. But that was the only human contact I got from anyone other than then socially awkward in detention.
Elise was understanding, but I knew she still wasn't fully recovered from Ricky.
"So I heard that you and Jc were seen leaving campus..." She snapped my out of my daze.
"Um yeah, but I don't like him. I don't want to engage with him right now." i swiveled my straw between my fingers before taking a gigantic gulp of chocolate milk.
"So you're out?" She asked sounding unreliable.
"Um yeah... I guess you could say that." I was still sore about the subject and didn't really want to rub any salt in my wounds.
"So can I," she thought for a second. "Slide into that?"
"WHAT!" I yelled and stood to my feet, slamming my fists into the table loudly. Several heads turned causing my cheeks to flush. I sat back down carefully.
"JESUS." She yanked her head back. "Sorry I asked."
"What the actual fuck, Elise." I closed my eyes. "Seriously? Ricky, your 'one and only' literally died yesterday."
Elise looked down in embarrassment, "I guess I just wanted an escape."
**
Friday. It should be the happiest day of the week. Yet it was the day I dreaded the most this week.
Crap. He's looking.
Crap. He's coming over here. Kill me now.
What's he got behind his back?
