Bee Hive Reviews

#5: AMETHYST STAR

Reviewer: Ash, @Ahseya_aye

Book Title: Amethyst Star

Author: @stephanie_m_young

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*══════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

Package C: Reading of 10 chapters and Review. Payment via following, reading 9 chapters and response to the review.

Title: Amethyst Star is a creative name. Although I should say my bias might be in play due to my loving amethyst as a gem. However, I would recommend formatting it as published books generally mention their series. For example Amethyst Star (Book #1 of Amara Kingdom). But this is more of a stylistic choice, so I won't grade your book any less for it. The title gives a sense of identity and I can tell it's a fantasy series.

Graded: A+

Cover: I am very biased to the colour purple and I think it's apparent by now, so just by that you did win me over. The image used also appeals to me since it follows the colour scheme and gives a general fantasy vibe. But, I think formatting can be done better. Like for example mentioning book 1 isn't necessary for the cover since it's in the title. Also, the cover is a bit blurry, so perhaps a sharper image would look better. I can't make out most of the warrior's facial or armour, it took me a while to spot the two. The warrior and sword can be better focused and not so cornered. Despite all that, I do think you picked something that goes with the title.

Graded: A

Blurb: I think this is going to come down to stylistic choices. When I read the blurb I try to think how professional books present their blurbs so that's the standard I use. I can see that you have separated the blurb into three segments: Rainier, Isabella and quest, though the use of ( .......... ) I think this breaks the flow.

Instead of breaking the line about him having a hero complex, you could make it a single line and write his small description as a single paragraph. The same goes for Isabella, followed by their quest paragraph. By simply using a single sentence as a paragraph you can highlight the character without resorting to dots. Another thing would be the use of hyphens, I think you should use (―) instead of the small dash ( - ) and each should have the same spacing. The line "Amethyst Star'' is the first book. . ." line should come after the asterisk (***). It should be noted this is just my opinion, style can vary depending on different people.

I don't have any issue with the content of the blurb, it is too the point and I get the general sense of the story. The main issue comes down to formatting, as the current one breaks in pacing and can get convoluted if not handled well. You can polish it up a little bit, I believe it can get a lot better :)

Graded: B+

Opening Chapter: The first chapter can be broken down into two different chapters. As in, the starting part is in future, while the second part is taking part in where we follow Rainier. So, I'm not sure what the intention was? It felt like a second prologue in the first part. Just the transitions are very jarring, esp since Rainer goes into his back story.

Speaking of Rainier, I did not like him. Like at all, sure his backstory is sad and all, but man this guy defo made me irritated. I like his friends tho, Raven and Deor. If your intention was making Rainer be an arrogant arsehole, then you have done a great job xD if it wasn't, his personality needs touches.