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Silence. That's all there is between Raven and I. Murphy left 5 minutes ago and neither one of us have taken the chance to speak. She won't even look me in my eyes. I know she's wanting me to speak first and I will, but all I want to do is hug her. But know that maybe right now since she's still pretty pissed at me isn't the time for hugging. A low sigh escapes my lips as I shift in my position keeping my eyes on her.
"Raven, I'm sorry," I say, continuing on. "What I did was stupid and I shouldn't of done it-"
"You're right. You're a dumbass," Raven says cutting me off slightly. She picks up her head and finally our eyes lock. I bite my lip and nod my head up and down.
"Yeah I am. A big ole dumbass that hasn't been herself lately-" I pause a second keeping my eyes on the mechanic. "I get what you were trying to do. What all of you, mostly you and Murphy were trying to do. And I'm sorry for how I acted and for almost hurting you and things I said...And I don't expect you to forgive me. I know I've fucked up more than once but I hope you can give me another chance. I don't want to lose you Raven. You're my family. Family sticks together right?"
Silence fills the air again. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip briefly then clench my jaw letting my eyes sulk. I wanted to cry and I'm not even sure exactly why. But as I looked at Raven seeing how her face just stayed angry looking at me I just didn't know what to do so I place my hands into my back pockets and shrug my shoulder.
"Remember the first time we met?" I ask. "Not on the ark but on the ground?" I watch as her head nods up and down slowly. "Do you remember me telling you about the ground? Remember me telling you all it's glory and how beautiful it was but left out the bad parts because I'm that moment as you took in all the good I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want you to have to be scared or fearful. I just wanted everything to be perfect for you even if it was for a few minutes."
"And it was... But what's that got to do with now Y/N?" Raven asked and I could see the change in her eyes. They appeared softer. I knew she had to be looking back to when we officially first met instead of her seeing me dragged off by guardsman on the ark and trying to stick up for me.
"What it's got to do with now is...right now things are bad but it doesn't have to stay that way-" I pause a second dropping my arms to my side. "There's still things that can be good, beautiful. It doesn't have to stay shitty Raven. I didn't mean anything I said or did to you. I wish I could take it back but I can't and I'm sorry. I had no right, no reason to do what I did. That's on me and I'm owning up to my mistakes. But I don't want to do this... This whole thing with you hating me."
Raven slowly begins to shake her head from side to side. But before I could say anything else the olive skinned girl rushes towards me and wraps her arms around me. I bite my lip feeling her embrace, slowly wrapping my arms around her body. I close my eyes a second and we just stand there.
"I don't hate you. I could never hate you," Raven whispers into my ear. "But know that we only want you safe and there's things going on with you. Please don't bury them down and subside them like I know you do. I am here for you. Always."
I nod my head up and down and open my eyes as we pull away from one another. When we do my eyes meet Raven's who has tears in her eyes. I shake my head and look away. "Please don't cry... You're going to make me cry."
A slight chuckle escapes Raven's lips and I pick up my head. "I won't cry... But I did overhear Bellamy say you haven't been eating." I watch as Raven's eyes look past me over to the untouched food on the desk. Slowly, I glance over my shoulder and look to the food then slowly look back.
"Yeah... I just couldn't bring myself to eat."
"Will you for me?" I nod slowly but stay still biting my bottom lip. I see Raven tilt her head to the side before hearing her say, "I forgive you." My eyes lighten up as I look to her eyes, my own looking back and forth between her brown ones before giving a small smile and walking over to the food sitting down and beginning to eat while gradually getting into conversation with the mechanic as I do.
