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HIS BEDROOM was finally all packed up.
It had taken almost two weeks but between his mother and him, it had been done.
Joshua laid on his bed, staring up at the ivory ceiling.
His window was open to let in the late afternoon sun and the calming breeze that followed.
His speaker was blasting India.Arie's The Truth.
Despite how often Ayoluwa had talked about this song in particular, Joshua had never taken the time to listen to it in its entirety.
And he found that he agreed with what she thought love was.
Ayoluwa had been right, this was in fact the perfect love song.
There was a knock on the door and Caleb stuck his head in without waiting for Joshua to answer, "Sorry, I couldn't stop her."
Joshua sat up and pressed the volume down on his phone, "What are you talking about?"
Caleb shrugged and then Ayoluwa came into his room and closed, no, slammed the door behind her right in Caleb's face.
She had clearly just came from the beach, with specks of sand on her knees and black sunglasses resting on top of her head.
"You have some nerve giving that video to that dumb ass shaderoom page." Ayoluwa was clearly seething.
"Hi to you too." Joshua responded.
"Don't play with me. Why would you give them that video?" She hissed.
"Actually," Joshua stood up, "I didn't give it to them. Well, at least not directly."
"Then how did they get it to post it?" Ayoluwa narrowed her eyes.
"I sent it to a bunch of people, one of them must've sent it in." Joshua shrugged.
"Like who?" Ayoluwa demanded.
"Just music people I met through Quavo." Joshua kept his tone casual.
Ayoluwa closed her eyes for a second, "What part of 'I'm giving music up to care for my niece' did you not understand?"
"I understood it all. And it's such a stupid decision that I'm just not letting it happen." Joshua confessed.
"This isn't your business. This isn't your decision in any way. I'm doing what's best for her." Ayoluwa argued.
"What about what's best for you? What's gonna happen when Lauryn grows up?"
"I'll continue taking care of the kid my sister is pregnant with now."
"So you're just gonna keep putting your life on pause every time she fucks up?"
Ayoluwa was quiet at his words, a stunned expression on her face.
"You have all this talent, all this potential and nothing to show for it. You're too young to give up on your dreams." Joshua argued.
Ayoluwa shook her head, "I have too many responsibilities. I can't be like you, too many people rely on me."
"You're always so concerned about others, when are you gonna care for yourself?" Joshua asked, "What would your mom think?"
"Don't you..." Ayoluwa shook her head and her tone began to quiver a bit, "Don't you dare bring my mom into this."
"Wasn't she the one who taught you how to sing? How to sight read, play instruments, all of it?" Joshua asked, ignoring her last statement.
"Stop." Ayoluwa whispered, her gaze on the floor.
But Joshua was on a roll.
He needed her to understand how bogus, how wrong this decision was, "You told me that you felt your mom every time you sang. If you give up music, you're giving up your mother too. And I'm not letting you do that. If you hate me more because of it, then that's fine but I'm not just gonna sit back and let you give this up."
"Stop." Ayoluwa said in a louder tone.
Ayoluwa gave him a helpless expression, "Why do you care so damn much? You don't want us to be together. You clearly don't care about me. Why won't you just let it be?"
The desire to kiss her had never been so strong than in that moment.
He inched a little closer and was about to show her how much he did care about her when the side of his foot tapped a stray moving box, giving Joshua a painful reminder of why he couldn't have her.
Why he couldn't make this work.
"I never said that I don't care about you. That's why I can't let it be." Joshua replied instead.
"You're so fucking stubborn." Ayoluwa whispered, "That's one thing I've always hated about you."
"It's also one thing we have in common." Joshua's tone was soft.
There was a moment of silence and then Ayoluwa stepped forward and pulled his face down to meet hers.
The kiss felt so right, like Joshua and Ayoluwa were supposed to be doing nothing else.
After a few seconds, Joshua pulled away from her, both of their hands laced together.
"Ayo... I can't." He whispered.
"Why can't you? I don't understand. I can do long distance. Wherever you're going, I'm sure there's a phone. I can visit you. We can make this work. You don't have to do this. Josh, please." Ayoluwa pleaded softly, her eyes red, "Don't... Don't do this. Please."
"I can't." Joshua repeated, "I can't have any ties back here."
Ayoluwa's expression withered and she stepped away, "Fine. Good luck in Arizona."
Then just as quickly as she had arrived, she was gone.
And Joshua could feel his heart break into two jagged pieces.
