Can't Help but Love Him

Healing

     It was depressing to see what little power I truly had. I was walking away from the person I loved. There was nothing I could do of course, I had been defeated before the fight even began.

     And of course, I didn't want to hurt Aurora. That was a part my Uncle had smartly relied on. He wasn't going to tell her I wouldn't marry her, that would be something I'd have to say to her face. He knew I couldn't do that. 

     I called an Uber back to the Airport, and went to the desk to register a flight home. Axel was wasn't lying, when I told them my name they said he had gotten me ticket. It pained me beyond belief to walk from the gate to the plane, knowing where I was going and who I was leaving.

     We took off, and I watched the ground get further and further away from us. I looked down at the clump of skyscrapers we flew over, a hot tear running down my cheek. 

     The flight seemed even longer than usual, and it took nine hours. When we landed in London, it was late in the morning. I was already exhausted; besides my nap I had been awake a good twenty-four hours. I had another Uber drive me from the airport while I was half-asleep, deciding I would deal with my problems later.

     The house yard seemed quieter then usual. I had faced the loneliness before knowing I'd see Axel at the end of break. Now I had nothing. 

     I fell down face-first on my couch, burying myself in the pillows. My head pounded fiercely, causing a subtle ringing in my ears. I needed to think about something else, anything else. How many times had broken that promise to myself? Don't cry. Don't cry. He told me not to cry.

     No matter how hard I tried to push it back, the self-deprecating thoughts returned. I should've tried harder. I shouldn't have left without a plan. I really was a failure, sitting on my couch while Axel was probably getting emotionally and maybe even physically abused again by his father. I grit my teeth, and buried my head deeper within the cushions.

     My head pounded harder now felt abnormally hot. I hadn't been awake for this long for a while, so it could've been some side effects. I had some cold medicine in the kitchen cupboard, but my body wouldn't move. It felt heavy and hot, like a useless bolder.

     Tears were pouring endlessly down my face now, I really couldn't help it. I shut my eyes tight, and endured the intense pulsing pain. It felt like this was it, like I was dying. 

     A small part of me heard the front door creak open, but not enough for me to question it. Then suddenly, an ice cold hand slide onto my forehead. It almost immediately defused the heat, like cool water poured over a raging fire. 

     I then felt my head rest on someone's lap, and their soft hands stroke the side of my face.

     "You should call me when you get sick like this. I'll be your wife soon, after all." She murmured, continuing to pet down my hair.

     "I'm sorry." I managed, closing my eyes. 

     "Is there a reason you're crying?" She asked, wiping my tears.

     "It just... It really hurts." Which wasn't a lie in the least, the entire situation hurt. She rests my head on a pillow, then rummages around in my kitchen. 

     "Can you swallow a pill? It looks like you have bottled water to swallow it with." She says, coming back over to me.

     "No, no Fiji water. I don't like Fiji water." I mumble.

     "Then why do you have so much of it?" She asks, pouring it into a tiny cup. "Here, say 'Ah'."

     I painfully swallowed it, taking a light sip afterwards. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry about me." 

     "You're always worrying about me, taking care of me even when I didn't need it. Let me do the same for you." She insisted, putting her cool hand back on my forehead.

     I didn't want to admit it, but it felt nice. It calmed me down. Having someone to talk to was helpful too, my thoughts couldn't consume me that way.

     Aurora stayed with me until later that night, and she'd made homemade soup. She was probably the only person I'd tolerate being with me at the moment. She didn't ask complicated questions, she just took care of me.

     "I'm leaving now. Call me if you become to sick for our get-together on Wednesday, but I'd really like to talk to you about the Wedding sometime soon. I can't choose for the color theme." She says, slipping on her shoes.

     "R-Right. Thank you, Aurora." I mumbled, sipping on my soup.

     I couldn't see clearly, but I caught a glimpse of red lightly spread across her face.

     "Don't die until then." She orders, closing the door behind her.