Walk Through Fog

Run

Running, feeling the wind pass my face, almost feeling like needles hitting my crying eyes each second. I felt like I was being chased, but I knew I wasn't. I was just running, my tears running down my face. I was running from the same thing. I feel like I run from it each day and it's starting to get too hard, my heart clenching, pounding until it feels like I'm going to explode! Everyday it's a different dream, everyday it's someone else, everyday I see the light leave their eyes as they collapse to the floor. I run from it even though I know I can't. Mom says it will get easier and easier as time goes on, but I know it won't. Every night it's a new dream, one I can't wake from, one I can't escape. Every morning I go for a run, ever since my fifteenth birthday, I run, in the woods, sobbing almost not seeing, but I knew I would always find my way back because I would need to see the next person. The next person who's life would be taken from them.

My family, it's kind of weird. For generations each member of our family would wake up on their fifteenth birthday with a "gift". We call it that even though we all know it's really a magical power, like one from a fantasy novel. We're called Farels, I'm not sure, or what that even means, but there are thousands of us. There can be beautiful gifts, like stopping a baby from crying, giving people false hope, making peoples wishes come true, or like my mom, guide people where they need to be. My dad isn't one, but he accepts all of us and is supportive, but I haven't told him my gift because I'm scared he will stop accepting me. My gift is probably the worst.

I keep trying to escape it and wish I wasn't it, the child of a mortal and an immortal, that means your gift won't be so lucky. You see, we've gone back so many generations that there are many of us, that aren't directly blood related so you usually fall in love with another Farel, we could probably make up our on continent we're so popular. We could be around you and you wouldn't even know. The problem is, every once in awhile there's a rebel, who marries a mortal, that would be my mom. Even though we are immortal we live until we are one-hundred and then get to choose what age we want to be for eternity.

The elders chose that, we all get to live a normal life and then live a life at any age you choose. I know which one I would choose, death. I would take my own life instead of living forever in my old body and now knowing my gift I want it even more. I'm scared. I never want to sleep again, I try not to every night, but somehow it takes over and I have to. Dad always says that no matter what, someone out there will accept me no matter what my gift is, but I don't believe him now. How can anyone ever love a monster like me?

I run home, knowing Mom was guiding me without her knowing, she does it, all the time 24-7 and lets people she loves use her gift, when lost. She never knows when she uses it, only when someone directly asks. It's almost like she's an angel, while I'm a demon. I walk through the front door seeing that it was already ten o'clock. I walk into the kitchen seeing Dad, my baby brother (Cole), and Mom. "Hey, Honey. How was your run?" I shrugged going to grab a glass of water as one more tear escaped my eye and I quickly wiped it away. Dad still didn't know my gift and I was going to try to keep it that way. Mom knew though, she knew everything. It comes in handy when her mom can see the past and present. Not the future though, no one but the main elder has that gift and no one else will ever have it.

I walk over to Cole's high chair and kiss his forehead before going up to my room and collapsing onto my bed. Picking up my phone and dialing my best friend, Mackenzie's number. "Lily!" Was her very, very chipper response, sometimes I just want to punch it right out of her. "Hey, Mack." That was the thing, I wasn't allowed to tell any mortal about my secret, unless I was engaged to them. I hated that, maybe if my friends knew it wouldn't be so bad, but now I would never tell them, they wouldn't dare trust me. "What are you doing today? I thought that on this fine summer day we could go see if I can get my drivers license!" She squealed, ever since she turned sixteen last month she couldn't wait to start driving.

I still can't believe that almost a year ago I got my gift and every night I would wish I didn't have it, every night I would wish it was gone, or that I was dead. As long as it was gone or I was, I might finally be happy! "Yeah, that sounds great, Mack. Want me to come?" I said it close to tears, like I always do lately, or in a monotone voice, "Of course I do! My mom will be there by twelve. Be ready!" I start to shower and close my eyes, but I open them as soon as I see her face again, that beautiful little girl. Most people love their gifts and I can't wait for Cole to get his, I just wish his is so much better than mine. Soon it's twelve and Mack comes to get me. It all goes by quickly and I feel like she has to snap me out of my trance every two seconds, because I can't go one second without thinking about the night before.

Soon I'm being dropped off by Mack herself, with a Starbucks coffee and her waving excitedly goodbye to me. I walk inside and see Dad on the couch, hunched over his hands clasped together, a tear running down his face. I have never seen my dad cry, not even when him and Mom got married. I was an accident, in high school. Mom and Dad had to get married once they were eighteen, so even though they were already dating for three years, Dad didn't know about Farels until he was engaged to Mom, me already being two and a half. So my parents were fairly young and it still shocked me when I saw out of the ordinary activity like what was happening in front of me. "Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was harsh, like he was really mad and slightly scared.

"I was scared you wouldn't accept me." A tear escaped my eye as I set my coffee down and he got up to stand in front of me. "Wow, why aren't you the elder with the future gift? Damn right I don't accept a killer." He said it with a venomous smile on his face, another tear escaped my eye and instead of wiping it away like he normally did, he slapped it away. My own father slapped me. As my head whipped to the side I saw my mother standing there, not stopping it, she almost looked proud of him! She was guiding him! She never believed in me! She wanted me to hurt! "Now get the hell out of my house!" I looked at him one more time, seeing the tear on his face, it could have been from frustration, but when I looked in his eyes I saw sadness. That didn't stop though, I ran again, through the woods, all over. Anywhere but there, the whole I time I was thinking about it, how mom could have been guiding him without him asking, she could have been the one not trusting me, not Dad. Right now I didn't care, I hated myself and that was the worst feeling imaginable. I just couldn't stop thinking about my gift.

Each night when I fell asleep I would be taken to another world, almost like I was a ghost and could see everything around me, my gift was to take people's souls from them, decide if they belonged in a happy afterlife or a hell filled one. I had to take their lives away from them each night. I had to kill people and then decide their fate! I had o take children away from their families! I didn't want to do it anymore, I just wanted to run, forever and never hurt anyone else. Never take anyone elses life, but my own. I jumped off a cliff and decided my fate would be a hell filled one.