Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy

And Him

"Sorry Cassie, I got bored," I explain as I pull out of the mall's parking lot. "You can't really blame me."

"But you were my ride home," she complains. "How am I supposed to get home now?"

Her trembling voice is so close to penetrate my closed heart and make me turn around. It's just not close enough, however, so I step on the gas pedal to reach my house faster.

"I don't know, Cassie, but I'm too far away now and I'm extremely tired. You wouldn't want your friend to get behind the wheels while she's tired now, would you?"

"No, of course not. I-I just wish..."

"Good, then I'll see you later." I hang up not wanting to hear her voice anymore. That girl needs a backbone, she's way too easy to guilt trip.

I turn the wheel, taking the next exit off the San Francisco Bridge only to find myself stuck in an irritating traffic. I need to get to my house now because I can feel an uncomfortable feeling slowly crawling up the length of my body. My breath is becoming shallower with each passing seconds.

It's been days since I've had this feeling. I try so hard to push it to the back of my mind but my willpower is slipping away at lightning speed. It's all because of him. His presence in my head is bringing back all of my old issues. I need to get to my house. I can surmount it better when I'm inside my room, alone, with no prying eyes to see my tainted soul. I can handle them when I'm by myself.

I begin to honk desperately at the cars to move faster but all I got is the finger from a few drivers while others just honk back.

Something wet slips down my cheeks. I hastily wipe it, trying to maintain a happy composure. In less than five minutes, big droplets of tears begin to make their way down my face.

"I'm happy, I love my life. I'm happy, I love my life." I repeat the chant over and over again, hoping to calm myself down but it's not helping.

I know I shouldn't be doing this but my mind is screaming at me to do it. The memory of my mom crying her heart out flashes in my head. It feels so fresh as if the event happened moments ago instead of years ago. The pain, the disappointment on his face, they all swirl around in front of me.

He's the reason I can't trust anyone anymore. He took my happiness from me.

I honk my car once more because I can't stay here anymore. My mind is driving me crazy. I don't want to remember. I really don't. I want to forget his face, his scent, and everything else that happened.

I haven't moved more than a few inches in the last half an hour. My sobs are uncontrollably flowing out of my eyes. The more I try to hold them in the harder my tears flow. A stinging feeling on my arms makes me cast my eyes down only to be a welcome by the sight of bloody scratches. There's blood under my fingernails, and the sleeves of my shirt is rolled up to my elbows. The scratches are hurting but the voices in my head are pounding on my skull.

"We're back," a female voice laughs.

"Did you really think you could get rid of us so easily?" whispers another one. "The truth hurts but someone has to say it. It's your fault and you know it. Why are you fighting it?"

"They would all be so much better without you," continues the first one.

"No, my mom still needs me," I argue but I know it's futile. Once they start talking, they won't stop.

"Needs you?" She echoes with a sinister laugh. "She doesn't need you. Nobody does."

Another sob escapes my throat. A little girl appears in my line of vision, she's happily eating her ice-cream with her hands holding on to a woman who can pass as an older version of her.