Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
the bright lights reflected on timothée green eyes, although no one was there i still felt a bit of life. like everything was back to normal. the big ferris wheel, the stands of games and those water games.
i smiled, walking towards the carousel.
"marcus i want a bunny!" she looks over at the stands filled with bears.
"i'll take riley over there." marcus suggested.
"if you lose her, i will end you. we clear." timothée confirms.
"jeez, you got it." marcus gave an odd look. "riley let's get going kid." they walked on the boardwalk trying to find her a stuffed bunny.
"and don't feed her candy. nothing! she has an allergy. i'm warning you." timothée adds.
timothée presses the button to activate the carousel, he jumps onto the moving surface, holding his hand out so i can get on. i sit across from him as he stays standing while i sit on the pony.
"why'd you take me here?" i asked.
"you said you missed the carnival." he says, he lights a cigarette, as i gazed at the entire carnival and the bright light of colors, resting my head on the ride.
"can you—nevermind." i stopped talking.
"say it." he throws the cigarette onto the ground.
"can you come on the ferris wheel with me?"
"no—you're funny." he rolled his eyes.
i paused thinking i said something wrong. "why not?"
"nothing i just don't want to."
"are you afraid of heights?" i hold a laugh.
"no—yes, no...why does it matter to you? huh." he gets offended fast.
"hey!" i throw my hands up. "don't be such a wuss." i jump off the carousel to get onto the ferris wheel.
he pressed the button, as we watched it go round and round slowly. "i'm not wuss." he says to prove me wrong. he quickly gets onto the ferris as he scoots so i can sit beside him.
"see it's not so bad, look down." i say.
"no." he keeps a straight face. he begins to play with my hair again and braid it unconsciously.
"you are nervous!" i laughed.
"how would you know?"
"you always play with my hair when your nervous, i don't think you seem to notice but i have."
he moves his hands away and slowly look down, holding his breath. i knew he had fears in his eyes as he quickly look back up.
"holy fuck—we're high." he says.
"it's okay!" i pat his back jokingly. "wait—"
"what fate! what is it!" he says anxiously.
"how do we stop the ride—the operation machine is down there." my eyes widen.
he laughs as i laughed even harder. "this is ridiculous! i should've never gone up with you!" he chuckled, laying his head back.
"whatever happened to wherever you go, i go."
"oh—it's still there because i did end up going on this shit of a ride with you. nearly pissed myself." he laughed.
"shut up!" i couldn't contain my smile, it felt like a long time where i smiled, it felt so wholesome.
watching the entire world die out but him finding some sort of peace, saved me.
"okay but let's be serious for a moment—how do we stop the ride."
he thinks for a moment. "guess we have to jump a feet above ground." he smiled.
we waited to nearly touch surface, he jumps off first as i jump next. i lose balance and fall on top of him.
"ouch."
"what is up with you always falling!" his cheeks turn red as he holds my waist gently, to get back up.
"i'm clumsy, i'm sorry."
still laying on top of him with him and i looking at each other with a shy relief. i can feel something between us, almost powerful. the most powerful connection in the world.
i wanted to kiss him, i move closer but he stops me.
he looks away. "don't do this right now." getting up, brushing his pants off.
"do what?"
he paused. "just promise you won't love me. ever. please."
"gosh." i mumbled, my demeanor changed completely. "how could i ever love someone as bipolar as you."
"i'm not."
"you are." i say. "listen i don't love you, okay."
"good. because you have your reason not to love someone and i have mines." he says sternly, no longer looking at me.
"what's my reason?" i asked, with frustration on my face.
"you have a dead boyfriend and you don't believe you'll love again." he says.
"then what's your reason huh?" i say with more anger.
"you don't have to know my reason fate." he walks, leaving me behind. "let's go, it's time to go."
