Forest of Dreams

Chapter twenty

I sat on one of the weather-beaten wicker chairs in the courtyard, closing my eyes and tipping my head back to bathe my face in the warmth of the sun. I'd asked Pattie to bring my breakfast outside for me, and agreeing that the fresh air would be remedial she'd brought thick honeyed porridge and glass of warm milk sweetened with spices to the patio. Now with nothing else to do I'd stayed put, basking in the sweet solitude. I felt safe here, my little haven tucked away in the city, guarded by the mother hen.

I heard the click of the door and the movement of people entering the yard. Opening my eyes I saw Lorian approaching, his pace quickening as he grew closer, grinning manically. 'You're ok,' he said, wrapping his arms around me as I stood to welcome him. He leaned back and kissed me on both cheeks, as he always did to greet me. 'Yes I'm ok. I'm ok. Are you?' I asked as I looked him up and down. He was dressed in borrowed clothes which hung off his slender frame. 'You look ridiculous,' I said, laughing.

'What? You don't think it suits me?' He lowered his voice, making it as deep as possible as he spoke. 'I could be one of your macho friends.' He glanced over his shoulder. Ayol and another man were loitering in the background, staying close to the door. I knew the other man's face, he was one of Ayol's cohorts. He was the one who'd interrupted us on that night, who would have killed me had Ayol given him the signal. The one with the boyish face, pleasant and youthful looking. 'Did they treat you well? Did they look after you?' I asked quietly, looking back to Lorian.

'Yes, yes, very well. Kaspa's taking me home now. He said he wanted to make sure I got back safely. They've taken good care of me.' He rubbed my arm reassuringly. 'They're not as bad as they look. Although Ayol isn't the friendliest person I've met,' he said in a hushed voice. I glanced back to see Ayol in a tense stance, clenched fists hanging by his sides. 'I'm going to stay home for a few days while I recover fully. You need to do the same. Promise me you won't go back to the cemetery for at least a week. You need to be fully recovered before you start digging holes again.' He kissed me on the cheek lightly. I sat back down and watched as he left with Kaspa, seeming at ease in his company. Ayol lingered by the door for a moment, looking unsure of what to do with himself. I raised my hand to wave him over. Before I'd rested my hand back down on my lap he was in front of me.

'Are you are he...are you together?' he asked abruptly as he stood in front of me, blocking the sun. 'I have to know. I'm sorry. If you have feelings for someone else I just have to know. It's driving me crazy.' He raked his fingers through his hair then folded him arms firmly across his chest. I could see his muscles tense under the thing fabric of his shirt. 'I've seen the way you are together. It's obvious you like each other. I won't stand in the way of what you want, if you want someone else.'

'Lorian's my friend,' I said, confused by the sudden outburst. 'There's nothing more to it.' He studied my face for a moment as he loomed over me, before the tension eased from his brow. He pulled a chair next to mine and eased into it, his large physique only just squeezing in the frame.

'You look much better. How are you feeling?' His tone was ten times lighter now but I was in a much darker mood.

'You're the one who told me that no-one should be without a friend here. Lorian has been a good friend to me, when I needed it the most, when I had no-one else, when I thought I'd lost everything.' I was spitting out the words angrily, staring straight ahead as I spoke. 'I don't know what you expect of me. After what you did to me, did you want me to sit at home pining for you? I don't have to justify myself to you for having made a friend.' He didn't say anything. We sat in silence both looking straight ahead. Why did he always have to ruin everything? Yesterday had been...I didn't know how to describe it. I'd felt comforted by him, grateful for what he'd done for me, I'd seen the old Ayol, the one I'd asked to come back to Tarthin with me. 'You saved my life,' I said suddenly, thinking out loud, 'and Lorian's. And after everything I said to you, you stayed with me for four days.' As I said it the magnitude of what he'd done sunk in. If I were him I'd have left me for dead. We looked at each other for a long time before I looked away, ashamed to look him in the eye while I recalled all the cruel things I'd said to him. 'I didn't deserve that,' I said quietly, staring at the dusty stone floor beneath my feet. I wondered if I'd have done the same for him but I knew that I wouldn't have. I was so clouded by my anger towards him that if the tables had been turned I'd probably have done nothing more than tell him the Gods were giving him what he deserved. I looked sideways to him. He still looked exhausted, all the spark gone from him, like he'd given all his energy to me and now he was left an empty shell.