Finally...Us [BTSxReader]

Chapter 27

"You thought what?" M started laughing when she heard what her two friends thought, and seeing their sad expressions made her laugh harder. "My god, no, no, that kid could never make me wear a dress for a date with him" she chuckled as her laughing fit subsided, the need for air stopping her from laughing.

Lexy and Kiki looked confused at her, both their eyebrows furrowed, shock, and anger still seeping from their auras. They almost demanded an explanation from M, but she beat them to it.

"The dress is for ...umm, let's say, a project of mine. It will be a surprise ok, so I can't say more than that. Also, everyone from the bus will be part of the surprise, kind of?" she started vaguely explaining, trying not to give too much of her secret project.

The girls wanted to keep pestering her about details, but she seemed set on not telling them at all, finally relaxing enough to giggle when M started laughing again as she remembered everyone thought she was dating that guy.

"Geez, can't believe you thought I was dating...pffft, hahaha" she could not finish her sentence, laughing with her entire body until she collapsed into the chair next to her. "Anyways, haaah, welcome back to the dorms, nothing changed, we just have some new faces on the first two floors, maybe on the third as well, I don't know yet" she continued talking, before standing up, going to their side and putting an arm over their shoulders, bringing them closer to her. "Missed you girls so much, even though we chatted daily on the phone" she finished her talk.

"Aww, you clingy panda" Kiki hugged her side, Lexy turning to them and going in for a group hug. "But you still owe us some kind of explanation" she continued, pinching M's cheeks the same way the blonde guy did.

"I will...when the surprise is out, or sooner, we shall see how everyone in the group agrees on that matter" M said, again trying to escape the questioning, running away from the hug when they tried asking for more info.

"At least tell us who the blonde kid was, M. Should we worry about Yoongi?" Lexy asked, watching M's posture or gestures for any giveaway. She wanted Taehyung to be there and do those micro gesture readings, and see if M was lying or hiding anything.

"Worry...about Yoongi?" M asked, not fully understanding why her talking to the guy had anything to do with Yoongi until the light turned on in her brain and she had to roll her eyes at what Lexy implied. "You two are still going on with that? One guy acts nice, like a human being should act, and suddenly, I am getting married to him?" M asked, just a tiny bit annoyed.

She had tons of time during the summer vacation to think everything over. The situation with NamJoon left her scarred and scared to put her heart out there again. All those feelings, even though faded, were still lingering around, reminding her about the pain. Even now, whenever she met NamJoon, she did not know how to be back to her old self around him. She could be polite and do a casual conversation about their families, or weather, or school. But deep down, she felt herself trying to run away from facing the elephant in the room. Seeing him around their group still twisted the knife in her heart, her brain replaying the words he said to her, but she did not want to alienate him. He told her the truth, cut the roots clean, even if she bled her soul and heart out. And she understood him. The pain he brought upon her now was slightly lesser than what would have happened if he never was honest with her. It still hurt all the same.

And then the girl's group chat was filled with fun pictures from their vacation days and they kept casually adding Yoongi in their talks. She knew what they were up to. In a way, she wanted to believe them, but most of herself was not ready to believe anything or do anything about it. Fear wrecked chaos into her heart, and she could only ignore all the flags her friends were raising to point in Yoongi's direction. After careful consideration, more like an afterthought than anything else, she would maybe give it a try, remembering the sandcastle day, remembering just how Yoongi always treated her, always being there for her. But, was she ready? Was Yoongi ready after his last relationship? Would HE want HER? So the last days of her summer vacation were spent burying herself in books and project ideas to get her mind away from everything. And when she got the opportunity to leave her city faster, to return to the dorms earlier, she took it without thinking or asking anyone. She wanted to run away, and maybe figure everything else out on her own.

Tough luck on her side, she never did. She was still as hurt, just as lost and confused as before. But she still had some luck on her side, and she met the group from the bus, as they were freshmen, and some people from the older years. And she threw herself in this surprise project, wanting to help herself out of her thinking ice-cave and to also help herself with her own major, as the project was indirectly tied to it. So she followed what the others did or advised her to do during rehearsals, and kept her mouth shut, wondering if her friends would like it or not. And then, after the surprise project would be over, maybe she would have her answer to what she was looking for. If not, at least, she tried something new, and it was actually kind of relaxing and comforting to do.

"You still don't see it, M?" Lexy stood up, anger coursing through her veins just a tiny bit as her friend either was blind or just in denial. "You think he would be nice and use lines like the Queen one on everyone? Or let them cry on his shoulder just because he is nice? Wake up, M, and see what you have in front of your eyes before you lose it, just because you are too afraid or stubborn to see it and believe it!" the red-haired said, turning away and walking out of the room, not waiting for a reply.

"She is right, M. This is Yoongi's last year here. You don't have much time to figure it out, and you never know what is going to happen. Just don't regret it later, M" Kiki continued, standing up as well, looking at her friend with a tiny bit of sadness and regret for spoiling her day like that, before walking out the door, after Lexy.

M could only watch the door close after them, still sitting on the chair, hands clasped in front of her, a lone tear escaping her eyes, dropping on her arm. She quickly wiped it away, blinking rapidly to stop the other tears from escaping.

"What do I really want or feel?" she asked her lone room, the walls looking back at her with indifference, never offering her their opinion. She herself did not know how to continue with anything, besides school. "Emotions suck" she finally exclaimed, looking out the window, watching the storm clouds gather around the campus, somehow matching her own inner turmoil. Yet, not even that brought her comfort, a headache forming as her mind kept replaying what her friends told her, and she could only groan in despair, as neither her mind nor heart could settle on a specific emotion or thought. In the end, she gave up on feeling anything, just looking out the window the moment the drops of rain starting hitting the glass. Her brain shut down any process of thought, and her heart kept quiet, both letting the rain lull her to sleep. In the end,  she fell asleep on the table, falling in a dreamless state which would tire her more than a nightmare would.