Walk Through Fog

Left in Snow

I was scared I was losing someone. Someone I never imagined losing, someone that never left my side. I loved him, I knew that. I don't understand, I never understand what I did, but here I am, in the cold and icy snow. "Miles! You can't just leave me!" He turned back to her, "Really? Then what does it look like I'm doing?" She froze, standing there she couldn't believe what was happening, she started crying as soon as he left her sight, after an hour. She cried. The sudden feelings came upon her, his hand in hers, the feeling of his lips on hers, she started to run, run as fast she could, all the way to the one spot she felt safe, their spot. Memories kept piling over and over her and she couldn't take it she wanted to run, hide and never return. She looked up through the trees that acted as a roof and protector, "Why!? Why does this happen? Why is my life doomed? He was all I had! Why don't you understand?" The sobs took over her body as she remembered all the moments they had, all the sorrow, pain, and happiness. They were there, on stage the day of the auditions for the play that she had to do, she hated them. She was forced by her mother, like always, to do the things her mother never got to do, so she had to do them. That's how life worked, right? "Amanda Greene!" She walked hesitantly on stage, the hand that was holding her bow was shaking, all she wanted was to play for her own amusement, not because she had to, but as he started to play the piano, she felt At home.

As she began to play her violin along with him, their eyes met and she was paralyzed. She didn't stop playing though, for some reason, he made her play better and she loved it. They played for what felt like hours, but really it was only minutes. Soon the song ended and they could hear applause around them, but they were too busy admiring each other. "Hi." Neither of them knew that it would change their lives forever.

Amanda was shaking from all the snow falling from the trees above her, but nothing was as cold as what her heart felt. Can you believe that was Sophomore year, and now here she is three years later, alone and afraid of what might come next. She can still hear the music, two weeks after the audition, when it was opening night of the play and all she had to do was stand up there with Miles and play.

You would expect her to be nervous, but she stood up there with her best friend that she has been getting to know for two weeks and she was crushing so hard that an elephant would be jealous. The music moved with her and she felt it in her bones and she knew that this would change how she looked at everything and how bad she wanted to do this again and again. The applause shocked her and she literally jumped and she stood there for about three minutes as the whole theatre stood and applauded and whistled and all she did was curtsy and quickly walk off the stage, Miles close behind her. "We so didn't deserve that." Miles was looking at her with pure shock on his face, "I at least didn't." She shook her head and slapped his shoulder saying, "We did deserve it, the rehearsals were hell and we didn't even have any lines." He smiled and did something amazing, he kissed her. It was like the feeling of running through a field of flowers and similar to how you felt when running through a sprinkler as a kid. The giddy feeling of excitement and wanting to never get older or ruin the moment because you never want to leave the place and time where you're the happiest. Why'd that end? Why is she sitting here underneath this tree and thinking about that night when she was fifteen and being asked out on a date by the one person she loves and will never stop loving?

Amanda stood up, wiping off all the remaining snow hat was stuck to her pants as the small flecks of snow melt from her hair. She didn't want to go home, she couldn't, she shared a home with him, so she walked in the falling snow. It was beautiful, all the crystals hanging from the trees and the snow resting upon them, with the lights reflecting off them. It made her think about the first time they spent together, on that cold and icy December night. As she walked into the diner the memory just became stronger and stronger. "M'lady." He opened the door for her with a stupid smile on his face that she had grown to love.

The hostess seated them in a corner booth off to the right hand side so they could look out onto the street and watch the people that passed by. They ordered their meals and they quickly came as they small talked and got to know each other in the best ways. He hated the piano, but he loved when they played together and he couldn't wait until they could play together again. He had an odd favorite color though, red orange, like the sunset. I guess that showed how poetic and nerdy he could be. She loved him, every little bit, she just didn't know it yet, but any bystander in that diner could tell that one day they may grow old together. She just stared at him, smiling at one point as they shared a chocolate covered sunday. "What?" That just made her smile more, that he noticed, that he wanted to notice.

"Nothing. I just love knowing you and how insanely terrible you are at sharing this ice cream." They laughed like they had a secret that no one else knew, but really they just were beginning the sparks of love.

The glass of hot chocolate hitting the table brought her out of her memory and a small tear escaped her eye and she wiped it quickly. Really, she had no idea what happened that made her end up here, crying at a diner. A part of her just wanted to go back and relive all the wonderful things they shared together, another part wanted to stay and not see what might have caused this terrible pain inside of her. Amanda has friends that could help her go through this, but they would just think it was so cliche and stupid. Why did they have to be so young, but you're never too young, love can be found in the oddest of places. Amanda sat there not wanting to stay, but she tried to remember what went wrong why she was sitting here, but that may be part of it. Amanda just wanted to remember why, why was everything so ruined?

"Miles, why are we here again?" Miles was dragging Amanda up a tall hill that she didn't see the purpose in climbing sense there was a perfectly good picnic spot a mile away. "It's a surprise. Stop nagging and enjoy it." She stopped just for a moment to look around. The hill was pretty big and she could see the whole park, the wind was rushing through her hair and she could see it making patterns in the grass. The trees were moving to her own songs and she wanted to be one of the leaves flying away with them. She turned at the call of her name and at the top of the hill, was a tree and a small pond. "What's all this?" Amanda asked as she finally got to the top of the hill, her long blonde hair whipping in front of her face. He pushed it away so Amanda could look into Miles' deep brown eyes that complimented his dark brown hair nicely. His eyes were more magnified because of his glasses and she just took a moment to stare at him and to make sure he was actually real. "This is your surprise. A nice evening in February and I thought hey let's have a picnic." Amanda gave him a weird look, she was standing at the top of a hill with flurries falling down on her and the slight chill hitting her. "Oh come on. Don't act like you don't like it," Miles smiled at her which caused her to stick her tongue out, but she was smiling to.

It was moments like that, that she missed, they haven't any moments so beautiful in a while. That's what she's forgotten, their love for each other. She feared so did he, why did it ever happen, the fight the forgetting? Time needs to come back, everything has been happening so quick that all the magic was fading away. She wanted it back, she needed it back. One minute they were running through a field, teasing each other and the next they were discussing moving in together, college, and graduating. It all just came to fast. Maybe that's the problem, it was just a High School sweetheart thing, but she didn't want it to be. It felt real, everything, the love, they managed a year together out of high school so why is it all crashing down now? When Amanda met him it was the first time she was happy in years, ever since her dad died, he was there for her and he just understood when she needed to be alone. Who knows if she can live without him, apparently he thought the same thing because the next thing she knew the door to the diner rang and in he came. His eyes were searching and he was breathing deeply and when he saw her his whole body relaxed. He came running to their booth and sat down starting to ramble about all the choices he made and how they were wrong but she just heard one thing. "I love you, Amanda, always have, always will." Amanda stopped him from going on word overload and just smiled at him and he smiled back relieved that he didn't need to apologize. "Miles, I love you too. You don't need to apologize, it was both of us. I don't know what happened, but I never want it to happen again." He leaned over the table and kissed her causing a small tear to escape her eye. He brushed it away like always and for the rest of the night they sat there smiling and talking, finding the magic again.