Raspberry cake「Hanji x reader」✔

18

tw!angst

It had been weeks since it had happened. Weeks weren't enough to put it in words. The young woman found her death by the bullet. Drilling into her stomach. The cold blood had streamed out. Heavy mourning from the lose was still present after weeks.

They all felt lost, full of grief and pain. I watched them standing there. I wasn't able to move. I did nothing, I stood there in front of this stone. I didn't even saw her death. This object was blank with some meaningless at the same time meaningful letter grave in.

The vivid memories that were brand into their mind. With a bitter feeling of lose left. I was only having the story told. I was gripping convulsively on my pain filled immagination.

I was paralyzed as I stood there. It took me a whole while to process she was dead. She was dead and I couldn't even say goodbye. The goodbye that slipped out of my mouth hoping desperately that it wasn't forever,
but now it was.

I felt a gentle hand laying on my shoulder. The touch that left a warm feeling on my shoulder made me turn back. Back in the reality ripping myself out of the paralyzation.

I first felt the wet streaming down my cheeks. Dropping of my by the rain drowned skin. The cold of the tears didn't made a difference in the rain.

Cries and sobbing, heavy breathing escaped out of my mouth.

I didn't felt like I was able to do anything at the moment.

°

The late night of the day that placed after weeks if ehat had happened. The stars shining bright in my face, the moon being a object in the middle of it all.

My finger placed on a book I was reading. This was my way trying to achieve that I'd be able to learn something from the Marleyans who gave me advice.

My eyes went over the words. One of my palms supporting my head. The skin of my cheek feeling rather soft this once. Maybe that was why Hanji once stroke with a smile over them.

A door creaking made myself turn. My eyes snapped towards the door.
I saw the figure that fell into my eyesight. At the end of their own
self. They had nothing— and really nothing anymore to desperately
hope on.

As I looked at them I saw it in their eyes. The expression was so heartaching to me.

They came in—they looked at me.
I was taking my way towards them. I stopped as we met I the middle of the room.

Where I saw their face qbout to be decorated with sorrow. They looked at me empty, I felt their gaze on me. The feeling was horrible.

"Y/n—I don't know what to do—I'm sorry that I'm like that lately. I just don't know what to do anymore. This whole situation is driving me crazy, I don't feel like I was the right decision. I'm driven by my emotions! I don't know how to handle it like Erwin—I let so many people die already through my hands—of my plans not succeeding.." they trailed off. They ran through their hair. The oily brown hair was messy as nearly always.

I felt bad, so bad, I wanted to help. I just didn't knew how.

Their eyes were about to let it all out. I abruptly embraced them in a hug. From there on I heard quiet sobbing, the wet tears rolling down their cheeks. I didn't wanted to look at them in that moment. The puffy eyes I would encounter could break my heart right away.

I kept nuzzling my head in their chest. I heard the lungs inhaling and exhaling. All deep in the silent we had produced. "Don't worry to much Hanji—you did everything you could, you're a human not some sort of machine." I broke the hug softening my gaze. I held it own them as I was
holding their hands in mine.

They sat themselve on the ground. They were lost-, they had no clue-, nothing left to believe they would be able to do this position—this job right. They were holding power in their hands—lives—responsibility.

I was squatting inches away from the ground. I looked them straight in the eyes. They fell into mine while I softly smiled with sadness.

I held on their hands squeezing the. shortly. Which made them look at me. I collected my words to sort them. "Times changes, Erwin had his reasons for this, I believe in that. Just one thing will never change for sure.."

"That I always will love you, Hanji." I said as I sat myself up using my thighs as support. I laid my hands on their soft cheeks. I looked them in the eye. Their brown orb so powerful—a completely different sort of moment we had. I placed a kiss on their forehead.

I sat down, they sat beside me, just us two watching the dark of the night. With the hope blooming in their heart again.

"I love you too, my lovely Y/n." They said leaning their head against my shoulder. A visible smile was on their lips without me having to face them, I knew that for sure.