Fragments of the Dark

Chapter Nineteen

Shit.

Celene didn't know the female in front of her but the female knew her. Recognized her. Which meant she had been alive during-

Shit. Shit.

Din wasn't taking his gaze off the female but he said, "What the hell is she talking about, Celene?"

She ground her jaw and looked at the female again. "Look- ah-"

The woman's eyes flared. "Cara. My name is Cara and I was a drop trooper. You blew up my entire fucking squad. And you don't even remember."

Celene clamped down on any emotion that rose to the surface. "Look, Cara, I'm not-"

"Don't deny it, I would know your damn face anywhere, you Imperial bitch!"

"-I'm not that person anymore." Celene finished. "Just-just put your weapon down and we can go somewhere more private than this and talk. You're outgunned here."

Cara shifted on her feet, debating. Celene slowly raised her hand and holstered her blaster. She bent forward and scooped up Grogu, turning her back and walking to the forest, praying the drop trooper would follow.

Scuffling and footsteps behind her signaled that she did. Celene walked deep enough into the woods that any ensuing blaster fire wouldn't be heard. She set Grogu on a log and turned to face Cara.

She nodded to Din. "Put your gun away. We aren't looking for a fight."

"Well, that's too bad, because I am-" Cara raised her blaster again.

Celene held up a hand and the blaster flew from Cara's grip and through the air. Celene closed her fingers around it and then set the weapon on the ground. "We aren't looking for a fight," she repeated. She risked a look a Din and then Grogu. She didn't want either of them to know this- to hear this.

But she didn't have a choice.

Cara looked a mix between shock and absolute rage and fighting the urge strangle her.

Celene started. "I'm not... I'm not that person anymore. I left the Empire and the First Order. And Snoke." She didn't dare look at Din, though his helmet hid his face. She would be able to read his body language.

"Bullshit." Cara spat.

"It's true." Celene spread her hands in a gesture of defeat but the drop trooper flinched at the movement. "I've been on the run from them for... for years."

Cara growled. "You don't just wake up one day and leave the Empire. You don't stop being a killer. A murderer. All those innocent lives you took- the people you killed- the people you slaughtered."

The words were a straight shot through her, slicing open wounds long buried. "I know," Celene breathed. "I know."

"You robbed families of their loved ones, took away friends-." Her eyes glowed with rage. "I remember when you refused to take prisoners. When you killed every soldier that was captured. Do you remember that, Keres?"

"I see their faces every time I close my fucking eyes." Celene said quietly. "The Empire didn't give me a choice. I had no choice."

"There's always a choice."

I tried! Celene wanted to scream. I tried so fucking hard to get away. Instead she took a breath and a step forward. "I'm sorry for your squad. I'm sorry for what I did- but I don't live that life anymore. I escaped and I'm hunted by the Empire just as much as you."

Cara folded her arms across her chest and stared at Celene, like she was scrutinizing every detail. Then she let out a harsh laugh. "Look at you- you're fucking miserable." She looked to the Mandalorian and Grogu. "Do they have any idea who you are?" She stepped closer. "What you are?"

Celene pushed out a breath, willing her rage to calm.

"You're nothing but a machine. A killer. Not human."

The words sliced deep but she didn't let herself acknowledge it for one second. She stared at Cara, an unyielding force. "Think what you want."

A harsh laugh snapped out of the drop trooper. "You're just a used up tool of the Empire. They broke you and cast you aside. I'm not going to kill you, no, because that's what you want isn't it? To be put out of your misery once and for all." Cara uncrossed her arms and shook her head, dark hair swinging. "It's a better fate to leave you alive to rot and wallow in your misery. Your guilt knowing everything you did. Every life you took. So long, Keres. I'm sure I'll find you again."

Celene didn't say anything, she just slowly watched Cara fade into the shadows. The silence that filled the clearing was heavy and she forced herself to turn and face Din.

But he was already standing. "The Empire?"

The absolute ice in his voice made her go still. "I'm sorry- I didn't want-"

"You didn't want to tell me or you didn't want me to find out?" He snapped. "Is that why they wanted you? Is that why they want what's in your blood? You're their weapon?"

Celene swallowed. "It's complicated."

"It's not, Celene. It's called telling the truth."

"You've never told me about your past so why should I tell you about mine?" She wrapped her arms around herself.

He remained silent for one never-ending moment. Then he said, "The Empire killed my parents. They destroyed my home planet. The Mandalorians saved me and adopted me into their clan. Took me in as one of their own."

Oh. Oh. Fuck.

Her heart thundered in her chest but before she could answer he raised his gaze to her once more. "Is it true what she said?"

"Din, I was with the Empire, yes, but-"

"No, about the people you killed. The people you slaughtered. Were you part of the battles the fractured the Alliance?"

For a split second she couldn't breath. The sheer weight of the memories slamming into her, the screaming, the pain, the agony- "Yes." She said.

"Willingly?"

Nausea swept over her. "In the beginning... yes." She whispered.

Din took a physical step back as if she had struck him. "All those people... the rebels..."

"I didn't have a choice," she said but the words were empty. Nothing she said now would make a difference. The damage was done. Even if she told him that the assault on the Alliance base was the turning point. That was when she discovered the truth and she stopped willingly serving her master and that was when he sought to rob her of her free will. To turn her into nothing more than a mindless puppet.

That was when she had understood who she was. What she was.

Din looked at Grogu. "He's like you?"

"No, he's not-" she struggled to explain. "There's a light and dark side of the Force. Grogu was taught by the Jedi- the peacekeepers of the Republic who used the light side."

"And the Sith used the dark side. The Empire."

"Yes."

"So that makes him your enemy."

She blinked. "I would never- I would never hurt him."

Din didn't answer and his silence gave Celene all the answers she needed. Whatever semblance of a friend she had found was now gone. She was alone. Again.

She said mechanically, "I talked to the bartender at the tavern. She said there's a small village a day's walk from here. We can spend the night in the Falcon and decide what to do." She turned around and walked away without giving him a chance to answer.

With every step she took, the weight on her shoulders grew heavier and heavier. All the wounds she'd so carefully closed were open now and freely bleeding.

And the light inside her that had slowly been blooming now guttered and finally went out.