Everything Has Changed

Fifteen

It's been three days and in those three days, three other people with families and friends have been murdered. But, I have to go back to Texas today. JJ said she'd call if anything came up but I have to get back to my life. Odd enough I miss the work, and I miss Jensen. I told him I wouldn't forgive him and that we were done but I can't stop thinking about him. Everything reminds me of him. Old songs on the radio, the guitar shop, old cars. Last night when I was watching TV in my room at the old Dauntless base, Supernatural came on.

The first episode actually. Seeing Jensen and Jared that young was pretty weird actually but it made me miss him more. This morning I decided that I had to go back. I told Four that it wasn't a good idea for me and him to be in an actual relationship and he understood and actually agreed with me. 

I woke up before everyone else and got dressed. Four was in fact sleeping beside me though. "Claire? What are you doing?" He asked in a gravelly voice. "Go back to sleep Four. I'm going back to Texas. I can't be here anymore." I said and he sat up with a groan. I mean, I would to after what we did last night. Wink wink.

"Why not?" He asked and I stood up putting my stuff in my duffle. "Because Four, when I'm here, I can't control myself. I had it under control, I did terrible, horrible things when I was here last. And I liked it. I liked it a lot man, I won't become that person again. Please, don't make me become that person again." I said in a low voice so I didn't wake anyone else. 

He shook his head and gave me a sad look. "I get it Claire. I do, but do you have to go back there? To him?" He asked and I shot my head up to look at him. "Yes, I have to go back Four! My life is back there. Don't get me wrong, I love it here and I would love nothing more than to stay and be here with my family. And with you." I said shoving more stuff into my duffle and Four looked me in the eye.

"Then stay!" He said and I looked at him with a sympathetic look and walked over to him. "I. Can't. Four. Please see that." I said putting my hand to his cheek. I leaned up and kissed him melting back into that stupid kiss. I pulled away and smiled. "Plus, you can visit. But I have to go now. I'll see you around Four." I said and grabbed my duffle then walked out of our room. 

I got on my bike and started the journey that would only take a day because of the tunnels. I stopped for gas and walked inside the station to get something to eat. "Hey, pretty thing. What are you doin out here all alone?" The cashier asked as I put a bag of chips on the counter. "None of your damn business." I said as he rung up the chips. "Comin or goin?" He asked and handed me the bag. "Goin. Have a nice day." I said and walked out. 

I ate then got back on the road. It only took a few more hours to reach Texas. When I saw the 'Welcome to Texas' sign I was happier than you could even imagine. I stopped and pulled out my phone. I dialed the number and they answered on the first ring. "Claire?" They asked and I smiled. "Hey Jared, I suppose you're with Jensen." I said and I heard the smile in his voice. "Yeah, I am actually." He said taking his voice down a notch.

"Good, where are you?" I asked hooking my phone up to my new blue tooth headphones then I started driving again. "My place. Man, he misses you so much. I can't get him to stop talking about you." Jared said and I laughed. "I miss him too. Could you send me your address?" I asked and he chuckled. "Yeah, just sent it. Claire, where have you been?" He asked and I sighed. "Canada. My mother was murdered and I had to go." I said and he took in a sharp breath. 

"Don't say it Jared or when I get to your house, I'll hit you so hard-" He stopped me. "Okay, okay! I get it!" He said and I laughed. He knows batter and that's good. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't tell Jensen I'm coming okay?" I said stopping at a red light. "Okay. Claire, I want you to know that he really is sorry for what he did. His temper and emotions can get the best of him sometimes." He said and I nodded. He can't see you dumbass.

"I know. It happens to the best of us. Gotta go Jared. See you in a bit." I said and hung up. That stupid Heaven song came on that Jensen sang at Convention. Okay, so maybe it isn't stupid and maybe I love it but he doesn't have to know that. It took ten more minutes for me to get to Jared's house. I got off my bike and walked to the front door. His house is fucking huge! I hesitated but Knocked anyways. I heard Jared's huge booming voice. "Jensen! Can you get that!?" He shouted and there was commotion from behind the door.

"Why do I have to- Claire? Oh my God Claire!" Jensen said a he opened the door. He picked me up and spun me around. I laughed and there was a clicking noise in the background. Jensen put me down and I looked at him. I leaned up and kissed him. A deep and sweet kiss that I've missed for so long. 

Jensen pulled away and smiled at me. "Claire, I have to tell you something." He said and I went back to the time he asked to talk and my heart sank. "Okay, shoot." I said and he smiled wide. "I love you. You're gonna say that it's soon and that we don't know our feelings yet but, I may not know much but I do know this. I love you and I don't think you can change that." He said and I kissed him again. This man, a loving, caring, sweet, and generous man loves me.

When I pulled away Jensen looked at me worried. "Say something." He said and I smiled. "Jensen, to me love is a scary thing because those who I love die or I push them away. For me love is free fallin and I don't know what's at the bottom. Whether it's you ready to catch me or not you and I fall straight on my face. But, I'm willing to free fall with you and see where this ends up." I said and he smiled. I love seeing that smile. It goes all the way up to his eyes and it warms my heart. 

"I have to go sort some things out and I'll meet you at the complex okay?" I said and he nodded. He kissed me once more and there was a spark there. Like someone had shocked me with jumper cables. I pulled away and smiled at Jared. He mouthed a 'thank you' and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

He just smiled and I looked back at Jensen. "See you soon yeah?" I said and he nodded his head. I walked back to my bike and got on. I drove off down the road and onto the freeway. I put in my headphones at the stoplight and started to listen to my old 70's rock playlist. 

I started again down the freeway jamming to my playlist when a truck came from no where.