Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy

We meet again

Brandon's point of view

4 months ago

 "This is going to be so much fun, trust me," says the girl smiling from ear to ear as she pulls me inside the mall. In an instance, I find myself in a throng of shoppers walking, running, climbing moving stairs, and laughing. "You haven't visited San Francisco if you haven't shopped at Westfield San Francisco Centre."

I don't know why I agreed to this. I guess I wanted to go out a bit. My mom has been on my nerves ever since we came back to San Francisco. I get it they're worried about the future, what will happen when we get to meet the Jacksons? I'm worried about it, too. It's not everyday someone gets the chance to meet again the friend they've been running away from, after ten years.

"I really think we should go somewhere else," I tell her.

She laughs in a high pitch voice that makes me cringe. That girl's energy never drains. At first, that's what drawn me to her when I came to the city a few weeks ago. She's so lively and sweet. I thought a person like that is exactly what I needed to get my footing back in the city but now that we're spending so much time together, I've come to realize that she's not what I need.

What I need is the caramel beauty with midnight black hair flowing down her back, her mid-thighs white skirt showing her long legs elevated by red platform heels, and a tight red long sleeved V-neck shirt hugging all of curves.

Wow, she's definitely not a toddler anymore.

I've seen her in pictures but they don't do her justice.

"...New shoes," I haven't realized Laila has been talking to me.

Just seeing Rae again makes me space out. She's all I need, all I ever wanted. The memories of her haven't dissipate even after ten long years of only seeing her in pictures. Her lovely features have grown but in my mind she stayed the same innocent little girl. I refused to let her go. I reached the point where I convinced my parents to have Rachel as my little sister's middle name when she was born five years ago. And last year, I gave Gabriella Rachel her own Ms. Prickle.

"Brandon!" Laila shrieks, "That's the perfect store to buy my new shoes."

She drops a loud kiss on my cheek. I feel so bad for wiping it off. It's not her fault that I can no longer tolerate another girl's kiss. I want to like her. She's good to me but try as I may, I can't feel any sparks with her anymore.

When she wrote down her phone number on her tip at the restaurant, I was intrigued. She seemed to have the courage that I so desperately wanted and needed. I contacted her, hoping that being close to her would help my case. As the days fly away, my cowardice is growing instead of drying out.

I follow her inside the shop. "I think I'm going to wait here," I say. I lean on the window next to the mannequins in short summer dresses and sandals.

Then, she comes in my line of vision. With her eyes still on her phone's screen, she walks around the store. My fingers itch to go over there to hold her, ask for her forgiveness, and be with her again. I want to be with her again so bad, as a friend.

I think she feels my gaze on her because I see her eyes turning my way. I don't know what I expected to see when she turned to me but it's definitely not what I saw. Her beautiful brown eyes widen in recognition but passed that surprise there are so much pain and hatred. Her picture perfect face has lost its glow. I don't even have to ask to know that her life, despise the expensive bag and the latest phone model in her hands, is not a happy one.

Is it my fault? Do I have a hand in killing the little girl I once knew, the one who wanted to make the universe smile?

When she flips around to address my girlfriend, I scrunch up my hands into fists. I feel my testosterone rising up as my nose flair. I smell danger, danger for her. Something primal in me is pushing to go to her to comfort her, to heal her heart back to life. An air of disgust fills my inside. How could I ever leave someone so fragile?