Mania +All American+

Chapter 10: rehab and secrets

(A/N. I have some twist coming, any guesses on them? Disclaimer, I do not actively think grace is like this in the show, but I wanted to make a realistic reaction that my parents had with self harm so it's more relatable. I love you all and if your struggling with any mental health my DMs are always open.)

"Heres your meds," a nurse said handing me a blue pill.

I hate this little blue pill. It makes my tired and sluggish and lazy. I did that just fine before my meds, no need to take them. But I have to if i want to get out of here. I need to be out at the end of this week in order to learn the steps for the dance competition.

Luckily fresno is our choreographer, not me. He visits me and shows me the routine. It's going to be awesome. I also get visits from Spencer. He gives me school work and catches me up on drama.

Zan visits everyday. Hes lost everyone in his life. Once his parents found out he was in a gang it was no longer okay for his siblings to talk to him. It's a shame that hes to far gone when liv wasnt.

It's for reasons like this he joined a gang in the first place. Now it's too late and no one gives a shit.

Putting Zans issues aside my favorite visitor is JJ. He comes everyday as well and we always play pool in the game room while we catch up. I find myself falling harder and harder for him but I know he doesnt feel the same.

Why would he want a broken girl?

"So your telling me Spencer stood in the middle of a bunch of guns?" I asked JJ.

"Like the dumbass he is," JJ said laughing.

"My God. Is he trying to die," I said giggling.

"I missed your laugh," JJ told me.

I blushed and looked down. God, why did he have to be so cute.

"When you getting out?" He asked me.

"End of the week."

"I am going to ask you something, and you can one hundred percent tell me no and I will back off," JJ said making me nervous.

"Okay," I said hesitantly.

"How about we celebrate you getting out at the end of the week. Just me and you and no alcohol," I told him.

"JJ. You don't like me. Not the complete me. And I need someone who likes the complete me," i told him softly.

"Dont count me out before giving me a chance, i am not who you think i am. I am not only the party boy and who plays girls-"

"Really because that's all I've heard. It's all I've seen. JJ I am not the party girl you met. That was the effect of my meds not working. Your not going to like the girl I am on my meds," I warned him.

"And why's that?" JJ asked.

"My meds make me very neutral. Tired. Emotionless. Have the time I don't know if my personality is me or my meds and JJ you deserve a girl who isnt broken," I told him.

"I dont think your broken Jade. But I meant what I said, of you said no I would back off."

"I'm sorry."

"You have every right to say no."

I stayed silent. At least he knows that.

"I'll leave Jade. But i am always here. Even if it's just as your best friend. "

He left the rehab place and I went to my room. I had used up all my people points for the day on that and was happy I had no group therapy today.

Time skip - at home

"Welcome home, baby sis," spencer said kissing my forehead.

During rehab me and Spencer decided we didnt give a damn if we were adopted, we were still siblings. And hes going to try to help me find my mom and dad and twin brother.

"Sit down jade. We need to talk," mom said.

"Cant this wait, she just got home," Spencer demanded.

"Than it's important she knows the new rules."

I sat down at the table Spencer sat beside me.

"I will check your phone every night. I will have you strip to your underwear to check for any new cuts. I am debating on letting you continue with dance, so I would wait on learning any new choreography. I am having you talk to the pastor of our church," she told me and my eyes widened.

"Mom, my medicine is leveling out my levels. I'm fine now," I snapped.

"Are you. We didnt know you werent last time," she snapped.

"Becuase you have tried to ignore my sickness and you sent me to Beverly," I told her.

"That's the other thing. Your coming home so i can watch you," she told me.

"No I'm fucking not. Actually I have to go meet with someone. I wont be home tonight," I growled and left her house.

I heard yelling after me but didnt stop. I found myself at Shawn's apartment. The place where Zan lives. I walked in to see his tear stained face and more only fell when I walked in.

"What's wrong?" I asked him falling beside him and hugging him.

"I did something."

"Just tell me. We can figure it out," I told him. 

"Your going to hate me," he told me.

"I could never."

"To get into a gang I have to kill. Shawn gave me an assignment to kill someone. I was confused on this person becuase they werent in a gang. I went to this underground dance place and found the boy. And I shot him. Later I would learn it was lamar. My best friends dead best friend. It me Jade. I killed lamar."