My Guilt and His Pleasure

Rooftop

"Only if Lahore had beaches, we would have gone straight to them." He told me as he was driving. I was in his car, an hour later. I couldn't resist staying with him.

"Ah that's true. What's could be more fascinating than the unstoppable ocean waves? When they come and touch your feet, making you feel cool, stress-free, and calm, and next minute they would leave you standing there clueless. How beautifully the ocean mimics life. Calm on the surface and deadly within." I kept saying my thoughts. It felt safe with him, to spit out my feelings without being judged.

"I didn't know you were a poet too." He complimented, to which i rolled my eyes.

It was 3am. If my parents knew I were here with a stranger, instead of being with Aisha, they would have killed me. But he didn't feel like a stranger. I felt like I knew him.

He parked in front of a restaurant. He held my hand and we climbed stairs. We climbed almost 7 floors and reached the rooftop. I was totally breathless at that point. We coughed and laughed, for straight five minutes.

"That's alot of exercise, God!" I said, finally catching my breath.

"Ah that's nothing, you know I .."

"Stop stop! I dont wanna hear any flex!" I rolled my eyes. He just smiled.

We both were sitting against the roof's forewalls. "This is my favourite place." He told me, calmly. "I have never brought anyone here till now. But I wanted to show it to you. I felt like I should."

"What makes it so special?" I asked looking at him. And he closed his eyes for a moment. Everything in the world stopped in that moment. Pin drop silence filled the air. I felt like I could hear his heart beating. His features were shining in the moonlight. I had never felt this absorbed in the moment. My gut feelings, my consience, all had been shut up under the spell of his charm.

Then he lifted his eyelids and his glittery eyes moved towards me. I didn't look around. His pupils dilated as he started explaining his love for this place.

"You know, this place is like my secret garden. The first time I came here I was in my worst forms. Unlike people, this place accepted me. I cried, vented, and it heard. Along with the sky and the moon. That's the other thing I love about it, I feel hugged by the sky. I feel like the moon flirts with me. See, tonight it's flirting with you. I don't mind. How could he resist?"

I rolled my eyes at this.

"Well, we don't get many peaceful places in cities. So this is my home!" He finished with a smile.

"Home is not about places, I think. You can feel most comfortable and calm even in a bazar when with the right person. I don't look for homes in places anymore." I replied.

"People are hollow, Zara. What would you do with empty places?"

And I felt like he handed me a mirror. I was hollow. How would I be calming another soul when I myself am restless?

"Maybe only an empty soul will know the pain of another. And together we fill eachother." I suggested.

"We? Me and you?" He raised his eyebrowns. His words sent shivers down my spine. Every part of me wanted to say yes but i couldn't. I stayed silent.

He reached for my hand that was laying on floor. We knotted our tiny fingers. And I felt a string join us together. Everything set into silence. I could hear nothing but our breaths.

Then my phone rang. At 4am. Dad. But why?

He probably read the tension on my face. "They don't know?" He asked me. I couldn't answer. I muted the call.

After a few minutes, it rang again. "Pick up the call, Zara. It must be something important." I looked at him. What if Dad found out I wasn't at Aisha's place? No, i couldn't pick it up.

Next minute, phone rang again and it was Aisha. I instantly picked up the call.

"Zara, where are you? Why are you not picking up the call? I am so sorry your Aunt died."

My phone slipped from my hands.