*this Liam is not associated with the one from the other book...I just like the name and couldn't think of anything else*
Jake and Liam had just pulled up into Liam's driveway after a day of walking around town. They had no plans going into it but managed to make the most out of every moment regardless. Liam snatched up the mail before they headed inside, casually tossing it onto the counter with his keys.
Jake grabbed a bowl of snacks before they both settled onto the couch, about to watch whatever they could find on Netflix.
But when Jake opened it up, he saw that Liam had cancelled his account. He turned to him.
"You don't have Netflix anymore?"
Liam averted his eyes, scratching the back of his neck. "I wasn't using it that much," he mumbled softly in return.
Jake could sense there was something else he wasn't saying but he let it drop. "Okay, well what movie do you want to watch?"
"I don't know, you can pick." It was as if his mood had changed in the blink of an eye. Where was the happy careless person from earlier?
Jake landed on one he liked. It was for rent for $3.99. He pushed the snack bowl towards Liam and stood up. "I left my wallet in your car, I'll be right back." He nodded in return, picking aimlessly through the snacks but never actually eating any of it.
Jake wore an uneasy expression as he made his way to the kitchen counter. He reached for the keys, but not before he could stop his wondering eyes from landing on an envelope.
He picked it up.
"Why do you have a hospital bill?"
Liam became on full alert, he looked over with wide, deer-like eyes at the envelope in Jake's hands. He tried to keep his manner calm and uncaring. "I-it's nothing. It's from awhile ago."
Jake called bullshit. He began to open it.
"Don't you fucking dare-"
But it was too late, the paper was in his hands now. The damage had been done. Liam stood up, slowly walking towards him until he was a couple feet away.
"W-why didn't you tell me?" Jake tried to keep his emotions in line but it was difficult. Near impossible even. He was standing upright but at any moment he knew he'd collapse. The faint ringing in his ears was making him unbalanced, his whole world had just been turned upside down.
Liam looked at his watery eyes, the way he tightened his jaw to try to keep it together. "I didn't want to hurt you," his words came out barely above a whisper.
Jake took a step forward, his trembling fingers finding contact with Liam's slender wrist. He wrapped both hands around it, scared of what would happen if he let go. "I could have been there for you. Through the appointments a-and chemo..."
Liam hated the way people gave him sympathetic looks and that nonverbal "there there," when he was in the hospital. But Jake wasn't doing that. He was completely distressed.
Liam's eyes danced over the softening features of his face. Jake's eyebrows were creased in concern, he had drawn in his bottom lip to keep from breaking down. He was still clutching onto Liam's wrist.
"Jake...I didn't want to see you like this. It upsets me." He gently pulled his hand away, leaving Jake to find comfort in shoving his shaking hands into his pants pockets.
"See me like what? Caring?" He didn't mean to choke out the last word, but breathing evenly was becoming more and more difficult.
"No. Hurting."
"So what, you were just going to keep this a secret forever? Fight this alone?"
"I'm not fighting it," he gritted his teeth, hands clenched by his sides.
"What does that mean?"
"It means I'm not..." he took in a deep breath of air. "I'm not doing chemo."
"What? Liam you have to. You have-"
"No." His voice broke the air. "It's not worth it, not at this point."
Jake's hands found their way to the counter. He gripped it as hard as he could to keep himself upright. "You mean you didn't tell me because... you're dying. Is that right?"
He nodded and looked away, unable to control the tears flowing from his eyes. He wasn't sad for himself as much as he was for Jake.
Jake rushed over to him, grabbing and pulling him into a hug. He guided his head into his shoulder. "It's okay Liam," his voice was soft and soothing despite how much of a mess he felt on the inside.
"I'm breaking you," he choked out. "Every day I'm breaking you and then even after I'm d-"
"Hey," Jake stopped him. Partially because he didn't want to hear him say it, but also because he wanted to stop him from spiraling. He held him at arms length. "Don't worry about me. I'll be okay."
He placed a hand on either side of his face, using his thumbs to swipe away his tears in one motion. He moved his hands back onto his shoulders, firmly holding on. "I will be okay," he said it again, trying to convince both of them. "Honest."
"That's what you're supposed to say. It doesn't make me feel any better."
"What would make you feel better?"
He thought about it. "Just...don't look at me different."
"I won't. You're still the same person Liam. Do you look at yourself different?"
Liam furrowed his eyebrows. "I mean to an extent...I'm not the same. I'll never be who I was."
Jake shook his head. "No, you're right. You can't be the same."
They locked eyes. "You're so much stronger now."
