Credentials of Fame (Tyga/Roc Royal Story) *Sequel*

Chapter 25: Unanswered Questions

Janelle’s POV:

Everything has gotten quieter. I can’t hear half the things I used to. Life feels like it’s moving in slow-motion, like it’s too real to be real. I feel like some kind of wizard or magician is going to come out at any moment and yell, “Surprise!” revealing that all of this was a big joke and Junior is still alive.

But I think we all know that’s not going to happen.

I didn’t have to ask Sapphire to leave me in her room alone. She understood that I needed to be myself, so she spent the whole day downstairs with Chresanto. Any other time, I would be really iffy about leaving the two of them away from me together, but my relationship with Chresanto is the last thing on my mind right now. My heart’s too weak to feel any love for anyone right now anyway.

The radio in Sapphire’s room was playing on low volume. All day they’ve been playing Daddy’s music and C.L.E.O’s music in honor of Junior. I thought that was stupid. It couldn’t bring him back, or make anyone feel any better about this, so why do it?

I would have gotten up to turn it off, but my body feels glued to the bed. I assumed I had the flu. That would explain all this pain.

Chresanto came in later on in the day. He seemed a little sad about this too. I guess anyone would be upset. He only saw Junior once, but knowing that he’ll never see him again must be hard to accept. Of course, it’s harder for me, but it doesn’t really matter whose burden is the heaviest.

“I would ask you if you’re okay, but that would be a dumb question.” He said softly. At least you know, I thought.

Chresanto came toward me and sat on the blow up mattress next to the bed. I was supposed to be on the mattress, but Sapphire was nice enough to let me stay on her bed.

“So I guess a better question would be…how do you feel?” He asked me. Words could not describe how the death of a loved one feels to someone. As a matter of fact, Junior wasn’t just a ‘loved one’. He was my other half. He was my twin, for God’s sake. When Daddy wasn’t home and I was worried about him cheating on Mama while on tour, who was there to tell me everything was gonna be alright? Junior. When I got an award for making the honor roll at school and cried because Daddy wasn’t there, who helped me? Junior.

And that’s not it. He’s not just my parachute for when Daddy annoys me. He did much more for me. Twins just have this unexplainable bond with each other that should never be broken.

“The way it happened is just…I don’t believe it.” I said to Chresanto, feeling the lump in my throat ready to explode. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, and opened them again. I wasn’t about to let these tears fall. I’ve cried too much already.

“I know. I don’t even get why he did it.” He replied, shaking his head. That’s probably the most unbelievable part of his death. Why did he overdose? Why did he kill himself? The last time I saw him, he made me promise that I would be safe. Was that because he was planning it since then?

Why? Why?

“I don’t know either.” I stated glumly. I don’t know what happened at that moment, but right then I couldn’t hold it in anymore. The lump in my throat got heavier and heavier until I burst into tears, sobbing into my knees. Chresanto came over and held me, providing some kind of comfort for me.

My cries didn’t last for long. I didn’t want to spend the next few days crying, so every time I cried I tried to stop it. That’s not what I needed if I wanted to get better.

“Janelle…” Chres said softly, looking around the room to avoid eye contact with me. Oh no. Not this. I knew this moment would come since yesterday, but I hadn’t been expecting it so soon. I didn’t want to have to face this now.