euphoria💫❤️ ~ jayules

59

tuesday

~jayden pov

i woke up to my dad yelling at halia about her grades so i went in the room and saw her room was trashed and my dad was yelling at her. she was yelling back too. i know for a fact that halia isn't the type to have bad grades and if she did she gets her shit together and picks them up. i doubt her grades were bad because she kept yelling back 'i'm not failing'. i wasn't even in the room for 10 seconds before jordan came running in to stop dad from yelling at her and mikey and ace came in too. mikey took halia out of the room and jordan was yelling sense into dad and that man shut the fuck up so fast once jordan called him out on his shit. see this is why i'm depressed. my toxic ass household is the cause of it. when i lived with my mom i was the happiest i've ever been. i'm not suicidal but shit. if this keeps happening and my sadness gets worse it's bye to everyone, no more jayden. i get to call my mom told. i only get like 10 minutes to talk to her then i have to let my other siblings talk to her too. she a break for a few hours so she always spends an hour talking to us on the phone when she gets her breaks. i love my mom bro😂🥺. today i have a basketball game and i won't be able to be with julie tonight because she has a meeting right after school then an interview and then she goes back to the studio for a late night session. i'll only see her at school. i'll be in my room in the dark playing video games with my door locked. maybe cry myself to sleep too. it's currently lunch period and i'm in the locker room because i'm changing my shoes. i had on my basketball practice shoes now i have on my jordan's. i heard the door open.

"jayden?" i hear. i turned around and saw devenity.

"hmm?" i said looking confused

"dude what are you doing in here?" she asked while a smile formed on her face. i turned back around to fix my shirt.

"i came to change my shoes" i said while zipping up my basketball backpack.

"are you gonna come to the cafeteria? everyone is waiting for you. ohh and your girlfriend jules is looking for you too i guess i should bring you to her right" she rambled while i was putting my stuff in my locker. i closed it then looked at her.

"deven i'm not going out there. i'm staying in here i wanna be alone." i said softly then sat down on the bench. her smile had completely been gone and she looked concerned for me.

"everything okay?" she asked while coming over to me

"i'm fine" i lied while she sat next to me

"jay i'm not dumb. i remember your depression and i know that's what it is. i know that's what wrong with you again. it's okay to talk to me about it you know i won't tell the team anything." she said softly. her vibe felt so comforting. i could break down in front of her right now and not feel embarrassed. i should just let it out she's onto me already🙄.

"ok fine.. i'm not ok but... there's times where i am like when i'm with my girlfriend because she's a huge part of my happiness.. she makes me feel like i'm not even sad it's like everything bad and the sadness disappears.. i can't talk to her about it because she'll get sad and i don't want her sad over me.. you don't understand how fucking satisfying it is to see the person you love so much, smile. she's always happy and i admire that and i wish that i could be like that.." i admitted while my shook a little. i can't look at her i'll cry.

"that's good she's keeping you happy but what's the reason the depression came back?" she said softly

"my fucking dad." i said with an attitude. bro he can fucking burn in hell i don't give a FUCK🤬.

"so like last time i see a pattern.. and you're also sad because your mom is gone back at work right?" deven said. i nodded. she's so smart how does she know😐.