A Promise

Chapter Thirty-One

        Although the alcohol tasted disgusting, I poured it into my mouth, desperate to find a way to numb the negative feelings that were swirling inside me like a hurricane. I could still see Enjolras' pained face from the corner of my eye, but I closed my eyes and swallowed more alcohol.

        "No," someone said, walking up to me and wrenching the bottle from my hands. I looked up to see that Marius was the one who had taken away my precious escape from pain. "I am not going to watch one of my closest friends become a slave to this stuff," Marius said, throwing the bottle on the ground. Grantaire protested weakly, but Marius ignored him. I sighed and put my head in my hands, allowing my hopelessness and despair to overwhelm me.

        "Enough of this!" Enjolras declared, standing up. The pain on his face was gone, replaced by his famous marble expression. "We fight now. We end this now. The people have not heard us and have not risen up to help us as we had expected, but we will not abandon those who cannot hear. We will fight as hard as we can. We will make them bleed, and if we bleed with them, then so be it!"

        "Why are you doing this?" I asked, standing up and staring him straight in the eye. "Why are you throwing your life away for a hopeless cause?"

        Enjolras looked at me with an angry fire in his eyes. "If you don't respect our cause, Eponine, then there is no reason for you to be here."

        I fell silent. Finally, I nodded my head. "Fine," I snapped. "I'll go. Have fun killing yourself and your friends for nothing."

        I turned and ran from the barricade, not even realizing that I had taken my gun with me. When I was already a good distance from the barricade, although still close enough to see it, I heard the first shots of the final battle. I couldn't take it anymore. I fell to my knees, crying. I could hear the yells of my friends, and each cry of pain felt like a dagger in my heart. Any of the gunshots I was hearing could have been one that shot Enjolras, or Marius, or Grantaire... Tears slipped down my cheeks like a waterfall. What if I never saw Enjolras again, and the last thing we ever did was fight? What if he died believing that I hated him? I don't know how long I knelt on the ground, crying and listening helplessly to the sounds of the battle. Finally, I gritted my teeth and stood up. You are Eponine Thenardier, I reminded myself. You are not weak. Taking a few deep breaths to steady myself, I resolved to return to the barricade. Before I could even begin walking, I saw a figure wearing a red coat hurrying towards me. The sight of Enjolras brought back a flood of mixed feelings. First, I was relieved and touched to know that he had not given up on me. Still, my anger and grief overwhelmed me.

        "What are you doing?" I asked him.

        "The battle is hopeless," Enjolras said breathlessly. "Everyone is dying, one by one. I need to go back to die with them as their leader, but I did not want to leave you without saying good-bye or telling you that I'm sorry."

        I choked back tears, then turned around so he would not see the emotions on my face. "Go!" I cried, my anger getting the best of me. "If all you care about is your little revolution, then go and leave me."

        "Eponine," Enjolras protested. "Please don't make me leave you like this."

        "Go!" I yelled. "Leave me!" I knew that every word I said was a dagger in him, but I was too angry to care. "Go back to your little revolution and leave me alone."

        "Ep..."

        "Don't call me that!" I snapped. "It's Eponine."

        "Eponine... I love you."