Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy

Can you hear us?

Even before I regain consciousness, I feel the ominous cloud that's pressing on my future. The tiny innocent devil who's coming to take everything from me is laughing at me.

I slowly slip out of the darkness, waking up in an illuminated room. The burn due to the brightness makes me close my eyes as soon as I open them. I squint my eyes, shifting them everywhere trying to determine where I am before I realize I'm in my own bedroom.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" asks someone from the far side of the room but since my eyes haven't adjusted to the lights yet, I can't see who it is.

The figure approaches me slowly as if he's scared I might bolt. I finally see who it is right before he reaches the foot of my bed.

My eyes widen. "Don't come any closer!" I shout but I instantly wince. My hands cup my throbbing head.

"Hey, calm down. I just wanted to make sure you're okay." Darwin comes closer to me, patting my forehead to check my temperature.

I slap his hand away, "Why do you care?"

"Because despite what you think, not everyone is out there to hurt you. Some of us are trying our best to make you happy."

"Have you ever thought about the fact that I may already be happy or better yet that I don't want to be happy?" I hold my head in both hands, the pain is excruciating. I can almost feel my nerves pulsing through my skull.

"Here, this will help." He offers me a cold compress. Even when I expected the coldness before I placed it on my forehead, I still inhale a sharp breath as soon as it touches my skin.

"Happiness is overrated," I say as he turns to walk out of the room.

He smiles sadly at me. "Maybe you're right, but it still beats misery every day."

And just like that I'm left to ponder on my own dark thoughts alone.

What am I supposed to do now? My mom is pregnant so I'm sure she's not going to need me anymore. She's the one who has always kept me sane even though I treat her like trash. To be fair, I treat everybody like trash except dad.

But what am I going to do now? Something wet drops on my cheeks, I bring my hand to my face and realize it's a tear. Then, many others begins to follow. In less than five minutes of being left alone, my pillows are already dripping wet by my tears. The crying amplifies my headache, making me cringe in pain.

"Rachel!" calls a voice softly. "Look at what you've done to yourself," her feminine tone drips of wickedness. She's up to no good and she's not alone.

"If you had listen to us, you wouldn't be hurting right now," the other one explains.

I close my eyes tightly and put a finger in each of my ears to shut the voice. But how can one block out a voice that is inside her head?

"Rachel stop ignoring us," she barks out.

I bunch myself up in a corner, shrinking more at each ticking of the clock. "Leave me alone. I don't need your help," I plead with them.

They're driving me crazy. I know I should talk to someone about this but I'm scared they wouldn't believe me or worse, place me in a psychiatry. Every day, I wake up thinking it might be my last, it might be the one I finally give in and die. I've dreaded that day since forever but sometimes, it truly feels like the only solution.

"Rachel, honey, you can't ignore us forever." Her sweet voice resonates the perfect timber to depict the one's of someone who is actually concern about my welfare.

"Yes, I can. Now go away." My tears have now turn my bed into a river.

"Baby girl, we're here to help."

"No, you're not; you want to hurt me. Go away."

"Oh, honey we're not trying to hurt you. Those people out there want to hurt you. The feelings inside of you want to hurt you but not us," she whispers in my ears. "You called us, don't you remember? You call us because you want to stop hurting."

"You're wrong. I'm fine, I'm not hurt." I try to convince her but even I don't believe myself.

"Why are you crying, then?" she observes. This make the water flows more freely.

"Shhh, don't cry just listen to us."

"Go to the window and jump. We promise it won't hurt. Well, it will at least hurt less than right now then it will all end forever."

My eyes open and find the window. It's really tempting to end this now. But what about my mom?

"She's going to have another baby so she doesn't need you around anymore. I'm sure she only sees you as a burden now, something to remind her of a failed marriage. You don't want that, do you? You don't want to keep being a burden to your mother?"

"No."

"Then end this, end it now."

"But I don't want to die."

"Stop being such a baby and go jump already." She's getting impatient.

I take a deep breath, throw the covers away from my body, and place my feet on the cold floor.

My foot lifts in the air about to take the first step when something catches my eyes. It's Ms. Pickle, still sitting on my desk looking at me with her glassy eyes as if she's trying to tell me something.

Then it dawns on me. Brando is back. That's why I can't leave now. I need to talk to him.

"Who said he wants to talk to you?" they snicker.

"Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about. Of course he wants to talk to me, he's my best friend."

"Then why did he leave when you needed him the most?"

That question always leaves me baffled. Why did he leave? I know the note on the computer said he has come back to make it right by me but he wouldn't have anything to make anything right if he didn't leave in the first place.

"Stop hurting yourself by trying to justify his actions. He left but we stayed. We are your real friends, Rach."

I jump back in bed, "No, you're not. Shut up, shut up." I scream at the top of my lungs.

Suddenly, my bedroom's door opens. My mom comes running toward my bed, "Baby are you alright?" she asks in concern.

"We heard screams," Steven appears behind her.

"I-I-I..." I stammer. I don't know how to explain to them that I was fighting with the voices in my head who wants me to kill myself. "It's nothing, just a bad dream."

"Are you sure honey?" she checks my temperature with her hand, "Rachel, you're burning up and you're sweating."

"It's fine mom, don't worry."

"I think you should really..."

"I said I'm fine," I shout at her.

She backs away into Steven's arms. "Don't talk to your mother that way, young lady."

I turn around to face the window I almost jumped out of, a few moments ago, "Just leave already."

A couple of seconds later, I hear the door close. I'm left me alone, again. This time I close my eyes and force myself to fall into a restless slumber. This is going to be a long summer.