Forbidden feelings- Billie dean Howard

𝙴𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜

I've spent four painfully boring long days here. Each day was the same. I was still trying to learn to adjust to it, but it wasn't easy.

My thoughts were the same each day. Wondering about billie, and if she was okay. There was no sign of her. I didn't have my phone, so I couldn't send a text, or make a call. The nurses weren't allowed to share information on another patient from a different hospital, so the only thing I was left with, were my thoughts.

I glanced up at the clock. Looking as the time read "10am." I was tired. I just wanted to leave. I lay there, staring at the ceiling. My body was still in pain, but not as much as the day I arrived here. I fractured my wrist, got a few bruises and hit my head, which gave me a concussion. But if I was able to choose, I would've switched spots with billie in that accident without hesitation.

It was silent for about a minute, until I heard a knock at the door, which made me jump a bit.

"Hey Y/N can I come in?"

It was the nurse, who I soon found out went by the name "Clara" When I took a look at her name tag.

"Sure you can come in." I sat up, looking over towards the direction of the door seeing her slowly open it.

She brought a plate of food along with her. It was the usual. A nutrition bar, fruit bowl, and water bottle she brought every morning.

Clara wasn't all that bad. She was always checking up on me to see if I needed anything each day.

She set the plate on the table besides me, putting the back of her hand on my forehead. "Feeling any better than yesterday?" I shrugged my shoulders. "I've been feeling the same since I got here."

"Well you don't have a temp. That's a good thing." She grabbed the chair next to me, allowing herself to sit down, making herself comfortable.

"Look Y/N I know you don't want to be here, and I wish I knew how your friends doing but like I said, we can't release that kind of information."

Her voice had a raspy tone to it. Which didn't surprise me, because i'd always see her go on smoke breaks. It was funny to me, because i've never met a nurse who smoked before.

"It's fine." I looked over towards the window, trying my best not to think about what could've possibly happened to her. I turned my gaze back over to clara. "Do you know which hospital they transported her to?"

She thought about it for a second before answering. "It's a hospital further away from this one. We call it the state hospital. It's where patients who have been severely hurt or barely making it go to and-"

I interrupted her before she could say anything else. "Do you know if patients who have been transported there ended up.. well.. passing away?" A wave of sadness struck over me while thinking about it. As the days went by, the more I had negative thoughts. I couldn't help but let my curiosity get the best of me.

"Well, I can't release that kind of information either Y/N i'm sorry. It's a completely different hospital, I could loose my job if I talked about it." I wasn't surprised by that answer, but not knowing just made me feel worse.

The less information I knew, the more worried I was. And clara wasn't much help.

"Well, it was worth a shot." I looked back towards the window, not being able to help the tears that escaped my eyes. Im at the lowest i've ever been.

I felt clara reach out her hand, placing it on my shoulder. "Everything's going to be okay Y/N." But was it? I couldn't help to think that was a lie.

"You're right." I only said that so she would stop trying to make me feel better. I just wanted to be alone right now. Clara removed her hand from my shoulder and stood up.

"Try to brighten up a bit. I know it's hard but I don't like seeing you sad all the time. And eat your breakfast okay? It's the most important meal of the day." I nodded, giving her a fake smile while watching her leave.

As soon as she shut the door from behind her, all I could think about was the night of the crash. I was trying to remember what we were doing, but I drank so much, I could barely remember. I tried my hardest to add everything up and put the pieces together, but nothing was seeming to make sense. All I remember was getting ready, driving her to the bar, and then crashing. After that, everything went black and I ended up here.

I grabbed the plate of food off the table next to me. Great. Another day of overthinking and staring up at the wall, waiting for the time to pass by. I sighed, taking a bite of my nutrition bar. This is going to be a long day.

Hey guys sorry for such the short chapter. This was more of just an idea of how Y/N has been feeling the past few days being at the hospital. Thank you everyone for reading, xx