Mania +All American+

Chapter 20: Martin Shawn

(A/N. Douvle update. How are yall feeling about the story?)

"Stay with us!" A nurse told me.

"My baby," I gasped out.

"We are doing everything possible," she told me comforting me.

"Please save him. I dont care about me!" I begged her.

Then my world went black. When I woke up I was in a hospital being separated from liv and and Spencer.

"Spencer! Spencer come back! Hes my brother! Spencer!" I scream wanting him with me.

The pain in my stomach is intense and my emotions are in hyperdrive. I just need to know if my baby is okay.

"God. If your there save my baby," I mumbled as my world went black.

Dream

"Shawn. Shawn are you okay?" I asked seeing my dead boyfriend, he was sitting on steps staring out into the sunset.

Wait, why am I seeing him. Is this a dream? Are you supposed to he award it's a dream?

"Your almost back with me. I'm sorry, baby," he told me not turning to me.

"No. Me and your kid are going to be okay. Or atleast the baby is," I told him.

"Like I was. Like corey. Like lamar?"

"Your the one who killed Lamar!"

"Fair. But if your actually planning on saving our baby you need to wake up."

"What?"

"I love you baby, but wake up!"

"Wake up! Jade, wake up!" I heard my name being called.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You have to make a decision. And you dont have much time."

"What's the decision?" I asked her.

"Its the baby. There may be a chance if it surving, but it may kill you. However, if we were to do an abortion we could save you," the doctor told.

"Save the baby!" I demanded.

"We don't know it will survive," she reiterated.

"Hes not an it. And I said to save him over me!" I demanded.

"Prep for an emergency C-section, they wont last much longer!" The nurse called.

The one from the ambulance came over and held my hand.

"Your so brave sweetheart. We are going to do everything we can," he told me.

I felt a needle go into my stomach and I cried in pain. How the fuck was I not given any pain meds.

"Oh my god!" I screamed from the overwhelming, all consuming pain.

"Stay with us, Jade!" My nice nurse coached.

Suddenly the pain got intense and again black spots filled my vision. Within seconds I was out again.

"I'm so sorry baby. Its fault your in this situation," Shawn told me.

"No. I made my own decisioms," I told him,"I've learned accountability is a good thing."

"I should of quit pursuing you when I joined the gang. I'm the reason you and our child were shot tonight."

"Its fine, they are going to save Him," I told him,"hes going to be named after you."

"I'm not worth that. He deserves a more honorable person to be named after."

"Who?"

"I always liked the name martin," he suggested.

"Is there any reason we are talking. I could be awake watching my child be born. That is unless I'm dead," I told him.

"Your not dead," he said to me,"not like us."

"Us?"

"It isnt your fault. You did everything you could. We love you Jade," shawn said turning to face me.

In his arms were a small little baby.

"No!"

I woke up panicked and scared. I was looking around the room but was found with sullen faces.

"Wheres my son? Wheres martin?" I asked all of the nurses in the room.

"Miss James," the doctor told me,"we did everything that we could, but he was dead when we pulled him out."

"No! Your lying!" I yelled, tears filling my eyes.

"You are allowed to see him. Hold him if you wish," the doctor offered and I shook my head Yes.

They placed my child in my arms, only I wasnt blessed with the sounds of his first cries. It was a sound my ears would never here. I wasnt blessed with the opportunity to see his little chest rise and fall with each breath.

He wasnt even given a chance to take his first breath. I started to sob uncontrollably as I cradled his dead body to my chest. This was my child. And hes dead.

I didnt know your heart could hurt like this. I felted gutted, and it physically hurt to live. Children are supposed to outlive their parents, isnt that supposed to be apart of this deal. Why did I get the short end of this damn stick.

"Ma'am. Would you like anyone in here with you during this time?" My nurse asked me.

"Spencer."

"I'm sorry. Hes currently unable to leave his room," she told me rubbing my back.

"Then darnell."

A few minutes later darnell came in the room and brought me into a hug. They had already taken away my child. I clung to darnell like my life depended on it. And right then, it surely felt like it.

"Why me? Why'd God have to take my child! Why is martin paying for my mistakes! I should be dead, not my child!" I sobbed into his chest.

"Shush. It isnt your fault, jade. It isnt your fault."

"I want my son. Darnell all I wanted was for him to be healthy!" I screamed into his chest banging my fist into his chest.

"I know." He said rubbing my back.

Later that day I had to sign forms. One being confirming his name. Martin Shawn James. The next person I saw was JJ.

We didnt talk. He didnt know what to say, and I had nothing else to say. I was going through the different motions of pain. Feeling all my emotions crashing over me or feeling absolutely nothing.

I had only one consistent thought going through my head.

It should have been me.

(A/N. I'm sorry.)