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AYOLUWA WAS STARTING to stir.
She opened her eyes just enough to survey the dark room.
Underneath the closed blinds, a hint of silvery moonlight flooded the floor.
Once finally awake, she blinked a couple of times then turned to where Joshua was laying beside her, still asleep but clearly disturbed by his dream.
"No. No. No, grandpa don't leave." Joshua muttered.
Ayoluwa sat up a little as Joshua's face contorted in sadness.
"Grandpa, wait! Wait, I'm coming!" Joshua yelled out in his sleep.
Then he woke up, sitting up in a hurried manner, "Grandpa?"
"Are you okay?" Ayoluwa immediately asked.
Joshua seemed to realize that she was still in the room just then, giving her a look of surprise.
"Uh, yeah. Just bad dreams." Joshua's voice was choked up.
Ayoluwa paused then slowly put a hand on his, "Do you wanna talk about it? If you don't, I totally get it."
Joshua laced his fingers through hers and then looked away from her.
Ayoluwa nodded then started to slide her hand away from him when his grip tightened just a bit.
When Joshua looked back towards her, his eyes were noticeably red.
Unable to help herself, Ayoluwa reached out to cradle Joshua's face.
He leaned into her touch, a few tears forcing themselves onto his face, "Since we've gotten here... I've had this same dream over and over. I'm standing in the middle of this baseball stadium and..." A few more tears leaked out and Ayoluwa wiped them away with her thumbs.
"And he's always there. Singing that truth song you like and just out of my reach. I try to move to walk towards him but something always keeps me stuck. I can't move and I have to watch him leave the stadium without me and..." Joshua began to cry harder.
Ayoluwa's heart broke at the sight and she wanted to console him.
Except she wasn't sure of the correct way of how to go about it.
When her mother died, Ayoluwa had been only thirteen and she wasn't short of memories and possessions from her.
Joshua had been exact opposite.
She pulled him closer and Joshua rested the side of his face on her scalp, his arms wrapping around her and was just as tight as her hold on him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Ayoluwa muttered, unsure what else should be said.
Joshua simply shifted her closer until her cheek was pressed against his shoulder in an embrace.
Hours later, the moonlight had turned to sunlight.
She wasn't sure when the two had fallen back asleep but what she did know was that Joshua had scooted himself towards the edge of the bed on his side.
Ayoluwa rubbed her eye, "Josh? Are you okay?"
"I shouldn't have cried in front of you." Joshua replied.
Ayoluwa frowned, "Why? You were upset and that's what people do when they're upset."
Joshua remained quiet and Ayoluwa sighed, "Crying doesn't make any less of a man."
Joshua remained quiet.
Ayoluwa pursed her lips and began to untie her head scarf from her skull.
"It's just.." Joshua said just as Ayoluwa was rising from the bed, his back turned.
"I don't cry in front of people. Like not even Woo has seen me cry. I feel mad vulnerable right now and the fact that it's you is still weird to me." Joshua spoke.
Ayoluwa sat back down on the sheets and leaned over to gently place her hand on his shoulder, "You can trust me. I would never throw you crying to me in your face. It's not my style."
Joshua coughed then finally turned to face her, "I know. I know I can trust you. It's not about you. I'm just... Man, what the fuck are you doing to me?"
Ayoluwa tilted her head in confusion and Joshua continued, "I'm all wound up inside right and then you like touch me and I'm calm again. Like it's so weird."
"I thought we both agreed that you liked me." Ayoluwa joked.
Joshua smirked, his eyes holding just a hint of sadness still, "But you like me too, let's not forget that."
Ayoluwa laughed slightly, "Do you want me to get a blunt from your bag?"
Joshua shook his head, "Nah... Just-Just come back to bed, please. I always wake up with you downstairs. Please," Joshua reached out one hand to her.
Ayoluwa hesitated then slipped her head scarf from the night stand, retied it then laced her fingers through Joshua's.
He was quick to wrap his arms around her body when she laid down next to him.
In truth, she was still partially reeling from his confession.
Ayoluwa was a bit troubled about how after all these weeks, acting affectionate with her still seemed queer to him.
She knew she was overreacting but she just couldn't help it.
Part of her was still waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to break her heart.
NOTE FROM KY I wrote a new story about Zay Todd so maybe go look at that :) lmao or not up to you vote & comment, porfa!
