Finally...Us [BTSxReader]

Chapter 44

"Thank you for notifying me, sir. Have a good day. Good-bye!" M's voice echoed through her room, a forced smile painted on her face like there was someone in there to see how she looked while she talked on the phone.

The sound of the click on her phone as she ended the phone-call sounded sadder than ever, and she slumped against her bedframe, an exhausted sigh leaving her mouth. She was burning out from extensive research for her papers, the over-demanding classes, and now she was notified she has to find someone to practice under before the winter vacation. Not only that, but she still had to do a paper for Monday, and research about other stuff as well, while now looking for what she needed to prepare to undergo practice and whom to apply to.

If that wasn't enough on a Friday afternoon, tomorrow was her birthday and for the first time in years, she was spending it alone. After Yoongi, Kiki, and Jin graduated, Lexy went abroad to study, and she was left alone to be a support pillar for the remaining people of the group. She did not mind it in the beginning, she knew how sad Taehyung was just by looking at him, also Kookie becoming captain of the basketball team was not a surprise, so she understood he had other duties. The most surprising was NamJoon's new relationship, but so far, it seemed to last. But due to that happening, she could not confide in her friend as before due to him being busy with dates and spending time with his girlfriend. Rachel was not a bad girl, she was smart, nice, mature, and from the looks of it, she would graduate at the top of her class. M was happy for NamJoon, that he finally found someone good enough for him, but at the same time, she wondered how come he did not learn anything from the past relationships, at least in how he treats his friends. Felix and Chan did try spending more time with her, but they both were busy with another theater project that they agreed to do, and this time she wanted nothing to do with it.

Last year of college, and it was only the end of October, and she was already feeling her body functioning on mere stress. Her brain seemed about to explode from the number of things she wanted to cram in there. She wanted to talk to Kiki or Lexy, and just grumble about stuff, but one was busy with work, the other was not as reachable as before due to timezone. Yoongi and Jin were just as busy, and when she was on the phone with either of them, she could not handle stressing them out with whatever was on her mind when they were either happily telling her about something at their job, or seeing them just as tired and stressed as her over something they needed to do. So, in the end, she swallowed all her complaints from everyone, not wanting to put more on their plate than what they had to eat, and she smiled. That smile became so frozen onto her face, it now hurt to let it fall, and to reveal her true feelings.

This Friday afternoon, after that phone call, it seemed like the last drop of stress broke her mental state, and slumping against the bed frame, she let her stress out by crying. It still felt not enough for her, that even the pillow on her bed became a victim and got flung across the room, hitting the empty wall on the other side. Seeing it slide down the wall did nothing to appease her, neither did the salty tears falling down her cheeks like the dam behind her eyes broke, releasing non-stop the frustration and tears of anger and sadness. She wished that could help her go through this period of time, that it would magically bring someone to her, and tell her they were by her side to help her through everything. But no such magic feat ever happened, and she was left alone on her bedroom floor, crying until she felt numb and empty.

In the end, she fell asleep on the floor, her window open, letting in the chilly evening wind, which she did not mind as it was the only caress her heated cheeks felt after that crying session. Slowly, her eyes closed, and she welcomed the numbing effects of sleep, wishing she could sleep until the graduation ceremony happened. The only sound in her room was her slow breathing, her chest rising and falling with every breath she took, the floor feeling cool for her feverish skin. As much as the soft bed tempted her to get in there for more comfort, she felt her body ache too much for wanting to move, so the floor became her designated bed. She could only hope her dreams would bring more happiness to her life than how reality was.