Bee Hive Reviews

#9: BITE ME

Reviewer: 2storytime

Book title: Bite me

Author: MRC_123

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*══════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

If you're reading this, you're on your period.

Welcome to another drunken review, I hope you have your cheap spirits ready, coz this is some Vampire Shit!

Now stare into my lavender eyes (it's the crack) as we do a review of the book, "Bite Me".

COVER AND TITLE: 3.5/5
This is a category I don't judge too harshly because it's an easy fix. I thought your cover art was beautiful. It looked painted and my hallucinogenic arse is a sucker for some fancy art.

Your title font, however, was... just, EW NO! But only the font was problematic. The actual wording sounded like an innuendo and I'm here for allllll of that!

The font was to fantastical and whimsical looking and I felt it didn't fit. Your story is gritty and a bit dark, not too much but still, and that font looks like romance and love letters. Ew.

Just pick another font and maybe the same highlight but use lavender instead of that rosy pink. I think you know why lavender is more appropriate. Again, easy fix. Just the damn font.

BLURB: 2/5
Wow!
Honey, the blurb was bad. (Laughs maniacally.) Thank good God I read it after finishing eleven chapters coz God damn it! It would have ruined it for me.

Your blurb is quite the irony. Infact it's a mind melting paradox.

It was so freaking short yet gave too much away. It gave too much away without telling me exactly what your story promised ie. your premise.

Mind. Blown!

In your blurb I found out that Freya was a vampire. Fuck it! The mystery throughout the chapters I read was trying to find put what the fuck kind of magical creature she was.
Then after ruining one of the book's mysteries, the blurb failed to tell me what the premise of the book, aka the point, was.
You just told us that blablabla she discovers she's a vampire, blablabla she has to figure out her life. What does that even mean?

If I read your blurb first, I'd have endured reading the book. If I wasn't a reviewer and just a basement dwelling casual reader, I'd have bounced after chapter three cause the only visible mystery was ruined.

PROLOGUE: 1/10
You neither had a prologue nor an introduction nor those cute character cast shit page thingies, so I expect you saw this coming.

You however had that copyright thing and I have to respect that your first page says.

"Hey bitches, back off! This shit is owned!"

I gave you one point for owning your shit.

PREMISE: 4/10

What even was your premise? From what I can gather after doing some mind acrobatics is that we're here to see Freya unlock her powers? If this is the premise then you have set it up weakly. You don't have to hammer it over our heads but it is the fucking log line for a reason.

Honestly that's all I got. The premise is the log line that sells your story. It's the primary idea from which the story runs.

The fact that it wasn't clear even in your blurb makes me worried. Honestly please tell me in-line. What's your premise?