Can't Help but Love Him

Sudden Change

    Axel's room was empty, like I thought. I was always jealous of his room, I had no idea how he had gotten a desk in here. I take out my phone to check the time; it was four thirty. He should have been back by now. 

     I suddenly feel arms slide around my waist, pulling me into a tight hug. 

     "Oh God- Axel you scared me!" I say, pushing away from him. He wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. 

     "I have a C plus in pre-calculus," He muffled. "The teacher made me stay behind." 

    "At least it's a passing grade?" I offered, patting his head. He growls, pushing me backwards on the bed. 

     "Wait! Do you want me to get you a biscuit? I've been meaning to get a new one anyway." I say, sitting up. 

     "Not the ones you get. They're dry and crumble too easily." He complained, coming to sit on the bed with me. 

     "Biscuits it is, then." I say, rolling onto my back. He leans over me, slowly pressing his lips against mine. 

     "Where are you going for spring break?" I asked softly, feeling the warmth of his face. 

     "My mom wants me to come back home... but I think I'll just stay here." He sighs.

     "Stay. Don't go back to America." I demand, propping myself up on my elbows. He pushes me back down, smashing our lips together. I didn't even try to fight him, I just wrapped my arms around him as he climbed on top of me.

     "J-Jason?" Says a staggering voice from the door.

   Axel quickly lets go of me, pulling me up after him. James slowly backed up, a frightened look on his face.

     "Wait, James-"

     "Don't talk to me! You w-w-weirdo!" He says, running out of the room and the hallway. My heart stopped, and I started to run after him before Axel caught my arm.

     "Let go of me!" I yell, yanking my arm from him. I Immediately regret it, but the thought of James knowing about us l made my stomach turn.

     "I-I'm sorry, just let me go after him." I muttered, sprinting out the door.

     I pushed the door open to the stairway, and heard his footsteps hurrying away from me. "James, just wait a second!" I shout, heading down the stairs after him. 

     He stops at the door, slowly turning around to face me. I cautiously approach him, hands in the air. 

     "You... what were you two..?" he stuttered, awkwardly backing away from me. 

     "Could you please not tell anyone? I'll do anything. Just don't say anything, I'm begging you." I plead, walking towards him. He backs up against the door, looking away from me.

     "Jason, could you just... give me a while? To let me think." He trembles, slowly opening the door to leave. I just watched him go, starting to panic. If he told anyone, my life would be turned upside down. Charlie, Owen and Gorge wouldn't even come near me, my Uncle would kick me out, our family business would plummet with me in charge.

     I sat down on the stairs, stunned. My head was spinning, and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I felt around my pockets for my phone, but I froze when I realized I had left it in Axel's room. Oh my God.

     Guilt spread throughout my body as I remembered the look on his face. How could I have been so selfish about this? I had just left him. He had gone through this all before, he had even lost his relationship with his dad. Here I was, worried about what other people thought, when he had risked everything a second time just to be with me. 

     I stood up, running back up the stairs. His door was still open, and I couldn't hear anything coming from his room. I peeked my head in the doorway, looking around for him. 

     "Hey, Axel?" I say, slowly walking into his room. I saw my phone and bag on his desk, where I had thrown them. It had taken me a while to realize that he wasn't here, and my guilt only grew. 

     I got my things, and made my way back to my dorm. Maybe he was waiting there? No, I couldn't think like that. He had every reason too be mad at me, I didn't even deserve to see him. Sure enough, he wasn't in my room. I felt stupid for hoping that he was. 

     My body started to shake, and I slowly sat down on the floor. I pulled in my knees, putting my head in between them. What if I had just lost everyone I ever cared about? I had these amazing relationships with my friends, with Axel. I could have at least stayed with him. I shouldn't have run away. I shouldn't have.

     Tears silently rolled down my cheeks, even though I had tried my hardest to stop them. I had promised myself, no crying. Even after Mom and Dad died, I said that was going to be the last time. So why...?