COMA; Karl Jacobs

31

TW: angst, yelling, cursing, fear of losing a loved one

"karol why can't you just be happy for me like everyone else? i'm happy now, karls happy now." i stared at my computer screen to the disappointed face of my best friend. i couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth.

"kylie do you even remember the state you were in when you found out about them? he did you so wrong how can you just let him back in just like that?" karol rolled her eyes.

"IM SORRY I THINK I CAN MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS CAN I NOT? karol i'm 22 years old i know how to fucking take care of myself, i know what i'm doing." i yelled, more frustrated than before.

"kylie you know how much he hurt you. how do you trust him to just never hurt you again? how can you put all of your trust issues away because suddenly he's at your house telling you he broke things off with corinna, may i remind you, the girl he left YOU for because he was impatient with you during your coma. i'm sorry that just doesn't sound like 'love' to me. kylie i know you're falling in love with him i can tell. there's nothing wrong with that, but i strongly believe going back to him right this instant is a horrible idea."

my eyes stung with water after i'd realized how right she sounded. i'd let karl in too easily, how do i know he won't hurt me again? how do i know he's changed? even after all that's happened since he came back to me, how do i know it will last?

then again, we weren't dating before i dropped into my coma. we were merely making out, sometimes cuddling.

"kylie please. i know i'm giving you some tough love but i can't sit here and watch you go through all of that bullshit again. i don't know if clarissa told you but i came down to visit you when u were a month into the coma, and i stayed there for a week. karl and i got to know each other and he's a good guy. But i could SEE his impatience. there's no way someone can change within less than a half a year. i'm looking out for you because i love you, NOT because i'm against you" karol looked at my face through her screen intently, watching the tears fall down my puffy cheeks.

"i know karol. i love you too and i know youre right i'm just trying to think of what to do. i'm falling in love with him and we just started things up again.  what the hell am i supposed to tell him! that i dont want to be with him? that'd be a complete lie" i bit my nails and looked to the floor underneath my desk.

karol sighed. "well you could have a sit down with him and explain to him that maybe you two jumped into things a little fast after he did you wrong. that it's unnatural to leave you for another girl because he became impatient, and then come crawling back to you because you've waken up. it doesn't seem right you know?" karol suggested.

i nodded and smiled.

"thank you karol. i don't know what i'd do without you, genuinely. thank you for putting me in my right mind. i'm gonna go okay? it's 1 am here i have to get to the warehouse around 8 am today. i'll see you next weekend, can't wait to fly out. love you!"

karol said her goodbyes and you're welcomes before i ended the call and picked myself up from my oh so comfortable gaming chair and into the bathroom.

i stared at my tear stained face and laughed.

"karl hurt you, why did you let him in that easily?"

my laugh faded

"im falling in love with him. what do i do?"

my frown formed

"i don't want to break it off.."

i shook my head and brushed my teeth and did my skin care before getting comfortable in my bed and going to sleep, thinking about what to say to karl.