Finally...Us [BTSxReader]

Chapter 22

"The fuck? Who made you cry?" came Lexy's voice as she saw M hiding in the shadows of some trees, crying alone. One look at her face and Lexy knew who it was, and before M could stop her, the red-haired screamed for the tall crab enthusiast to show himself. She breathed in once to calm herself, knowing she should not run headfirst without an explanation, but he had it coming from day one of getting drunk. It did not matter if he helped her out or not, he made her friend cry one too many times.

Kiki came running as she heard Lexy's voice, and before the red-haired woman could go kick some ass, she stopped her, asking her what happened. M ran after them, telling them to do nothing rash, saying it was not his fault, explaining what she just did. Both girls were looking at M, not understanding what part she just said was not NamJoon's fault, but they almost clapped as she told them about the slap. In the end, neither did anything, sighing as they wondered how did their trip just go downhill like that. M was glad she did nothing to tell them about what she just saw after the game. She decided not to tell them, not now, maybe never, or they would actually go use him as a punching bag.

"In the end, we need to do something to get your mind off this, M. Maybe a game or something?" Lexy asked, suddenly too tired to try and think about anything. She was busy trying to keep her instincts of punching him at bay.

"How about we just go to bed? And don't tell the others I was crying, ok?" M said, already standing up and walking to the tents. She was emotionally tired by everything going on these past two weeks. And now that she just got everything off her chest, she felt numb. And dizzy, and scared about how this was going to affect her future, not only with NamJoon as friends, even with herself.

The girls said nothing, just watched her walk away, planning to find NamJoon and beat him up until he begged for forgiveness. But looking at her back as she was walking, they both sent their guys a text, saying they were tired and heading to bed earlier, and walked after M, laying on her sides, hugging her. In the end, they all fell asleep like that, each thinking about how tomorrow was going to be.

"Psst, M" a voice whispered outside the girl's tent, and the girl in question stood up, looking at the shadow on the tent.

She fell asleep quickly but woke up even quicker, just decided not to move from her spot, enjoying the hugs. Of course, NamJoon's voice during the middle of the night had to spoil her good mood, bringing her back to reality, making her remember exactly what happened before she went to bed. She sighed, crawling carefully outside the tent, looking at NamJoon as he got up and signaled for her to follow him. Neither said nothing, and M followed, a few steps behind him, looking at the footsteps he left in the sand. In the end, he took her to the shore, not far from where the bonfire was.

Stopping at his side, both looked at the moon in the sky, stars sparkling close by here and there. The sea was calm, just a bit of wind here and there.

"Marie, I will be honest with you" NamJoon finally said, inhaling the salty air by the sea. "I like you."

That one sentence sent M tumbling down the hill she just fought to climb, and she felt her heart stop. Whether it was a good sign or not, she did not know just yet. Was she supposed to react somehow to it? Say something? She could only look dumbfounded at his profile, still looking out to the sea.

"I really like you. My first girlfriend ended things with me because I called her by your name once. It was the first sign, but I ignored it" he continued, hands clasped at his back, standing straight, the imposing profile of someone demanding your entire attention. "But, all my life, I have been told what kind of woman I should have by my side. I have been told I deserve only the best, in all departments. So, I crushed the thought of us together, of everything that had to do with romanticizing you, and I continued being your best friend. Because, in my mind, I could only hear those voices, whispering those words." he exhaled, wondering how to continue.

M was stuck between wanting to punch him herself or let him continue talking.

"In the end, that became what I projected. You could never be more than my best friend" he said, and her heart cracked just a tiny bit more, the imaginary knife stabbing her once more.

"You are too cruel," she said, voice cracking, the hurt palpable in her tone.

"I..wanted to see you only like that," he said, turning to look at her, eyes darkened as his gaze settled on her. It was mesmerizing, forcing her to stare into his eyes, like a snake hypnotizing its prey to come willingly into his mouth. "But, whenever Yoongi comes near you, I just want to keep you hidden from him, just to myself, and no one else" he confesses, and she wants to laugh, out of spite.

"That's why you stuck your tongue down the 'group project', huh?" she finally let out a humorless laugh. He froze in whatever he wanted to say, realizing she saw them that night.

"I...she jumped on me," he said, flinching as even to his ears it sounded like excuses. "There is nothing between us" he settled on saying just that, not knowing exactly if he meant between himself and M, or the other girl. "Marie, listen here. I like you, I know I want to somehow keep you away from all guys, if possible, but no matter how much I want it all, this" he stopped to point between themselves " Us, we could never work, and we both know it" he said in the end.

She said nothing, not wanting to cry again, to ask him why won't he just give them a chance to see if it was true or not. He was right, her logic screamed at her, and she kept quiet.

"I would always want to change you to fit what everyone tells me to be and have, even if I did accept you now as you are. You know I strive for nothing more than perfection. And you would accept me as I am, you would change for me, you would lose yourself, and always find faults in yourself for me. In the end, you would not be you, and we would lose each other in faults and arguments, and fights. We would lose even the tiniest bit of friendship between us, and we would hate each other. And, Marie, believe me, I don't want you to hate me. So, punch me, hit me, kick me for hurting you, for breaking your heart. Call me names, avoid me until your heart heals, but don't stop being my friend. Because I can afford to lose a few months from your life, I can survive, as long as you come back as my friend, as my best friend even. Because I do not want to change you, I don't want to lose you." he finally stops talking, his own eyes filling with unshed tears, looking away before they could spill.

He spoke his mind, told her the truth he was holding into his heart, and he was ready for her to rebuke him in either manner. What he was not ready for was her looking at him, eyes clear as she looked at him, not through him, and smiling.

"Thank you for being honest, NamJoon" M said, turning around, walking like she just got drunk and could not see the path in front of her. Maybe it was the tears in her eyes, maybe it was the pain in her chest, maybe it was the weight of his words settling into her mind and heart. She was honest when she thanked him for being honest with her, which did not mean it hurt any less. But she wanted to be alone, to think and to assess everything he told her, and figure out how to continue with her life.

NamJoon could only look after his best friend as she walked once more away from him, and he wondered if he did well in telling her how he actually felt. But as he rubbed the wrist where Yoongi caught him, twisting until his taller form dropped halfway in height due to pain, he remembered the basketball player's words of wisdom, and he sighed.

"You better make her happy, Yoongi, or I will make you pay double for this" he whispered to no one, just the moon his only witness. Now he could only hope the same moon would light all their path forward, so they could all walk towards happiness.