Vivian

Chapter 1

CRASH

"You've never loved me, what am I? A slave to you?!"

"Even a filthy slave would be more useful!"

CRASH

There they go again. It's like it never stops. And then they wonder why Andrew left. Lucky. Why couldn't he have just taken me with him?

I throw on my sweater and pull on my mud-caked hiking boots. They won't notice that I've left, they never do.

"I'M GONE!" I shout, knowing they were too preoccupied to even care.

"...and if I left, you would never be able to even take care of yourself. Who would help you with your precious job when it gets hard?" Mom screams through her choking sobs.

" It's not like you do a good job of that anyway! You would NEVER be able to do what I do, you wouldn't be able to handle it, and you never..."

CRASH

Yep, they dont care. I walk out the glass back door, not bothering to lock it behind me, no sane person would come near this battlefield of husband vs. wife. Ha, their swords would be their pathetic accusations. I chuckle humorlessly at the imagery. I make my way down the backyard and over the fence and continue down the sidewalk to my sanctuary, my forest.

Vivi, it's raining!

I don't care.

It's cold.

I don't care, Vi.

The forest is dangerous!

Perfect, now leave me alone.

You know I can't, Vivi...

I finally make it to the edge of the forest. I close my eyes and listen to the serene silence. Oh, the beautiful sound of nothingness. I reopen my eyes and drink in the beauty in front of me. Trees stretch up to the sky, black silhouettes against the deep dark navy of it. I find comfort in the woods alone at night, so that's where I go.

I skip in. Peter, the ancient tawny owl who was always perched on that same old branch in that same old tree, breaks the eerie silence with his sharp screech. Just like always. Hello Peter, I think while continuing to my usual spot. I know my forest like the back of my hand; it's my escape from home - no, it is my home.

Ugh I have to hurry! He'll already be waiting and I hate keeping him waiting. He's infinitely patient, but I still don't want to be rude. I hurry along over the rain soaked ground, my feet smushing the dead leaves covering the soil beneath. The rain beats softly on my head. I love the rain, it's so cold, it's so soft, but it's still deadly. Funny how the world works.

Vivi! Seriously, you need to go back, this is dangerous!

Shut up, Vi.

You could die out here!

Why the hell do you think im out here?

VIVI!

I said SHUT UP!

I finally made it to the clearing. It was completely surrounded by dense trees, out of which came a small, shallow stream. Some day I'm gonna follow it and find out where it leads. Right now it is almost frozen by the winter cold. Too bad it's not cold enough for snow. Hmm, snow. I've always wondered what hypothermia felt like. It sounds like a lovely way to go.

VIVI!!!

Oh come on, Vi! Don't tell me you've never thought of laying down, sinking into the snow and never getting back up! It would be like going to sleep on a bed made of snow and icicles! Don't tell me you've never thought of it!

No, I haven't thought of that! Unlike you, I enjoy life!

Oh shut up, I don't wanna die.

Good, I know you would never--

I just thinnk that it'd be easier than living.

Vivi!

SNAP

I'm pulled out of my conversation, thankfully. Vi could be such a pain sometimes. I slowly turn to see him, it's been so long. I can finally breathe again. My heart pounds so loud I'm sure he can hear it.

Of course he can hear it, he knows how it sounds. He loves you more than you love him, Vivi.

Okay, that is so not true. I love him more than I love myself!

And that right there is the problem, Vivi! You need to--

Don't tell me I need to love myself more, Vi, you say it way too often, and I thought I told you to shut up! He's here so just hush and enjoy his company like we always do!

He saunters forward towards me, cautious as though his actions may hurt me. He's always like this; always too careful. I love that about him. He cares if I get hurt, and I know it would kill him to ever hurt me, just like it would kill me if I ever hurt him. Heck, I'd kill myself if I ever did that. Just like always, he stops three whole feet from me, telling me that it's my turn.

It's cold and I feel frozen, but I need to touch him, I need to know he's actually here even though he always is. He'd warm me up like he always did, and then he'd keep me safe. Just like always.

I walk to him - as slowly as he had to me - while reaching towards him with my shaking hands. I want to run to him, but this is how it always is and I'm not going to change it for anything. It's beautiful, ritual, almost like a dance.

"I'm back, Aiden. I missed you so much," I whisper. Just like I always do.