A Promise

Chapter Fifteen

        I felt my face turn as red as my dress as Enjolras stared at me with his mouth hanging half-way open. "You look amazing," he repeated, still gazing at me in awe. "Thanks, Enj," I said awkwardly. I hoped he couldn't hear the way my heart was pounding like a drum. Enjolras suddenly realized that he was staring at me and quickly turned away.

        "So," he said, clearing his throat loudly, clearly eager to change the subject, "are you ready to give your speech tomorrow in the public square?" I shifted from foot to foot, my nerves coming over me.

        "I'm not sure," I said. "I've never given a speech before. I don't know what to say."

        "I have faith in you," Enjolras promised. "You'll think of something."

        "Hopefully," I replied, sitting on the couch next to him. "I'm so nervous! What if I stand there and choke up in front of everyone?"

        "You won't, I promise. I know you'll be amazing. If you would like, you can practice it with me," he suggested.

        "Okay," I agreed, rather reluctantly. I cleared my throat. "Here it goes. Umm... Hi. My name is Eponine Thenardier, and, um... I was born into poverty. I'm here to talk to you about... um..." My throat dried and my face flushed. I tried to say something, but it was like my entire vocabulary had been wiped clean. All the words that I wanted to say seemed to be floating above my head, just out of reach.

        "It's okay," Enjolras encouraged me. "Speak from your heart. Listen to what your heart tells you."

        I stared into his kind eyes, and I could see his confidence in me. "The problem is, Enjolras, that for so many years I have refused to listen to my heart. Now, I don't understand what my heart is saying to me anymore."

        "Have faith," he told me. "You can do this."

        I sighed. "Maybe if I go to bed I'll think of something in my sleep," I suggested half-heartedly.

        Enjolras nodded. "Sometimes rest helps," he told me. "Good night, Ep."

        "Night, Enj," I said, and walked into one of Enjolras' spare bedrooms. I lay my head on the soft pillow and closed my eyes, but I could not fall asleep. I racked my brain for something adequate to say, but no words came. My stomach churned as I imagined the embarrassment I would feel tomorrow when I stood up in front of the crowd with nothing to say. Finally, I gave up. Tomorrow, I would just have to improvise. My eyes fluttered and I yawned, but still, my body refused to fall asleep. Enjolras' words echoed in my mind. Speak from your heart. Listen to what your heart tells you. At first, I had found it rather funny that the man with the marble heart was telling me to listen to my heart, but honestly, Enjolras' heart was far from marble. He was kind and forgiving, charitable and brave. If anyone had a marble heart, it was I. I was the one who refused to believe in love. I was the one who had almost abandoned Les Amis. I was the one who refused to listen to everything my heart was trying to say.

       In all honesty, if I really listened to my heart, I would be able to understand what it was telling me. I thought of all the times my heart had soared at Enjolras' touch, or the many ways in which he had changed my life. I thought of how happy I was when I was with him, and how I only felt like I belonged somewhere when I was at his side. If I really listened to my heart, I would understand what all these signs meant.

        All my life, my heart had been as hard as marble.

        Maybe it was time to change that.

        Maybe it was time to listen to what my heart was so blatantly telling me.