Bee Hive Reviews

#10 The Haunting of Manor Saldonïeré

Reviewer: 2storytime

Book title: The Haunting of Manor Saldonïeré

Author:  @LadyLightSword

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Welcome yee old farts! In honour of the paranormal genre, I'll be drinking red wine during this review. Why? Because blood is too addictive and I won't go back there. God give me the strength indeed.

I'll try to be even more constructive than I usually am in this review. I'll give the problems then give a solution, a suggestion. Okay let's dive into this!

COVER AND TITLE: 1.5/5Yeah I didn't like any single thing about your cover. It looked haphazard and messy. In a sense it actually was a foreshadowing of what I was about to read... Ooops. Okay the cover and title don't carry much weight with me because they are easy fixes.

Your title was good and that's what most paranormal books are titled anyway. The one and a half points are for this.

The cover and font, on the other hand, were a miss. The picture in the cover did look paranormal but it was messy and I think that has to do with the size. It dominated the space and the artwork lacked balance. Find smth that doesn't completely dominate everything.

Together with the domineering photo, came the clunky space consuming font. It was space filling yet I couldn't read. Pick something spooky and again, use space well.

BLURB: 4/5The blurb was fine. It gave me enough information to know what in fucking hell was happening. That being said, nothing was remarkable about it. Try using a tense moment from the book (for now you have none) just to show readers what you got.

Otherwise apart from that, I had no qualms here.

PROLOGUE: 9/10

Everyone at this point knows my obsession with prologues. Yours was gripping, well written and informative.

I loved the narrative voice in the prologue so much. You clearly did your research on how language was used in yonder day.

I liked the part about the older girl and how she so creepily killed herself within the enemy's house so that she could haunt him. Unfortunately when she murdered herself, I feel like she murdered the entire story as well. From there, your story went from an elegant hearth fire, to a dumpster fire. I mean yikes.

I hesitated to give you full points due to the fact that I'm not sure if revealing so much was a good or bad thing. I honestly don't know because it's too early on. Also grammatical and sentence errors.

Anyway for this beautiful prologue I say NEVER STOP WRITING YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING!! .....especially because you need to fic the rest of this shit. I'll explain how.

PREMISE: 8/10

The premise is pretty standard Paranormal shit. A woman dies in a house. Her spirit seeks vengeance and justice, haunting all who come into the house.

A hapless teenager has to, by way of research stay in this spooky devil's wazu of a house. Meery now has to stay in this fucked up house from hell so as to gather research.

This is a good enough premise. It promises to offer a take on the themes of human worth over monetary gain. The slow decent of a young woman's mind as she continues to present herself to this situation. Even the themes of family and justice.