Crawling back to you

Steppin' Out.

TW : suicide attempts / sexual agression/ eating disorder

The next day, Bruce walked directly to the doctor's office before he went to see John.
The doctor called him earlier this day to have a talk with him about the Joker. Now John.
He was welcomed by the same tired smile than the day before and accepted to sit on a chair. The doctor sat dehind his desk.

'' so, mister Wayne, I'll be frank. ''
Bruce gulped, waiting for the worse.
'' John's not really.... Talkative. But I noticed some scars of the past in... Intimate parts. ''
Bruce frowned, he noticed that before, when him and The Joker had intimate times.
'' I think John may... Well. I think he could have been raped. Multiple times. ''
Bruce's breath was heavy with shock
.
'' I'm sorry to say it like that. But I don't know how to say it in other ways. I may have no tact. ''
Tact. Yes, that was the word. Bruce sighed, scratching behind his ear. He was tired too.
'' I can be wrong. It could also be auto mutilation. ''

Silence followed slowly.

'' can I go see him? "
The doctor nodded.
'' have a nice day, doctor Bennett. ''

As he walked by the door, Bruce remembered the many times he caressed the inner thighs of the Joker, how many times he followed the scars here, a questioning look on his masked face. How many times he felt the cold hands of the Joker taking his face to distract him from those.
How many times he kissed the red smile, licked the sugary tongue, passing his gloved hand through the green hair as the Joker's back bent in pleasure under the touch of the Batman.
He sighed again, his face felt hot as he walked in the room.

'' Hiiii... ''
John smiled, he was sat on his mattress, a nurse brushing his hair back slowly. Bruce smiled lightly still approaching.
'' Hello John. How are you? "
John smiled, he was groggy.
'' I ate... ''
The nurse smiled, looking at Bruce with a sad gaze.
'' oh that's great. ''
He sat on the chair beside the bed again. John reached slowly for his hand. He gave it to him.
'' what did you eat?"
John closed his eyes.
'' I don't remember ''
The nurse behind him passed her hand in the green curls. Bruce watched how she arranged John's hair.
'' of course you do, John!"
She said, trying to help him remember. Her fingers still in his hair. Bruce felt something he felt before with an other woman. Jealousy.
'' John '' he said delicately ''what did you eat?"
John watched him, then he watched the nurse.
''I... I'm in love... ''
The nurse smiled, letting the skinny man fall back on the mattress and tugging his heavy head in the pillows.

'' excuse him, he has a really strong treatment at the moment. ''
The nurse said with a smile, covering the white torso with the blankets.
'' the fact that he ate today is really good. We noticed strange behaviors with food the first days. He did tell us he was diagnosed with anorexia in Arkham. ''
Bruce still watched her hands working on the clown to make his bed comfortable.
'' I know. ''
She looked at him strangely before saying goodbye to him with a nod. Bruce didn't answer.
John seemed relaxed when Bruce layed his blue eyes on his face, approaching his chair to the bed.
'' Bruce... ''
The man titled his head.
'' Bruce. Batman. ''
John's grip went still for a moment.
'' maybe I was born to die... ''
'' don't say that John. ''
Bruce sighed, still debating on what he was about to say.
'' don't say that, John. Joker. ''
John's eyes went wet with big tears.
'' let's... Please... ''
Bruce grabbed his hand tighter, hurt to see the clown like that.
'' please Bruce... Let's forget about him... Joker... Is dead. ''
Bruce stood off the chair, sitting this time on the mattress.
'' you know who is the Batman. I know who is John. He's right in front of me. John Doe...''

The green haired man smiled. His tears falling on his face in shiny little pearls. His cheeks were pinkish with emotion.
Maybe that was what he needed after all. A name. Reconnaissance.