Crawling back to you

Lazy Pills.

You only know you need help when you recieve help.
John lived years and years refusing help, pushing away supervision. He became insensitive to emotions and affection. Maybe because he never experienced love and kindness.
Of course he had a complicated childhood, it was one of the many red flags he carried through the years. Thanks to his absolutly deplorable family situation, he grew up in need of something he thought he could never have.
But, Batman appeared.
Then, Bruce arrived.

And, for the first time of his life, John could finally ask for love.
For the first time of his life, he experienced happiness, love and sadness, and need. He knew need, he was a real whimsical man and already knew need for things, weapons, new clothes...
A very material human being.
He knew need, but not the sort of need he experienced by sharing Bruce's environment.
He thought he knew what sadness felt like too, by crying over and over again during his whole life. But now he knew, he knew it only was rage.
Sadness looked more like that.
Alone in the big floor bath of the Wayne's manor, looking through the large  window, putting his kness to his rib cage.

Bruce was nowhere to be found, he only saw him few times those past two days.
He knew Bruce was a very busy man and the last thing he wanted to do was to disturb him in his work.
But John was needy.
Gosh, now he knew what it felt like, John was needy for love. Bruce's love.

Knocks echoed on the bathroom door, making him jump and turn to see who was brave enough to disturb him during his daily mental breakdown.
''Can i come in ?"
Bruce !
It was Bruce !
''yeah !"
The man enterred the room, a smile on his lips and hands behind his back.
He walked through the room, stopped to take of his shoes and socks with one hand (the other one was still behind his back), and sat at the bath slidding his feet in the water.
John covered his body a little, his knees still up. Of course, Bruce already saw him naked in the past but his body changed, he wasn't really comfortable with that nowadays.

''look what i got for you.''
The other hand appeared, giving a little box to John.
They smiled to each other, John already trying to open it.
''i'm sorry i wasn't there the past days...''
Gift paper drowned in the water.
''i tried to give you so much... To make you feel great, but i was deaf to your screams.''
In the box, a beautiful necklace layed.
A round pendent shined, on it two letters.
''B and J'' John smiled.
''is it for Butter and Jam ?"
A silence went by, followed by a snort. Bruce approached.
''maybe you should come inside with me, Brucie...''
John ran a hand on the other's thigh slowly, their eyes met.
''No, i have to go back to work, John i'm sorry.''

Bruce took the jewerly, passing it around John's neck to clip it. He lingered his fingers on the warm neck and kissed the skull softly.
John crossed his arms on his chest, his face low.
''i'm sorry John''
A strong hand took his face delicatly, John smiled sadly.
''Kiss me Bruce''
The men smiled softly to each other.
Their faces approached slowly, John closed his eyes waiting to finally taste the lips he desired the most.
Only to be disappointed when those lips layed on his cheek.
His eyes opened, black by the blown out pupils, he watched Bruce get up and wipe his feet before putting back his socks and shoes.
''i'll see you tonight John, rest well.''
The door closed softly, leaving the man alone.

''oh you'll  not see me just tonight, Bruce.''