after the end - timothée chalamet & marcus baker

17

my perception of love was always messed up. felt like i was sometimes the reason for forced love, having parents only being together because of you and being the blame for an unhappy relationship. i promised myself that was never going to happen. i promised myself that i was going to love someone because i loved them and not because i had to.

i never realized the other mishaps, what else can possibly happen when you love someone, death stopped it all.
killed the one i loved most.

by a drunk driver.

"more soil!" charlie demands, patting the soil into the ground. i hand him more, i dance along the garden playfully with riley as if we were fairies, granting wishes going from place to place. the weather was very cold, so we wore jackets. libby stayed inside, still asleep avoiding the weather outdoors.

"when will it grow?" i asked charlie.

"it's an iris flowers." charlie pate the dirt into the ground. "about two maybe three weeks." he says.

"seems like such a long time!" i grunted.

"i know but— i just cannot wait till i get to see it bloom." charlie smiled. "it's going to be wonderful."

gardening brought peace to charlie, every morning he would be at the garden. cleaning, harvesting to keep his mind off of reality.

i feel marcus hands run from behind my waist as he pulls me in gently, i turn to look at him. i softly touch my index finger on his perfect small nose. "go away." i say jokingly.

"i'm gonna take you with me, if i go." he says, he throws me over his shoulder as i hit his back playfully.

"down!" i yelled with fear and laughters.

he carries me outside the back of the house where we were closer to the woods, alone with just him and i.

"what?" i laughed looking up at him.

"beautiful." marcus says, pushing my hair behind my ears as he admires me. i become quickly self conscious and cover my face with my selves, pushing him away gently.

"enough joking around— charlie needs me." i walk away, but he holds my arm stopping me from moving.

"fate." i can feel the insides of my stomachs being tickled almost like i knew what was coming. "i like you more than a friend." he says.

"friends?" i blank out.

"more, like a couple." he explains.

"couples." i repeated like i couldn't hear it clearly for the first time, it felt too unreal.

"mhm." he says, he looks away from my eyes seeing how conflicted i probably looked. but i knew i wanted him.

"kiss me already." i laughed, he pulls my face in and we kissed affectionately.

"love me already." he says.

"love you."

—

it was three in the afternoon which meant libby needed to eat, she hated breakfast and refused to eat because of how much nausea it made her feel so i didn't bother going into her room and giving her any.

i knock on the door before walking in. "libs." i say softly. "we only have bread in the pantries but i left butter on the side and i know you hate peas so you don't have to worry about that." i walk into her room.

she doesn't speak or move out from her bed, i pull a chair placing it beside her bed, waiting for to her get out from under her sheets.

"libby.." i say again, placing her food on the night table, waiting for her response.

the cold air slowly makes its way through the room leaving chills down my shine, the windows were left opened. i go over to close it rushing back to libby removing the blanket over her.

no flicker of life. no light. she was pale, i held her in my arms and cried, burying my head into her chest. one of her lifeless arms fall from the side of the bed, her head leaned back with her eyes closed. "please wake up libs." i cried. "you're all i have, i was suppose to protect you." i lay the side of my face to find a heart beat, there weren't any, she was freezing cold.

begging her to stay with me but i knew she couldn't be saved.

i eventually let go, not remembering how. my scream and criers being so loud someone was brought up by the sound. marcus walks in, he placed his hand over his mouth, his eyebrows were lowered and pulled together. he couldn't even speak or see that this was actually real, that libby was gone. with tears rolling down his eyes silently.

he clings onto her arm, trying to reassure her back to life but we all knew it was far too late.

i stand there in disbelief, my body wonders somewhere, still weeping into more tears. i could no longer watch this happen. i cry in the corner of the room begging libby to come back to me.

nothing would bring her back.

my best friend was gone.