A flame ignited deep within his chest. It ignited in Charlie every time he looked at Maverick, eyes lighting up as his worries and problems melted away. He couldn't help the way the corners of his mouth tugged upwards into a shy smile before transforming into a lopsided grin, always lovestruck by his intoxicating presence. Mav's gaze could hold him steady in a storm, for nothing else mattered besides him.
Charlie allowed his heart to beat for the sole purpose of being with Maverick. But right now, standing face to face, something was different. There was a small crack in their foundation. It was nothing they couldn't fix. But they hadn't caught it early, and now their life together was in the firm grasp of fate's unforgiving hands.
Charlie reached for Maverick's arm but he pulled harshly away. A blinding white anger coursed through his veins and through every syllable he uttered toward Charlie. "I want you to leave."
Charlie shook his head slowly out of confusion, taking another shy step toward him. His question came out raspy, eyes softening with concern. "Why?"
Maverick clenched his fists to his sides, refusing to look at him. His jaw tightened. "You thought you were out of the woods, but I know. I know you cheated on me."
Charlie's expression turned dark, his heart sinking as a dull ache began to present itself in his head.
"I didn't-"
"Bullshit!" He pushed him in the chest, and Charlie's back slammed against the living room wall. Maverick pinned his wrists against the wall, body shaking with a fury ignited by the cruel act of betrayal. Mav couldn't help the way his voice cracked through his clenched teeth. "Don't fucking lie to me."
The flame in Charlie's chest dimmed. He looked at him with watery eyes, willfully subjecting himself to whatever Maverick wanted to do to him.
His nails dug into his wrists. "Say what you did," he growled.
Charlie pressed his lips together into a thin line, averting his gaze to the floor as a new kind of fire surged through him. It was in his stomach, twisting it up into knots and clawing up his throat. It was all over his skin, making every part of him burn with guilt and shame. His palms were sweating, and he couldn't seem to focus much past the ringing between his ears.
Maverick slammed him hard against the wall again, screaming through the tears blurring his vision. "Say it!"
Charlie bit his lower lip, heart breaking into pieces at the pain he was causing him. The pain he had spent so long trying to make sure he'd never see. There was anger in his eyes, but beyond that there was uncertainty. There was fear. Maverick didn't want it to be true. He prayed it wasn't.
His voice was faint, face flushed as he stared at the ground. "One night Mav. It was one night, and it was months ago."
He froze, fingers loosening their deadly grip around Charlie's wrists. So it was true. His world seemed to become like sand in his pathetic clutch, every grain sliding through his trembling fingers until there was nothing left of it.
He took a step back from Charlie. Then another.
"Get out."
"Mav, please." He reached forward and grabbed his arm. "You know I love you, you have to know that. We can fix this."
Charlie's vision was blurring round the edges. He felt like this was a nightmare he couldn't shake himself out of. He wanted to scream, kick down the walls, and break out of his sleep. But it was all too real standing here in front of Mav. A shaky, broken, worn out Mav.
He pressed on, his clutch tightening around Maverick's arm. "If you ever loved me, you'd forgive me."
Charlie's sight started to give a little more. Now it was as if he was looking through a fogged up windshield on a rainy day, but here the rain was black and pierced like needles. "Please, I need to hear you say it. Please Mav."
Maverick looked at Charlie's grip on his arm with disgust, once again yanking away from him. His eyes were hot and stinging as he looked at Charlie. His torn apart love. Neither of them could fix this, the damage had already been done.
"Months ago," he mumbled with distaste. "How do you live with yourself?"
Charlie wanted to open his mouth, to say anything to get him out of this. But his throat felt as red and raw as his eyes did, every fiber in his being wanting just to be in Mavs hands again. Whether that meant they were laying on the couch or Charlie was pinned against a wall, he didn't care. He just wanted to feel his touch. His touch, whether out of love or anger, meant he hadn't left him.
Charlie's voice trembled as he shoved one of his hands into his pocket, the other roughly combing through his messy hair. "I made a mistake. I felt guilty everyday, I still do. But I didn't want to see the pain in your eyes knowing that I was the one who caused it. I wanted to protect you."
Maverick felt the heat rising in his face. What he was feeling right now was the kind of disappointment and resentment that made you want to fall apart. The kind of feeling that made every word difficult to say because your throat was tightening up, every second standing in front of the person who caused it becoming increasingly more painful to bare.
"You don't get to create the problem and then act like you solved it too. You don't get to play the hero."
"Then tell me what to do Mav," his words tumbled out as he stood as close to him as Maverick would let him. "I'll fix this."
They were both breathing heavily, eyes locked on each other with a solemn silence eluding over them. Maverick didn't want to be mad at him. He wanted to curl up in bed and cry, but he wanted Charlie there to comfort him. To tell him it was all going to be okay. Nothing was wrong.
Without another moment's hesitation Mav grabbed onto his shirt and pulled Charlie's face towards him, eyes screwed shut in a weak attempt to block out his tears as he kissed him slowly. At first Charlie held his breath, remaining rigid. But after that first moment he gave in and followed foot, kissing him with an aching desire to never stop.
When they pulled apart a new light of clarity struck through Maverick. He looked into Charlie's cloudy eyes, studied how his face was paler than usual, how he was slightly swaying where he stood as if ready to pass out any moment.
"I'll tell you what to do Charlie," he murmured, hand grazing the side of Charlie's face before falling back to his side. He wasn't angry anymore, simply decided. "You can get the hell out of my house."
Maverick had snuffed out the flame with one simple blow.
And Charlie knew he'd never recover.
