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Dear my love, I'm not too sure how this letter will turn out. I'm not good at writing like you are. I managed to teach myself when I first met you just in case something like this were to happen and we couldn't say our last words. And it appears that things have gotten a bit tight to a point we're not going to be able to see each other for a while. I'm sorry but I had to do what I had to for you to survive even though we told one another... Life is about more than just surviving I needed you to survive or there would be no point for me to continue on. I'm sure you have questions as to why I did what I did. I need you to know that if I didn't, you would not have survived. When I was in the city of light and you went through back to reality, Raven sent me a message as did Becca and A.L.I.E. That message was if anything seizures or anything were to happen you'd be dead, except A.L.I.E told me you would be able to live with night blood. And at the time there was no way of knowing how to give it to you and I think A.L.I.E knew that, but I asked Abby for a doze back at Becca's lab just in case. I almost gave it to you when you passed out on all of us but I knew it wasn't the time. If I've given it to you now that means you were on the verge of dying. I'm not letting my fiancé die. Not like that. And with me not up there in space with you...I know I can survive on the ground because of my blood. There wasn't going to be enough room, oxygen for all of us. Raven and I spoke about it, but don't be mad at her. It was my choice to stay and for you to go and don't go all in your head saying that you could have stayed. Natblida doesn't go into affect that quickly... We know from Clarke. I have to wrap this up Y/N... I don't want to you to give up. Live your life up there. Continue drawing and writing. Know that I...Ai hod yu in. Always and forever. We will meet again sooner than you may think. And don't think this as a goodbye my love because it's not. It never will be. I'll see you soon. Be careful and please say you won't let go, ever. I love you Y/N Kom Skai-Trikru. May we meet again.
Love, Leksa Kom Trikru (Lexa)
Tears overwhelm my eyes as I shake my head and fold up the paper tossing it down on the ground. I cross my arms over my chest but one arm reaches up while I place my hand over my face. I can't even process anything at the moment. My mind starts racing, full of thoughts and doubts. When I slightly pull my hand down my face I open my eyes seeing my vision blurry. But I can see the blueness of the earth in front of me past the window, yet all I could bring myself to do is step off to the side of the window and drop my hands and beginning to let my cries out as I pick up my hand and begin swinging at the wall.
I punch the wall as hard as I can feeling it burn as I do. And I know I've caused myself to bleed but I keep punching closing my eyes hearing my own sobs escapes through my lips. "Y/N!" A bunch of different voices shouted. Within moments I feel arms wrap around me and pull me away from the wall causing me to stop punching the wall. I fight back who grabbed me , kicking and swinging till we fall to the floor.
"Hey, hey. Calm down," Murphy's voice spoke loud enough for me to hear over my cries. I shook my head and still fought to get out of his hold, but overtime all the anger I was feeling was slowly turning into just wanting to cry. My eyes opened and closed feeling Murphy's arms loosen and become more gingerly. I slowly open my eyes carefully seeing Raven bending down and picking something up. I knew it was Lexa's note to me but I say and do anything. All I can do is cry turning and hiding my face into Murphy's chest feeling his hand reach up and rest on the back of my head.
<<<<>>>>
"Well you're a nightblood now," Murphy spoke as I watched Harper wrap a bandage around my hand. I didn't bother looking up and acknowledging Murphy. There really wasn't a point. I could see my blood was now black like Lexa's and Aden's and all the night bloods before. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as Harper pulls away and stands up. I can hear her walk away leaving Murphy and I but still neither of us talk. He stayed holding me as I cried. Everyone was really watching. I could feel all their eyes on me as I cried but I knew they were just concerned. Luckily I managed to calm down enough for someone to wrap my hand up to make sure it didn't get infected, but the 8 of us were scattered mostly now.
The doors to the room Murphy and I were in opened causing me to slightly glance up spotting an olive skinned girl before looking back down to my hand. I figure a small interaction occurred between Murphy and Raven considering within moments since the mechanic entered the room Murphy walked over and gently placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Take it easy," he spoke gently. He lifts his hand up and then exits the room leaving Raven and I alone. Her eyes burn through my but I keep quiet hearing her walk a little ways towards me. Within seconds she holds out the letter Lexa wrote out in front of me. Slowly, I reach up and take a hold of it then drop my hand back in my lap keeping a secure hold of the letter.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Raven questions, her voice low and filled with concern, but I only shake my head from side to side. But this only causes Raven to grab a hold of my hand that's not bandaged up. I keep my eyes on her hand feeling, watching her squeeze my hand gently. "You know I'll be here for whenever you need me... And know that you'll see her again."
Raven's words ring through my head. I know she's right, I will see Lexa again. I have to see her again. "She gave us your bag- I know you like to draw when things are rolling through your head so here-" Out of the corner of my eye I see Raven place down my bag, but I still remain silent feeling Raven squeeze my hand one more time. "Right... We should get you to your room so you can try and sleep."
I slowly nod standing up and gently grabbing my bag as we begin walking out of the room we were in. I know what she was trying to do... I know she only cared. But right now all I want is Lexa and I can't have her. So the next best thing I could possibly want is to be alone...
