Desire {Corpse fanfic}

{4} Human contact

🎵 Corpse - agoraphobic

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He would have woken up defeated as well...if he had slept at all. But he couldn't. This wasn't that out of the ordinary, he had insomnia.

But that night other things kept him up. He was spiraling about sending that message. It wasn't thought trough at all. He was even surprised by himself. He didn't know he wanted to meat her until he typed that message.

He haven't left his flat in about a week. He wasn't sleeping much and day and night was melting into one. His work kept him sane. It gave his days some structure and it was nice hearing his friends' voice.

His symptoms weren't acting up more than usual but he just felt exhausted and defeated by life. Well it was just one of those days.

He was the most introverted person he knew. He knew that. But he couldn't help but feel that maybe some human contact would make him feel better.

He liked being alone but now he was lonely and he didn't like feeling lonely.

He liked the calls with her. He found her incredibly attractive. The calls fired him up so much that it sometimes shocked him. Although it wasn't that surprising since he hadn't been with anyone in months.

He was compelled by her. He wanted to know more about her. He wanted to know everything.

It was strange for him. He was used to girls obsessing over him and wanting to know everything about him the same way he was feeling about her. The fact that he felt that she didn't care about him much made him that much more interested.

He felt like there was no pressure with her because it seemed like she just didn't care. She didn't want to fix him. She had no right to anyways. He was paying and she was obeying. He liked the power.

But he also liked the power she had over him. He was mesmerized every time he was looking at her on the screen he wished he could just reach through it and touch her.

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Her message took him by surprise. He wasn't even sure she read his message in the first place. But he accepted. He knew just seeing her through a screen wasn't enough for him anymore.

Of course he was terrified of being recognized but his desires were stronger than his fear. He felt like the power he possessed over her by paying her would get him out of a possible bad situation anyways.

-

He was an anxious mess the whole day. He couldn't help but wonder what if she recognizes him. He almost thought of texting her to not bring her phone to stop her from taking pictures but he stopped himself thinking that would just probably make her really suspicious.

And what if she didn't like him? He couldn't cope with the thought of her rejection. Him hating his looks was well enough for him. He just wanted her to like him.