|He Didn't Noticed Me| A Matt Lintz Fanfiction

Chapter 41

*Matt's P.O.V*

"And then this whole thing goes in another direction..." Macsen was talking about something that happened on an assignment that he was working on.

He was figuring it out and here I am, bouncing a ping pong ball on the ping pong paddle. I was barely paying attention to what he was saying because my mind is full of my own thoughts about what I've been thinking lately.

After my explosion of screaming in the bathroom and soaking myself with water, I've been a little out of it. I'm thinking that Macsen can tell.

He can read me like a book.

I'm still trying to figure out everything. My mom had said that I have figured stuff out before and I can do it again. But I'm having a tough time with it all. Even though I know what I am going to ask Alex once I visit her again.

I've just been trying to figure everything out.

Sure, I haven't talked about this with Macsen. Since I don't know what he would say. Plus, I wouldn't even know how to talk about it. It was hard enough with mom so how could I talk about it with Macsen?

"And then- are you even listening to me?" Macsen then asked.

I looked at him. "Yeah."

"Then what am I talking about?"

"You're talking about an assignment."

"Assignment about what?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"So you weren't listening to me?" He questioned. "I should've known. Since lately, all you care about is trying to get your head out of your ass."

I immediately glared at him. He made me mad that quickly.

No words were said at first. But the only thing that I did was drop the ping pong paddle down on the floor hard and then stood up.

"Head out of my ass? You really wanna go there?" I asked.

"Don't even try to turn this around. You and I both know that you've been out of it lately. Let's remember what happened. I heard you screaming your head off a few days ago. You've lost it. Whatever it is that's going through your head, it's making you act this way. You've lost it because you've completely lost control of your thoughts. What was it?" He asked, raising his voice a little.

I shook my head and chuckled a little. "You don't need to know."

Macsen was taken back by what I said. He also seems to be confused because usually, I'll tell him everything that's happening. But this time, I'm not and he's not happy. I don't blame him but his comment just earlier pissed me off.

"Let's remember who helps you with the shit that you're going through."

"I remember clearly." I crossed my arms across my chest.

Macsen looked like he wanted to laugh but he didn't. "You've lost it, Matt. Tell me what is going on right now."

"That isn't happening."

"You really need to get your head out of your ass because if you don't then I will. You've lost it." He said.

I started to breathe a little hard. The space was closing in. I feel it.

"See, it's happening right now. Stop it before it gets worse." Macsen said but I ignored him.

I closed my eyes as my breath had started to get more heavy. The breaths become harder. Thoughts coming into my head.